Depression Coming Back

Thomas

You rock at being Thomas....always remember that ...

Having had the pleasure of sharing mats , hackey sack and frisbee flinging ....I still say you Rock

Just so you all know ...He beat me at all of these ..

Smurf

 

No experience with depression myself, but... the advise given seems to be a good one! Talk to a professional, you can also always talk to us here on the forum.

I have never met you, but to me you seem like a very cool person. Look at your fight record! That is pretty good and you must have trained very hard to accomplish that. You seem to be a friendly young guy and you have a really nice blog I enjoyed reading (what a pity there haven't been updates for a while now) . There are mayn thigs you could take pride in. I know there are probably many things to feel bad about, too, but there are for everyone.
However, if you struggle with depression, it is probably hard to get out of it just based on advises like this. Please, do seek help.

 

Hey man. Everyone else already gave a lot of good advice, and I can't really contribute much more, however, I can say that I for one am here if you wanna talk, and you know where to find me on FB as well. I know first hand how much help it is to have people to talk to online and how much easier it can be than even talking with your closest friends and family. MAP, along with a couple other things, quite literally kept me alive because of that when I was a teenager, because although my issues were not too severe from the physiological/neurological side of things (they were more anxiety-based and I never ended up having to take any medication), they were massively compounded by the environment in which I lived, and in turn feedback-looped into by my own lack of world and life experience (I normally express the sentiment that I didn't really start "living" as an effective person until I was 21). My 'peers' were a living hell for me, and I didn't really have anything resembling self-worth and happiness with myself until many years later, first after returning to Argentina and finishing high-school among people who actually treated me like an equal (after having spent half my life treated like trash or a second-hand person in almost all respects simply because of my nationality and because of not sharing the same interests as my schoolmates), and later after several years of weight training and the accompanying shifts in body image and demeanor from seeing my body change and learning to push through pain, discomfort, and literal physical resistance. Whatever you do, don't shut yourself off from people, keep talking, and if someone doesn't listen, find someone who will. Online, in forums or Facebook, you can spill everything out at once without interruption, or at whatever pace you will, and you have access to a limitless supply of people from which to find whoever will listen. Kindred spirits and empathic listeners are out there, and location is not an impediment. Keep looking, keep talking, and don't give up. Stay strong, dude. Sending a big hug your way.

 

hey,
that's really so brave of you to admit it . first of all just try to love urself. suicide is not a solution to any problem. life is beautiful honey you just need to love and believe in yourself . there are ups and downs, good times and worst times too. if nothing is good now that means everything will be fine tomorrow . believe that you are strong enough to fight.
good luck & god bless you!!

 

No experience with depression myself, but here is a short story that may be helpful.

An old Chinese lady liked to collect gold rings. Every night before she went to bed, she always counted her 20 golden rings. One night she found 1 of her 20 gold rings was missing. She could only count 19. She hung herself that night.

What does this story tell us?

Sometime we only think about thing that we don't have, and we don't think about things that we still have.

If your

- eyes can see,
- legs can walk,
- body don't have pain,

you should be very happy about what you still have.

 

Back in the 90's I decided to get less stoned, stressed and start getting healthy.

Tae Kwon Do helped considerably. It gave me a tool I hadn't had. I trained in it as much as possible.

Then at age 20, I received an ankle injury in a tournament. I failed to get the correct advice in healing the muscular imbalance that had caused the injury in the first place. A few years later, I had to stop all training due to chronic back pain.

Intense depression followed. An active young person doesn't take inactivity too well.

All the GP could offer was meds for the back pain and depression.

To cut the story short, an osteopath advised me to start Tai Chi and a friend's interest in yoga prompted me to try it.

Im now an instructor in Iyengar yoga, and practice that as well as chi gung most days. Im back to the high kicks after many years, before that I selected styles/classes that enabled me to work with the back pain.

Chronic back pain and depression are one and the same. Looking at the source isn't just a physical address of the body, but the emotional source also. It could be said that physical tension is a manifestation of emotional tensions and blockages.

The practices I do give immense relief and have been a light in a dark place.

Well worth trying.

 

That's beautiful man. Glad you pulled through.

 

Thats awesome @Tman.

 

My friend, thanks for sharing this. One thing I would say is to try giving meditation a try. It's really helped me. I'm on day 36. If you can avoid the meds, and do some meditation, it might be something that can set you on a better path. 1LUV.

 

I got a new job as a bike mechanic (yay) where I get paid per-job that I do. Right now I'm mostly learning, so I'm earning £20 a day so far. The guy seems nice enough and helpful and I enjoy the tasks. I also know Once I pick up in terms of skill I will be able to make anywhere between £60-£100 a day. I also know that's not a lie. I met one of the other guys who does a bit of part time work, a little younger than me and has been there a while who made about £60 in I want to say about 6 or 7 hours.

So I know it's going to improve and I'm looking forward to it, the only thing that is really bothering me is getting paid per day I'm there 8 or 9 hours. I don't have to work those hours or that many, it's just that the quicker I learn the quicker I can do more. There's something about it that sets of suicidal/depressing thoughts in me. This whole quarantine I've had no issues with mental health it's just been this part that's been setting me off and I dunno why. I think it reminds me that even if all my plans work out I'll be poor and always will be and it depresses me so much.

 

A good friend of mine who is in much better physical shape than me died in his sleep 2 years ago. In the past 2 years, every morning when I wake up, I feel I have earned another extra day in my life.

I don't think about what I don't have. I think about what I still have. As long I am still alive, breath the flesh air, and watch the sunset, I am happy.

I want to enjoy every single minute of my life. I don't have time to feel depressed.

 

That's great for you, but isn't very helpful for anyone else.

For a lot of people, depression is a matter of chemistry, not outlook on life.

 

Almost everyone on the planet feels anxiety about starting a new job. You might feel it a bit more keenly, but it is entirely normal to feel that way.

As for not wanting to be poor, try and meet some rich people and see how happy they are.

I know some people who are more anxious about lockdown ending than they are about it continuing.

 

It's not the job that bothers me, I like it if anything, it's just the initial pay for some reason sets me off to feeling bad.

Aye but it's better to cry in a Bentley than on a bike!

Yeah, I just want normal life to resume. Seemed easier than this new normal.

 

Not sure how to help here, but if you are just starting out a job and are a novice at the craft, I guess starting out with lower salary is normal. And you say it has potential to rise, right? I have no idea what a good daily salary would be where you are, but it sounds like what you actually make depends on how much effort you put in. So you can to a certain degree control your earnings and work hard if you need more. Also working on bikes sounds like the type of job that you can probably always find, right? I mean, generally. I can guess that winter will not be the best.

But hey, don't just stress over how dim your future is going to be. I mean, everyone can do that. When I have such thoughts that I would like something better etc., I just try to think about the fact that I am doing the best I can at the moment. If there is really no better route for me right now, I suppose I am doing the best towards any future prospects. And you do, too, aren't you? Or do you think you can do something batter, that you can actually influence?

 

I feel like the current times, even though they aren't the worst, have generated a lot of uncertainty.
Seeing people lose jobs, lose family unexpectedly, separated from everyday life. It makes me feel uncertain and anxious about the future. I like routine and even though change is inevitable, it's a lot coming all at once and probably a lot that affects your directly.

Let's hope in 3 months we have a better idea on how things can go and if that will help you feel less anxious about the future.

 

I was uncertain about returning here as I was very ill when I last posted iirc. But things are much better for me now.