Zombies.. 'nuff said

Discussion in 'General Martial Arts Discussion' started by Van Zandt, Jan 11, 2009.

  1. Van Zandt

    Van Zandt Mr. High Kick

    What martial art would you use to take on a zombie? I'm talking about the Olympic standard sprinter ones from Zac Snyder's Dawn of the Dead, or 28 Days Later. Not seen those movies? Think Usain Bolt meets Hannibal Lector.

    No weapons.

    Just for fun ;)
     
  2. armanox

    armanox Kick this Ginger...

    In which case I'm a big fan of the arts known as...

    Nike-kido
    Adidas Fu

    Where you practice retreat as much and often as possible =)

    Actually engaging in hand to hand with Zombies greatly increases ones chances of getting bit/scratched by a Zombie or getting Zombie Goo(TM) on them.
     
  3. Sam

    Sam Absent-ish member

    I wouldn't want to go into a clinch with a zombie or even to ground for that matter. I think (basing my opnion on Shaun of the Dead) any Martial Art that uses big sticks or very sharp swords would do me just fine,

    Edit: Note to self - read the entire OP before hitting reply......:p
     
  4. Ahmad89

    Ahmad89 Agent of Chaos

    Damn, I would need a weapon of some kind. Preferably a sword because they never run out of ammo.

    I guess Ninjitsu because they train using swords.
     
  5. meghatronic

    meghatronic Valued Member

    You'd want maximum range, so without a weapon. I'd have to say something like TKD or Karate. Last thing you want is grappling.

    Personally, I'd like something fiercely powerful. An AK47 should do it.
     
  6. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

    Lack of weapons would be the problem. Cue Fu is the ancient art of nullifying Zombies.

    [ame="http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=bQGVCJOVQl4"]YouTube - Shaun of the Dead (Don't stop me now)[/ame]
     
  7. Kahnundrum

    Kahnundrum New Member

    Is a chair considered a weapon? I guess so. I don't want to get near a zombie, I might get infected. I think I'd go for Muay Thai. Kick 'em like banana trees and get outa there! Or Karate, or Tae Kwon Do. Hm.
     
  8. tellner

    tellner Valued Member

    You'd be suicidally insane to even think of fighting a zombie empty-handed.

    You want weapons, preferably ones which go "Sizzle" or "Boom!" although "Bang" will do in a pinch. If you don't have those, then the halberd, the maul, the sharpened shovel and the mace are the Tools of the Cruel.
     
  9. Mushroom

    Mushroom De-powered to come back better than before.

    [ame="http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=vt-29u0e7Bo"]YouTube - Braindead - McGruder[/ame]

    whatever that priest was using!
     
  10. Ahmad89

    Ahmad89 Agent of Chaos

  11. old palden

    old palden Valued Member

    Sorry Superfoot, I know you said no weapons, but if I'm fighting bad-fast modern zombies I got to have a sword and at least a third dan in kendo, with some serious silat knife fighting thrown in case I drop the sword or let 'em get too close.
     
  12. Damien Alexander

    Damien Alexander New Member

    if weapons were viable,then yes... the ancient american art of CHING-CHING-POW-FU with a black belt(to hold my black holster) in the .45 caliber range would do nicely :evil:

    Failing that,I'll stick with my fma and kamagong "enhancements" ;-)

    Empty hand,I'll go old school Savate for kicking prowess.



    Now,if you are talking zombie action like the new Day of the Dead,where they not only run fast as hell,but can jump like roo's on acid AND climb walls, I'm goin POW-FU all the way!
     
  13. Bronze Statue

    Bronze Statue Valued Member

    None. I'd just realize that zombies don't exist, and then go about my life.

    Unless you're Tyson Gay or Asafa Powell and happen to have a good day that day, outrunning the likes of Usain Bolt really isn't likely. Best to defuse the situation if possible.

    Interestingly, the reason why movie zombies are faster now than they were in the past has little to do with Olympic running training.

    http://www.slate.com/id/2166665/

    Seriously though, shouldn't this thread be in the Jokes section?
     
  14. Fire-quan

    Fire-quan Banned Banned

    See, you all laughed, but all those youtube applications videos are validated at last - we've been prepared, and WELL prepared, for nothing BUT defending ourselves against zombies.... there's no shortage of material...

    [ame="http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=mS9kvVxQJpU&feature=PlayList&p=92C192427A1F1725&index=0&playnext=1"]YouTube - tai chi applications 3[/ame]

    Remember - fingers in vital spots.

    Actually, I'm not sure which one is the zombie here, but, you take your chances with al things zomby:

    [ame="http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=UYjG3j6-seY"]YouTube - George Xu Chen Tai Chi Applications[/ame]

    Over all, if you're skilled enough, THIS is how you prepare for fighting your way through zombies (he nearly takes one out in the first two seconds walking behind him):

    [ame="http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ATyfsiEG-z0"]YouTube - Daoshu Chen De Qing in Argentina[/ame]


    I particularly like the very last move - rising finger thrust up in to the soft, zomby under-chin of any potential reanimated attacker - beware brains on yournice threads though.
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2009
  15. Van Zandt

    Van Zandt Mr. High Kick

    Welcome to Sesame Street. Today's word is "partypooper" :rolleyes:
     
  16. Wadey

    Wadey Valued Member



    It's Monday morning, we all need a bit of light hearted fun. Take it as it's meant and have a few chill pills Bronze!!

    In answer to the question, I think ninjitsu is the way forward, cause I could use the ninja's mystical powers to disappear in a cloud of smoke, appear behind the zombie and snap it's head off without anyone knowing anything had happened:evil:
     
  17. CosmicFish

    CosmicFish Aleprechaunist

    Zombies DO exist. I trip over them staggering slowly back and forth along the pavements every day on my way to and from work.

    I use Capoeira to dance around them so I can get to work on time.
     
  18. axelb

    axelb Master of Office Chair Fu

    getting my inspiration from braindead:

    I'm going to have to say the best MA by far is:

    The art of MowerFu!!!
     
  19. Polar Bear

    Polar Bear Moved on

    it's gotta be german longsword! perfect for recapitating those nasty undeads.

    The Bear.
     
  20. Anth

    Anth Daft. Supporter

    Well in "World War Z" a katana is put to good use by one guy but China just pretty much disappears even with the many kinds of kung fu. The biggest threat to Z's was the cold when they literally freeze until the spring. When they're frozen you can get rid of them by any means you like. Based on that, we need to learn whatever this guy does:

    [​IMG]

    Possibly, but we need a serious moderator to move it and we don't have any of those.
     

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