Stella Awards

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by Athleng Nordic, Jan 25, 2008.

  1. Athleng Nordic

    Athleng Nordic Sadly passed away. RIP. Supporter

    Some Validation Required

    It's time again for the annual "Stella Awards"!

    For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named
    after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot
    coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald
    's in New Mexico , where she purchased the coffee. You
    remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it
    between her knees while she was driving. Who would
    ever think one cou ld get burned doing that, right?
    That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish
    lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds
    of cases that make you scratch your head.

    So keep your head scratcher handy.

    Here are the Stella's for the past year:


    7TH PLACE : Kathleen Robertson of Austin , Texas was
    awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking
    her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
    inside a furniture store. The store owners were
    understandably surprised by the verdict, considering
    the running toddler was her own son.

    6TH PLACE : Carl Truman , 19, of Los Angeles ,
    California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his
    neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman
    apparently didn't notice there was someone at the
    wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his
    neighbor's hubcaps.

    Go ahead, grab your head scratcher.

    5TH PLACE : Terrence Dickson , of Bristol ,
    Pennsylvania , was leaving a house he had just
    burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for
    Dickson, the automatic garage door op ener
    malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to
    open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because
    the door connecting the garage to the house locked
    when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight,
    count 'em, EIGHT, days on a case of Pepsi and a large
    bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance
    company claiming undue mental Anguish.
    Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must
    pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all
    have this kind of anguish.

    Keep scratching. There are more...

    4TH PLACE : Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas,
    garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded
    $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on
    the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even
    though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced
    yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for
    because the jury believed the beagle might have been
    provoked at the time of the butt bite, because
    Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and
    repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

    Grrrrr ... Scratch, scratch.

    3RD PLACE : A jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant
    to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster , Pennsylvania
    $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and
    broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on
    the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend
    30 seconds earlier during an argument. What ever
    happened to people being responsible for their own
    actions?

    Scratch, scratch, scratch.
    Hang in there; there are only two more Stella 's to
    go...

    2ND PLACE : Kara Walton , of Claymont , Delaware sued
    the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she
    fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking
    out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was
    trying to sneak through the ladies room window to
    avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the
    night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus
    dental expenses. Go figure.

    May I have a fanfare played on 50 kazoos
    please........

    1ST PLACE : This year's runaway First Place Stella
    Award winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski , of Oklahoma
    City , Oklahoma , who purchased a new 32-foot
    Winnebago motor home. On her first time out, she was
    coming home from an OU football game, she entered the
    freeway, set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly
    left the driver's seat to go to the back of the
    Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not
    surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed
    and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski
    sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual
    that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat
    while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury
    awarded her, are you sitting down, $1,750,000 PLUS a
    new motor home. Winnebago actually changed th eir
    manuals as a result of this suit, just incase Mrs.
    Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor
    home.

    Are we, as a society, getting more stupid?
     
  2. Sam

    Sam Absent-ish member

    You know whats making me scratch my head more than all of those? (funny by the way:p)

    Burglarized. What the hell kind of word is Burglarized?!? Its burgled, BURGLED GODDAMIT!

    :D
     
  3. Johnno

    Johnno Valued Member

    I see the Stellas have got the same nominees as in 2007. And 2006. And 2005. (Etc.) ;)
     
  4. Hiroji

    Hiroji laugh often, love much

    I pray to my imaginary friend that all this isn’t true!
     
  5. oldshadow

    oldshadow Valued Member

    Where do they get these idiots for these jury’s? It makes you want to slap each one of them.
     
  6. Senban

    Senban Banned Banned

    Johnno said:-
    You old cynic, you :p

    Apart from anything the whole thing is one of those internet urban legends that's been around for years. It's simply false.

    http://www.snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.asp
     
  7. Smitfire

    Smitfire Cactus Schlong

    So are there any law suits in the states of this nature or not?
    Any true ones we could laugh at?
     
  8. oldshadow

    oldshadow Valued Member

    http://www.stellaawards.com/
     
  9. Sgt_Major

    Sgt_Major Ex Global Mod Supporter


    funniest bit of the thread! LMAO
     
  10. axelb

    axelb Master of Office Chair Fu

    LMAO, I think someone burglarized their vocabulary :confused:
     
  11. Cait

    Cait da Bionic is BACK!

    Can I just divorce myself from the human race now, please?

    :D
     
  12. Athleng Nordic

    Athleng Nordic Sadly passed away. RIP. Supporter

    Sure thing, you're no longer part of the human race. Now you're just spinning idly.
     
  13. Rhea

    Rhea Laser tag = NOT MA... Supporter

    I was going to say exactly the same thing! A race with people so stupid could not include us, Cait!
     
  14. february

    february Valued Member

    And the 2008 award for gullibility goes to.....
     
  15. Rhea

    Rhea Laser tag = NOT MA... Supporter

    Hey, we know it's a joke, I've seen this post before!
     
  16. Stevebjj

    Stevebjj Grappling Dummy

    The thing that really irritates me about all of this is how a mega corporation (McDonald's) took a situation in which they were clearly in the wrong and managed to turn themselves into the quintessential victims of frivolous litigation.
     
  17. Rhea

    Rhea Laser tag = NOT MA... Supporter

    Because they are a mega corporation with lots of money, and this means they get their way?
     
  18. Stevebjj

    Stevebjj Grappling Dummy

    LOL... I wasn't asking why.

    At the end, after they got smacked by the jury in a big way, they settled. The settlement included a gag order, effectively allowing them to spin the entire thing and create the current urban legend.
     
  19. Rhea

    Rhea Laser tag = NOT MA... Supporter

    Sorry, I guess 3 hours sleep really did take its toll last night. I really thought you were asking why!
    It's true though.
     

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