Would you defend yourself if...

Discussion in 'Self Defence' started by Taiyaki_MMM, Feb 28, 2007.

  1. Taiyaki_MMM

    Taiyaki_MMM New Member

    You knew there was a good chance that even though you would be able to stand up to your assailant, he would soon be back for "revenge" with a bunch of his buddies helping him out, too?

    Thing is, I'm in high school now, so the chances of me getting into a fight at some time soon are probably at higher than any other time they will be during my life. Though I'm sure I could handle anyone who tries to hurt me, the thing I'm mostly worried about is them getting a bunch of their friends to gang up on me later, then people stand up for me in return, and the whole thing escalates into a mini-war.

    So, do I stand up for myself, or just take the punches and let them go on their way?

    Telling teachers or the authorities wont do much good either, because the "friends getting revenge on me" deal would still go into effect.
     
  2. Lily

    Lily Valued Member

    Taiyaki, I know someone young in a similar situation to you.

    I'd first say avoid violence. Maybe you can give us a background of why this has started? How old are you...do you have many friends at school? Have you told an adult?
     
  3. g-bells

    g-bells Don't look up!

    avoid it if possible but you always need to stand up for yourself or you will let people s$$t on you for the rest of your life. if it comes down to it ,defend yourself, and deal with the rest later. your safety is the most important factor.
     
  4. BlindClown

    BlindClown tinit

    Like perviously posted , avoid violence !

    i know what you mean though there are lots of kids hanging round in groups thinking they are unstoppable.

    I say defend yourself if they come back with more people you can always run ;) or defend yourself best as poss , everyone in life has to loose at least one fight .


    but best option is to not fight at all if it doesnt start it cant end with u getting hurt.
     
  5. Patrick_baji

    Patrick_baji Valued Member

    Since I'm in high school as well and know all too well what you're talking about I'd definately say try and talk your way out of it first. If all you gotta do is say one word (sorry?) and it makes 10 guys go away why not do it. But as a last resort if you're really gonna get attacked - what are martial arts for? Defend yourself to the best of your ability.
     
  6. Moosey

    Moosey invariably, a moose Supporter

    Another thing to remember is that a lot of the pushing around in high school is to do with trying to get "alpha" status. If someone loses a fight with you and then has to get a bunch of their mates involved, they look like a pussy who can't stand up for themselves. Most real bullies wouldn't want that loss of face.
     
  7. fruitjuice!

    fruitjuice! Banned Banned

    I find these decisions are always easier if you're desensitised to brawling. The answer is obvious, that is to stick up for yourself, keep your pride and fight those who fight you regardless of consequences, it is only fear of being hurt, losing and what society will think of you (or punish you for) that makes one believe their is a better solution. That's my opinion anyway.
     
  8. Cuchulain4

    Cuchulain4 Valued Member

    watch rumble in the bronx.
     
  9. Tommy-2guns...

    Tommy-2guns... southpaw glassjaw

    read geoff thompsons dead or alive book, it pretty good on the this subject matter and any other self defence subject matter i feel.

    but anyway what your experience is pre-post fight fear, this is outlined on the adrenal based fear map a good many RBSD systems use, by this it means any fear before a confrontation that is to do with what will happen after the event.

    many name fighters never have to fight because their revenge attack reputation is so high, they loose,they do a guy and then people learn just to be submissive and backdown through fear of retalitory action.

    however, often the case is, the threatening of a revenge attack is a last ditch attempt to save face after a beating, the chances of the averadge man returning to fight and possibly be beat again are slim at best.this is generally the case however gangs may be different as they have a more of a collective ego.

    but id advise you if you were in this situation ,to avoid,dissaude and diffuse the situation by any means available,these are common sense not the acts of a coward, but if it all goes badly and you have to be physcial, you really need to dispel all negative thoughts , this is known as the thought-counter attack, in the pre fight ritual stages, your in code orange(learn colour codes!), your mind and body is getting pumped with adrenaline and other chemcial cocktails, the last thing you need in this already traumatic situation is to A) have your mind on the future which may/may not happen B) interpret the resultant thinking of this plus the adrenal signs as fear.

    so focus on the task at hand as his mind wont be on revenge attacks, his mind in a fight will be about fighting,revenge attacks come as an after thought really. so you dont want to be standing there, face looking all worried, mind clogged with endless approximations and guesswork about the confromntation and excess fear, handle whats infront of you now.

    hell think about what to do next after the fight, so should you. many fighters have taken a beating from lesser men simply due to fear of retaliation, and the kicking you stop yourself having now, is much more a priority than what you are guessing a beaten man and his friends will do later down the line.
    your mind needs be on the task at hand,you need to be aware!, of course acknowladge that a reprecussion may happen but that should be the last thing on your mind at the time.

    after all is said and done in the fight, you should again go back to resorting to your awareness and avoidance, perhaps consider bringing the law into the situation,awareness is your best weapon revenge attack or no revenge attack.
     
