Uxbridge English Dictionary

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by Simon, Aug 6, 2010.

  1. Simon

    Simon Moved on Admin Supporter MAP 2017 Koyo Award

    In the UK we have a Radio 4 show called Sorry I haven't a Clue.
    One of the games played is Uxbridge English Dictionary.
    The game is simple, give a standard word and its alternative meaning, here are some examples: -

    Cursory - A place where children learn to swear.

    Halitosis - Bad breath bought on by a comet.

    Canape - Scottish inability to pay.

    Binmen - Post-op transexuals.

    Armish - similar to an arm.

    Thesauras - A disorder following the eating of a curry.

    Lip sync - Womans intimate wash basin (my favourite)

    Malady - Bit like a duck.

    Midwifery - part way through breaking wind (second favourite).

    Okay, you get the picture. Your alternatives to common words please.
     
  2. Mitch

    Mitch Lord Mitch of MAP Admin

    My faves from the show:
    Radar - an attack by pirates
    Bazarre - Barry the pirate
    Countryside - killing Piers Morgan

    Mitch
     
    Vince Millett likes this.
  3. Simon

    Simon Moved on Admin Supporter MAP 2017 Koyo Award

    Nice on Mitch. You must be a fan, the first two were from the show aired last week.

    I remember the countryside joke, even the cast thought it a bit close. Steven Fry at his best.

    Titilate - delayed puberty.

    Homophobe - someone who doesn't like the Simpsons.

    Xenophobia - fear of Buddhists.
     
  4. Mitch

    Mitch Lord Mitch of MAP Admin

    It's the best show on Radio :)

    He's done a series of pirate definitions on recent shows, I'm trying to remember the others!

    Perhaps it's time for a Mornington Crescent thread?
     
  5. Simon

    Simon Moved on Admin Supporter MAP 2017 Koyo Award

    Still trying to get my head around the Mornington Crescent rules.

    Cormorants - Blimey, more ants.

    Baltic - Involuntary testicle spasm.

    Defunct - have sense of rhythm removed.

    47Martial Man will spontaniously combust when he sees this thread. :rolleyes:
     
  6. Knight_Errant

    Knight_Errant Banned Banned

    Kipling- a fish doing pullups. Funny only to those who do crossfit and know what a ling is, I appreciate. But I'm doing my best.
     
  7. Martial novice

    Martial novice Valued Member

    I do love the show, though I've never managed Mornington Crescent, so I'm staying well away from that thread (5 pages at time of writing - it doesn't take them that long on the show!)
    I've tried to make some MA related ones. Excuse the badness of some puns :hat:

    The Deadly - deceased founder of JKD
    Kali - A bit Marxist
    Arnis - belonging to Mr Schwarzenegger
    Right Cross - Very upset
    Left Cross - Upset and abandoned
    Roundhouse - An igloo
    Submission - Orders for the U-Boat captain
    Hip throw - a trendy rug
    Inosanto - not guilty
    Zen - when I had a German accent
    Hammer Strike - Can't touch this 3 wheeler


    :bang:

    MN
     
  8. Mitch

    Mitch Lord Mitch of MAP Admin

    :happy::hail:

    That just may be the funniest post on MAP ever!

    Mitch
     
  9. Simon

    Simon Moved on Admin Supporter MAP 2017 Koyo Award

    Well done you.

    Original and relevant to MAP.

    Go to the top of the class.
     
  10. Knight_Errant

    Knight_Errant Banned Banned

    Iron shirt- dude, that thing is really creased.

    I'm sorry.
     
  11. SB1970

    SB1970 Valued Member

    I don't want to spoil the secret but you do all know the trick regarding Mornington Crescent?

    there ARE no rules,it's all made up as you go along,you just ACT like you know what your doing,thats the big joke
     
  12. Simon

    Simon Moved on Admin Supporter MAP 2017 Koyo Award

    :hammer:

    Childhood - young ganster.

    Disconsolate - record played after midnight.

    And just for you KE.

    Evanescent - A welshman who glows in the dark.
     
  13. Simon

    Simon Moved on Admin Supporter MAP 2017 Koyo Award

    Thanks dude, but you have posted this in the incorrect thread. Mornington Crescent has its own thread.
     
  14. SB1970

    SB1970 Valued Member

    :rolleyes::eek: me bad,sorry
     
  15. Llamageddon

    Llamageddon MAP's weird cousin Supporter

    Ugly - first recorded caveman name
    karate - mobile meal for angry people
     
  16. Martial novice

    Martial novice Valued Member

    Awesome! That would have meant nothing before, but now you're a Global Mod I'm just going to bask in the glow.
    While I'm basking you can fill the trophy with champagne. There will be a trophy won't there???
     
  17. Martial novice

    Martial novice Valued Member

    Thanks (though I'm not bringing in an apple).
    Instead I'm going to risk the other pupils firing spitballs at the back of my head by suggesting some even MORE tenuous ones:

    Sabre - Just posh, not drunk
    Escrima - this isn't milk senor
    kyokushin - soft furnishing goes for the knockout
    sword and staff - boss has a new motivational style
    Samurai - Frodo's Japanese friend is not telling the truth
    Hakama - laugh at Indian philosophy
    Goju - Cheer on the Israeli
    Shuriken - of course he'll do it
    Dim mak - Less intelligent Scotsman
    Sparring - Two boxers competing for the best massage
    Boxercise - The window on a boxer's soul

    And as if those weren't bad enough - here's some I could't even finish properly:

    Epee - Canadian 'Ep'
    Ninja - to nnnnnnnn hurt someone
    Bujinkan - Readily available substitute for fresh 'Booj'

    Surprising how quickly you can run out of common MA words! Off to try some more.

    MN
     
  18. Simon

    Simon Moved on Admin Supporter MAP 2017 Koyo Award

    I am impressed once more Mr Martial Novice.

    Biro - to purchase fish eggs.

    Herpes - what my wife wins prizes for at the local show.

    Scandal - footwear you should be ashamed of.

    Cruise control - scientology.
     
  19. CosmicFish

    CosmicFish Aleprechaunist

    Seriously laughing out loud at that one!
     
  20. Simon

    Simon Moved on Admin Supporter MAP 2017 Koyo Award

    Some more.

    Harlequin - one in a set of 5 motorbikes.

    Satire - seated in an elevated position.

    Digression - welsh fighting talk.

    Euthanasia - young people in China.

    Impending - death of a pixie.
     

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