Joanna's Golden Rules of Comedy

1) It has been said that the truth hurts. But as comedy great Homer
Simpson once remarked "it's funny 'cause it's true" which is true
because its funny.
For example, take this "knock knock" joke:
Me - Knock Knock
Someone else - Who's there?
Me - Joanna
Someone else - Joanna who?
Me - Joanna Zorya

2) Swapping the first letters of words is funny, as in "what's the
difference between a coyote and a flea? One howls on the prairie and
the other prowls on the hairy"
Here's an example of that principle in action:
What's the difference between Father Christmas and a pair of scissors?
One Delivers Presents, the other Pelivers Dresents.

3) Puns are good because of their universal accessibility. So for
example:
Where do curlews play tennis?
At Wimbreldon.

4) Toilet humour is considered very funny:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the toilet.

5) Jokes based on foreign words are funny. So the joke "what's orange
and sounds like a parrot? Answer - "a carrot", when translated into
Spanish becomes:
¿Cuál es anaranjado y suena como un loro?
¡Una zanahoria!

6) Cheese is funny, for example:
What's made of cheese and looks a bit like a snowman?
A cheeseman.

7) Comedy voices are innately funny. Here are two examples:
"Let me eat cake"
"Look kid, there's three kinds of potatoes in this world."

 

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Joanna, please stop.

 

Scottish humour is dark.

This guy tells his mate that his father died.
Mate .that is sad

Not too sad he died of a heart attack it was sudden one minute he was fine next minute gone. At least he did not die screaming and gibbering.







Like the passengers in the plane he was flying.

regards koyo

 

Ah, but that's so passé, my dear.

Haven't you heard that innocent is the new disaffected?

 

I don't get it...????
Is this thread meant to be funny?

Anyone wanna hear some Heath Ledger jokes to liven things up?
They might not be funny but they will be offensive.

 

Like all great geniuses I'm destined to remain unappreciated in my own time.

Al gets it.

 

What's long, hollow and on e-bay?

 

I guess no one wants to know eh?
I'll keep the punchline to myself.

 

Go on then.

The Bear.

 

Heath Ledger's didgeridoo...