  10. Smitfire

    Smitfire Cactus Schlong

    How people in America deal with this kind of thing where a revenge attack could involve having a gun pulled on you is beyond me.
    Getting a ****ting off a couple of lads because you hit their mate is one thing.
    Having a guy you beat up shoot you the next day is another.
    Not an easy situation at all.
     
  11. Taiyaki_MMM

    Taiyaki_MMM New Member


    Well I'm 15 and have an average amount of friends, but I'm not talking about a specific predicament I happen to be in right now. This thread is purely about a "what-if?" situation.
     
  12. Cathain

    Cathain Lily Lau Gar

    There was once an infamous Glasgow gangster who said that if you inflicted injuries on a few people, they would soon learn to leave you alone.
    I don't mean to suggest that you go about randomly assaulting people :)
    His point was that if people know that you are prepared to fight and that you aren't afraid then they will generally think twice before taking you on.

    Many years ago my friends run afoul of one guy and his friends
    The guy himself was smaller & younger than us but he usually carried a knife, travelled with packs of his friends, was a troublemaker and his family were known for violence and being in jail. Anyway, it got to the stage where intimidation turned into theft and he brazenly decided he was "borrowing" one of my mate's stereos and some CD's. Of course, no-one stopped him.
    But the next week he came down with only one or two friends and started again. One of my other mates decided that he'd had enough. He was being harrassed by the bully when suddenly he headbutted him several times before kicking the crap out of him. The bully's two pals stood looking on in shock, but not getting involved.

    My friend decided to lay low for a few weeks as chances were the bully's friends, or worse - his brothers, would be looking for him. After that, he socialised outside as normal. When he eventually met the bully again, the latter never said a word about it and never picked on him again

    This same friend wasn't afraid to stand up to most people.
    It was a risky strategy but seemed to pay off for him.

    I think you need to tread a fine line with most people.
    Don't show off as if "I'm a MA and I can take anyone".
    You'll probably get people wanting to challenge you then. But at the same time, don't let anyone think you are an easy target. You won't be bullied & if they want to threaten you then they'll have to make good on their threats. That will put off most bullies as it's less risky for them just to call your bluff. Most don't want to be humiliated by the possibility of being beaten up by their "victim".

    Of course, if they are seriously outnumbering you or they are completely mental, then best to run & fight another day.
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2007
  13. marttae

    marttae Valued Member

    If he said sorry he would be called a sissy.
    Defend your self and if his "group" were to come for you hopefulloy you got freinds that would back you up.
    but never just let someone beat you up.
     
  14. 2ndchance

    2ndchance Valued Member


    If you're not already in a bad situation and you have MA experience, you prolly won't run into a problem in the first place. Usually, if you carry yourself with a sense of confidence (not cockiness) most bullies will avoid you. Bullies USUALLY target the easy, wimpy kid with no friends and no self confidence. I've noticed that I'm using the word "usually" a lot. That's because there is no set of rules to cover this kind of situation. You really just have to do what feels right at the time and deal with the consequences later.

    Before I started taking MA I got beat up at school. Even though I didn't retaliate and I didn't report it, the attackers were suspended. They came back and did it again thinking that it was me who reported them. I was pretty nervous about going to school after that. Then when I started taking MA lessons, my confidence increased and I never had another problem with them. My personal experience is that confidence is the key...usually. :rolleyes:
     
  15. Jaybird

    Jaybird New Member

    simply no one has a right to violate you in any way physically and you have the the god given right to defend yourself . But if it can be avoided that is most likely the best situation . But as far as someone put it "pride:" thats one of the most common phrases on headstones John smith died defending his families honor. you have to pick and choose your battles and you will find that never changes through out your entire life not only in fights get married and someday you will really understand the meaning of fighting a losing battle :bang: Use your head before you use your fists
     
  16. JayKayD

    JayKayD Meet my friend PAIN!

    Bite the guys nose off. No one messes with you if you're renowned for biting people's noses off.
     
  17. medi

    medi Sadly Passed Away - RIP



    Um. No it's not.
     
  18. Rin

    Rin Valued Member

    Heh, guess this is the time to test your friends' loyalties. When I was in highschool not too many people fought 1 on 1, everyone was in their little cliques and they fought group vs group. Gun's weren't that big a issue though, since we had metal detectors at the door and city policeman patrolling the hall ways.
    I never really considered someone a friend until they backed me up when we were at a disadvantage. To me a friend really isn't a friend unless they'd be willing to get hurt with you. So I say defend yourself as much as you can, even if you do get beat up heh. Believe me it's better than not standing up for yourself.
     
  19. ShadowHunter

    ShadowHunter Living the Dream

    - Taken from an instructor.
     
  20. edd1

    edd1 Valued Member

    yes, firts thing you need to remember is that 99% of all come backs dont happen. Just idiots trying to make them selves look good. I have lost count of the amount of times that my life has been threatend whilst working as a club doorman (thats british PC for bouncer).
    Secondally, despite what i have juist said, dont take unnessessary risks. Avoid trouble spots, try not to walke alone down dark streets, etc. Lock car doors when ever you get in, etc. Theres nothing wrong with healthy paranoia.
    You always have the option of involving the police.
     

Share This Page