Having read the post about the dude who was on holiday in Turkey, then getting attacked I thought I’d post something up. I came across an article about assault once which I found quite interesting. This article highlights the seven steps that generally occur before an assault, and the sooner you recognise the stage you’re in, the greater your chance of de-escalation of violence. Since reading I have come across one instance where I successfully managed to de-escalate a potentially violent situation...actually if I’d failed it would’ve been on! Anyway, here is a summary from what I can remember: 1. Target selection The target is selected from the candidates 2. Target assessment Here is where the aggressor checks out the behaviour of the target and verifies that he's picked a suitable target 3. Target proximity Now he has to set up an event or somehow position so that you and him will be close enough to talk and reach, just outside your personal space. e.g. blocking your exit 4. Interview Now, he will make contact and give you an "interview" to really suss you out. If you can "pass" this stage, then you have eliminated yourself as a target, otherwise it will reinforce in his mind that you're a legitimate target and is therefore your last chance to really avoid anything. What happened to me is someone in front of me in a queue turned around as I was talking to my friend (training partner) and repeated "do you know what I think?" to me after I asked that of my friend. 5. Threats Can’t quite remember what this stage was called, but basically from here you’d better be prepared to brawl because it’ll be set up so what ever you do or say will justify him attacking you. Basically here he's commited to the attack and is hoping you'll freak out and freeze. 6. Violence ... 7. Escape Having committed his dastardly deed, the bad guy seeks to escape Yeah it's a bit vague but I've got the article at home
Yea, that is pretty much how it goes! This is also what you should be learning in class, from the confrontations that are presented in class. When you test for like your belt or do something in front of the class, is to teach you how to deal with it out in the open confrontation. That is you should be learning how you emotionally function as a person. Ask yourself, do you fear this! Like having to put yourself in front of people for there criticism. If this is what put you off your game than you need to do some form of self awareness, know your limits. That is how I have always approached class. Regardless how much you know about the people in your class, you never really know what they do to get there kicks in life.
I dont really get what your getting at here , perhaps a more in depth explanation ( like the situation u got yourself into and avoided ) Also posting the article might be a better idea I was at leeds festival , cppl of weeks ago and in the middle of the night me and 3 of my mates were chilling by our tents having a laugh when i drunk man stumbled past . i turned my torch on and shone it at him which he didnt seem to like and utterd something at me .. my mate then reply by insulting him ( not the smartest thing in the world to do ) the drunk man didnt take kind to this ( no suprise ) and retaliated by asking me what i said... i thought to myself here we go .. i replied by i didnt say anything mate.. he stood about 2 tents away and was gaining slowly.. he then said well i hope one of you are carrying a blade and flicked out a knife and came towards me saying " im going to wigg you" ( guessed that ment stabb ) I was nelt dwn at the time just got something out of me tent . there was a chair in front of me which was my only defence i went to grab the chair to use as a go between ( pick up and keep him at a distance ) When he stubled over a guide rope and landed on a tent .. he got back up starred at us and then decided not to proceed, his mates (3) came running over trying to suss out the situation ( " which one , which one we gettin" ) .. " fu*k it , none he replyd" This was about to be a very dangerous situation and was de-escalated by him tripping yes but also by the fact that not one of us moved away or showed any fear , i think it would have been alot worse if one of us had tried to pleed with him or tried to do a "runner" In my eyes its hard to de-escualte a violent situation before it happens as every person is different in the head , what works on one person might just wind another up and escualte the situation, i say play it as it comes and the best thing you can do is asses the situaiton in your head and know how to defend yourself the best you can ( me about to grabb chair and keep him at bay , perhaps hit him with it )
Hey BC. Is it just me or is it ALWAYS a friend who shouts an insult? Literally everytime i've been in or heard of a dangerous situation SOMEONE has shouted an insult. Then someone else is blamed and they can hardly say "it wasn't me it was him *point at friend*" so you have to say "i didn't say anything" which in a way is an insult to the person intelligence. It's odd. First time i got "kicked in" was because some fat chick (that's right a girl) was getting in the way, and my mate TOLD (not asking) her to move (i think, i was busy falling down the stairs and brushing myself off). She then proceeded to kick him as he walked past, then she kicked my other friend, then the fat tart decided to kick me, to which I blocked/trapped and pushed up causing her to fall. Instinct. I was then jumped by 3/4 guys on a train station, i managed to keep my head during the fight and just defend only striking out 3 times at the end. Palm off, elbow strike to an arm pinning me to the wall, and headbutt to the temple to buy me a moment to run away. Another time (i wasn't there) something VERY similar to your story happened to a group of my friends. They were walking back from the garage around 11.30pm when a group of chavs threw a bottle at them and shouted some abuse. One of the group turned and shouted abuse back, one of my friends tried to silence the friend shouting abuse, and called over an apology citing drunkenness and idiocy. Didn't work sadly. They were "beaten down" not too badly hurt really but drunk was taken to hospital (knocked out on first punch to the face, if i recall correctly)
Yeah its always the case... The aftermath of my incident led me to shouting at me mate and his drunken response was laughing and you can handle yurself man... Yeah i can handle MYSELF not handle your fights for you i flet like saying ..
Aye, you're a Newcastle lad. I've got some family up there, renowned for being hard. Scouser... renowned for mugging and stealing lol. I do hate that kind of "you can handle yourself" attitude at times. People can get to thinking that that translates as some kind of defense shield, i have no idea how to protect other people from being hurt.
