Girlfriend is into martial arts

I once met a girl who liked old school hip-hop, could name all the bounty hunters from Star Wars, loved Sci-fi, hated chick flicks and was really into boxing

Recognizing this as highly unusual I married her forthwith

 

I like my women with a bit of fire, Red Sonya would be my ideal!!

Osu!

Dan93

 

I think its an imbedded man thing - man is the protector, for this guy to have a girlfriend that would be protecting him would probably be rather emasculating on a 'primitive' level?

But no, don't start martial arts for the wrong reasons, and this my friend would be the wrong reason - don't turn it into a competition, that will most probably ruin everything. Who knows maybe one day she'll ask you to go training with her and you'll really enjoy what she does and decide to take it up, but don't take it up for the wrong reason

(subsiquently I have an ex who really got me into climbing while we were together, suddenly when we broke up I didn't have anywhere to climb because going to her club was tres awkward... the OP could end up in the same boat if he starts at her club and the brown stuff hits the swirly thing relationship wise lol)

 

I think I'd be kidding myself if I thought I could beat my wife in a fight.
And she's barely done any training at all.
She just a tough fiery woman with a no crap attitude. Very dangerous.

Doesn't feel like I'm emasculated. Although I'd have to check that with my wife.

 

I've spent much of my life surrounded by women who if they couldn't beat me would certainly hurt me. It appears I'm not alone in finding this attractive. Funny old world hey?

 

Since you don't know much about martial arts, you may not know that many things called "martial arts" have little to do with "fighting" at all. Many styles are primarily for sport, fitness, and general health. Given that you have not talked about it with her. She might very well only be good at "being calm" and "dancing" really slow.
I would argee with the advise given to you here. I would add that since you are in a relationship with her, maybe try asking her about her training?

 

Seeing as that was his one and only post is it safe to assume she's killed him?

 

Girlfriend is into THE BOOM,, into THE BOOM
here comes the BOOM!

i like that song now

 

just processing

not dead (yet) ... just processing all the above ...

 

Hmmm ... couple of obvious things:

- we'll talk for sure as things progress .. she spends a lot of time on it therefore its an issue. im just not "pushing" on it
- its a nice sentiment to think everythings equal but if you have a Y chromosome you just plain arent comfortable with a woman who is potentially better than you at something physical. its just the way it is ...
-not to say you dont get passed it or learn to enjoy it etc etc. But initially before you work things out (still trying to figure eachother out) its an issue. I think its an issue ... keeps me off-balance .. she thinks its an issue cuz shes avoiding talking about something important to her ...

which leads me to the forum post ( i googled martial arts forum) and my initial question ... how best to deal with it ?

Talk to her about it ... yep
Take it up myself ... consensus no if its not my thing
Start lifting weights .... check. never a bad idea
Dont be a pussy ... roger that!
She probably has no interest in beating you up ... good to know (unless youre into that kind of thing )

Sounds to me like move ahead ... see what happens?

 

Most martial artists aren't concerned with who they can beat up, I'm sure she doesn't look down on you as less of a man.

 

Stop worrying about it and be happy you have found someone who has more in life than sitting around watching TV and updating her Facebook thing.

 

Yeah, if you feel inadequate of insecure, I would life some weights and not tell her about it. Just do it for yourself not for someone else. As weird as that sounds.

Dont make it a big deal is what i mean

 

To be honest I think you should wait until asked.
Ask her advice by all means but it's her thing until you're invited


Edit: I'm relieved you're not dead

 

reply

thanks guys for the advice ...

Y chromosome speaking again here but seem to have left the impression im a wimp ... bothers me ... i fly airplanes ... work a farm ... operate a business ... etc ... its just my new girl is super into fitness and has the statistically uncommon interest in a sport designed to pin you or break you (spiritual aspects aside for the moment). The martial arts/fitness lifestyle is just something im not at all familiar with ... i spend a lot of time outdoors and active but im no bodybuilder thats for sure .... more of a distance runner kind of build.

it IS a lifestyle too ... affects what she eats, has a big impact on her liesure time, makes up a significant part of her social life (like a club) ...

I was wondering what a girl with these interests is really like ... but I will find out in due course ...

I dont think Ill hire a personal trainer and start drinking protein shakes as a knee jerk response though ... would come across defensive plus just not my thing ...

if anyone else has any thoughts on their interactions with similar females im all ears ... but thanks for the comments ... you never really expect a magic answer but doesnt hurt to ask ...

 

She's YOUR girlfriend. What's a girl who likes martial arts like? Like her. You know her better than anyone else here.

My wife is into distance running. I'm not. That's cool. I'm in to fencing and trap shooting and she's not into those, and she doesn't have to pick up saber just because she married me, just like I don't have to bang out a half-marathon to be good enough for her.

If you want to know more, ask if you can watch her practices sometime. If you think it looks fun, ask her if it's okay if you sign up as a beginner at her club. But you don't have to. And definitely don't pick up martial arts because you're feeling threatened that she can do something you can't. There's nothing healthy about that for you or for the relationship.

 

Just be yourself man, accept her for what she is she likes you for what you are and go from there. Martial Artists are parents, kids, brothers, sisters. Just regular ppl

 

You don't sound like a pussy at all man! I'd love to be able to fly planes! It's something I'll likely never accomplish. I don't feel less imasculated because you can fly and I can't.

I do understand that fighting is a (mostly) primal male instinct, but what she enjoys shouldn't be a serious concern of yours at all. Just consider yourself lucky you have a really fit woman! Out of interest, what does she study?


Also, I'm glad to hear you're not dead too.

 

I really dont know My quick response would be karate but that for me is a generic term for martial arts and i know there are dozen(s). She trains at a gym i used to belong to ... it has a martial arts studio attached the guy leases out ...

i will find out in due course im sure ...

I assume you ask because it matters?