Making mistakes and holding your hands up

As an instructor what would you say are the type of mistakes that are unforgivable?

Or are all mistakes forgivable if the person making the mistake is man enough to hold there hands up and admit to making a mistake?

Is there a point where you have to hang up your belt and say this is not for me?

I ask as someone who has made mistakes in the past. Mistakes in my personal life and as an instructor regarding integrity.Also because I recently read about a an instructor in another martial art who was also a coach at the national level that was allegedly grooming under age girls and abusing his position. For me this would be an example of when it is not forgivable. Or is it? Maybe you think differant as 'Time heals all things' and people make mistakes and people change? I don't know I'd be interested to hear other opinions.

Humberly yours,

Taekwon

 

Generally genocide can't be excused with a "Oops, my bad." I'm inclined to agree with you, assuming you mean what I think you mean by 'grooming'.

 

Using social media to talk to children in a provocative way, how ever and this is opening a can of worms and I may come under fire for this but it's for the benefit of conversation. What really constitutes someone being under age? I know that UK law does not permit any adult to have any type of relationship with a minor, that being someone under the age of 16. However many cultures around the world allow people much younger to get married, are we held back in the West (mentally and socially)by cartoons, etc keeping people immature? Surely the human body tells us when a girl is old enough at least physically by when they menstration process begins? On the flip side are all people mature enough to have a full blown relationship at 16, I'd say some are not. An before anyone jumps the gun I'm married with 2 little girls of my own, I just like to ask the questions that provoke a reaction!

 

No, 16 is not ok, don't be a creepy weirdo.

 

But legally in the UK it is ok for a 16 year old to go with say a 50 year old. And thanks for the 'creepy weirdo' comment il take that as a complement as I've been called far worse, and unless that was said in any other way that in a kind of offensive way you completely missed the point and was the first one to have a dig, nice one. Let me just reiterate the point that I don't think it acceptable either before anyone else jumps on the band wagon, as I said in the precious post I'm just opening up the conversation thanks for your much valued input and I mean that with sincerity

 

Asking rhetorical questions like "Surely the human body tells us when a girl is old enough at least physically by when they menstration process begins?" brings into question your abilities and virtues as a husband, father and human being. If you honestly believe that it is appropriate to start a sexual relationship as soon as a child begins to menstruate, well, to call you a creepy weirdo would be an understatement. Those who think that sexual relationships with children are in any way ok are malignant pimples upon humanity that should be popped and left as a slowly draining smear of oil, bacteria and lymph upon the mirror of the universe.

 

Wow wow wow,

Fist of This is getting blown out of proportion! I have never had any type of relationship with any student etc never would dream of it. I have no qualms in saying who I am, the username says it all my name is David Sims and I'm an instructor with the ITUK in Derby. I said I had made mistakes in my personal life with integrity which if you must know are regarding financial transactions amd getting myself into a mess with money and then trying to lie my way out of it, not anything to do with relationships etc.

I was asking what mistakes are acceptable for example is it ok to be a substance abuser or alcoholic or a gambler? Is it ok to have insufficient knowledge of the art you are teaching? Is it ok to be a lier? Is it ok to steal students money? I was asking what mistakes can people be forgiven for!!!!!

In the OP you will notice that I said I had read about a high profile case whereby an instructor and national coach had been abusing his position by 'grooming' underage students via social media, to expand upon this his school is still going and what was shocking to me was that his some of his students came out and defended him. I said that I think this is an unforgivable mistake but then asked what other people thought.

As I already stated I have 2 young daughters and have my own views on when they will be old enough to have relationships (probably never lol)so please don't make a slanderous remarks if you don't have anything to say that adds to the conversation then please refrain from saying anything.

 

This is getting blown out of proportion massively. I'm not saying its ok at all I was just merely openin up the conversation. I'm sorry if it has caused anyone offence and I'm certainly not saying it is ok to have a relationship with someone as soon as they hit puberty. Anyone who knows me will vouch for me and say I'm am a decent instructor and that I pose no threat to anyone in that way what so ever. Sorry if I've offended anyone once again

 

And no I wanted to talk about mistakes having made them in the past re financial errors and admitting to them, where the heck did I say I want to talk to teenagers on social media, if you read the posts properly you will see I intended no malice as for the comment about when girls hit puberty I meant that the body tells us when people are able to reproduce not that that is when it's ok to have a relationship just thought I'd clear that up man this is so stupid

 

Believe me you mate I would rather kill myself then even think of doing anything untoward with someone younger.

 

MIstake: an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc.

What you describe above is not a mistake.

 

First thing that came to mind as I read this thread was that this was a poorly thought out effort at trolling. The whole thing seems creepy and bizarre. Do we know there truly is a connection with claimed school?

 

I read this a little diffrent than others. Unless the op was edited. He clearly said that he did NOT think it was acceptible.

His exact wording.
"For me this would be an example of when it is not forgivable. "

Now on to his question. Messing with children is a big no. Your case with finances and lack of integrity. Maybe. Are you a better person from this? Are you a repeat offender? It depends mostly on the offender, his or her past and how they continue on from said mistake. Unless it is inapropriate actions with children. There is no coming back from that.

 

He did, but then went on to say

Which is either really creepy or really dumb depending on your standpoint

 

Why? Why do you want to have a conversation about when it becomes acceptable to have sex with a growing child?
It's a VERY odd conversation to want to have is it not? Creepy odd.
For the vast majority of us 16 seems a pretty acceptable cut off point with some caveats on individual maturity and the relative age of the participants. There's no conversation to have on the matter.
If you instructed my daughter I'd be asking you what the hell you are thinking starting such a conversation and finding somewhere else to train.

Perhaps this is internet idiocy on your part but you aren't coming across well AT ALL.