In the UK we have a Radio 4 show called Sorry I haven't a Clue. One of the games played is Uxbridge English Dictionary. The game is simple, give a standard word and its alternative meaning, here are some examples: - Cursory - A place where children learn to swear. Halitosis - Bad breath bought on by a comet. Canape - Scottish inability to pay. Binmen - Post-op transexuals. Armish - similar to an arm. Thesauras - A disorder following the eating of a curry. Lip sync - Womans intimate wash basin (my favourite) Malady - Bit like a duck. Midwifery - part way through breaking wind (second favourite). Okay, you get the picture. Your alternatives to common words please.