Yeah i fel the same i just manage to protect myself never mind other people ... i never underestimate anyone , in any situation i class the "other person" as more skilled in fighting as me ( ever since a wc lesson where i got beat dwn by a girl lol blackbelt but wasnt wearing her sash) But yeah us geordie lads are rock you wouldnt wanna mess !! ha ha :woo:
de-escalating a fight in my experience is a myth if someone wants a fight and you are his chosen target then its din ding round one.
My teeth aren't even glass, it's that fake glass which melts in a light wind and hot breath.... my skull is alright, whenever people have "nutted" me i've been alright and they haven't been that willing to do it again. Agreed with Madmoose, if the conversation with an attacker starts it's over. Just run or attack him IMO, call is Self Defense and based on fear. I've never managed to talk my way out: Confidence = more people joining in Cowardice = getting kicked in and more people joining in It's a bit different in pubs or whatever, as they don't tend to be trying to mug/harm you, they are just a bit annoyed for whatever reason.
I don't necessarily agree that you always fail the interview. I have had a few situations (in college mostly) where something was about to start but, ultimately did not after a short conversation. One example: While in college (back when dinosaurs roamed freely) my friend and I were at a bar/club at some nearby college town with a group of friends and we were pretty drunk. I am a relatively big guy and my friend is the opposite. I had him on my shoulders and we were goofing around but, not antagonizing anyone or bumping/blocking anyone. After a few minutes some guy and two of his buddies come up to me (and my friend still on my shoulders) and says something along the lines of "I'm going to kick your ass." I simply looked at him with a blank face and said "Is there a problem here?" He stared at me for about 3-5 seconds and then said "No", turned and walked away. That was it. I've had a few others that were similar. Where I was minding my own business but, someone took a dislike to me for whatever reason. They walked up and said something confrontational and my blank, even bored, reply seemed to make them reassess. It doesn't always work but, I've had multiple experiences where it has.
I'm no pro, but the objective of the interview is for the attacker to suss out his victim. Therefore, it's all about projecting that there are easier people to pick on. So what you say and how you say it. Your body language needs to be confident. You need to show that you're aware of what's going on around you, and that you can react, run or fight back. Keeping a good distance, speaking loudly and clearly. At this stage, he's probably uising stuff like "what's the time?", "got a dollar?", "do you know where xxx is?" and your reaction will either make them look for an easier target or go to step 5 and start threatening you perhaps verbally and/or physically. Actually, there was a time in central when an aboriginal wanted to "borrow" money from me and I said no, haven't got any. Anyway, he puts his hand on my chest, and repeats so i've stopped, and the first thing that's gone through my head is "Perfect! Text book application of wrist lock number 1!!", but instead I just looked at him and repeated "No, mate I've got no money" taken a step back and just watched him. Anyway that example I used above was when the guy turned around, I spoke to him, eye contact, hand gestures and a quick touch to his arm to say "it's ok" kinda thing...turned out to be a great guy For the other guy the posted above, i'm not sure how it would work if you/your friend was the one who done the insulting...that's straight to step 5 I think
it just strange that you can say you sopped an attacker from attacking you by answering his question, if he was going to attack you im pretty sure that you answering his question in whatever way you do isnt going to make him change his mind. If he is going to attack you then he is going to attack you ! Perhaps like in previously posted he says he going to kick your ass then you reply blankly and he walks away , this just seems to me like he was beign all mouth and never had any intention of attacking you . Dunno if this post makes sense To sum up if someone wants to attack you they will , otherwise there just trying to sound hard ( IMO )
You can talk your way out of someone who is going to attack you - maybe through confidence, or, as I used to do many times, out of confusion or a reason for them not to attack you. e.g. give me your money or I'll punch you in the face: this gives you 2 options in their opinion, either way they win - they get your money or they beat you up. As a kid who was rubbish at fights and had little money I quickly developed ways to get out of these situations. One I remember was using confusion to them: "I only have this money of a packet of crisp token - here" walk off. another - they would usually be in a group: You get the 'leader' come and threaten you. You then acknowledge one of them behind you and ignore this 'leader' - "Alright mate, how's it going, haven't seen you for years - how's the Mrs" walk past walk off. I've even done that on the person who was the attacker/leader, that confused the hell out of him, especially as I knew of him and where he lived - "don't you remember me, I used to come to yours on a saturday at xyz drive" both worked for me just as well, because I didn't have much option those days as I was not much of a fighter. They usually aren't intellegent enough to deal with confusion. The other I rarely used - was a reason not to: You attack me and I'll find you; I've seen you round here all the time; There's plenty of witneses around here; What, you're going to hit me with that cop car just there - point (thats more distraction). just a few ways to pass the 'interview' as such.
It is hard to say if you have truly talked someone down or not because you cannot be 100% sure of whats in their head, but I think yes there is a chance you can change someones mind about wanting to fight you. Think of it like this, how do you feel in a confrontation when you think its about to go physical? Theres a fair chance that theres a nice old fight or flight response happening isnt there? Well someone whose been looking for a fight will have been experiencing adrenal release for a while leading up to the vicitm selection so there is a good chance the same chemicals are running round his body too. Even for people experienced in these games its not always a simple decision to hit someone or not.
