Why does this keep happening to me?

Discussion in 'Boxing' started by Hapuka, Jun 17, 2010.

  1. Hapuka

    Hapuka Te Aho

    Well, tonight I failed myself. Again.

    How? I got winded, again.
    I was paired up with a rather stocky lad and I was asked to box him.
    I love sparring, but anyways after getting in a few strikes and blocking a some good hooks to the head, *BANG!* the next minute I knew I was on the floor. The wind taken out of me and shocked. He landed a good solid rip to my solar plexus. He helped my off the ground and I stumbled out of the ring. I put my hands to my head and started crying."NOT AGAIN!" I thought to myself while trying to control myself. It was just too much. My trainer came up to me and I asked "Why does this keep happening to me? Why? What do I keep doing wrong?" My opponent came up to me and apologized. I told him it wasn't his fault. The head trainer came up to me.
    I said to him that I was a terrible fighter. He told me that wasn't true and that I have allot of promise, my other trainer agreed. However my trainer said to me that I would never get hurt again. I asked him how, and said that I was to never set another foot into the ring.
    This crushed me. He then said to me that I was a good kid and that he doesn't want to see me get hurt. So, no sparring for a few months or until I can prove to him otherwise.

    I feel like that I have failed myself and turned myself into a drama queen.
    The head trainers wife told me that It takes guts to step into the ring. Something that most women would and could never do. She told me that there is nothing to be ashamed by and that I should hold my head up high with pride.
    Easy to say, very hard to accept. But I was humbled by the comments given to me. My trainers said that they are on my side and that they want the best for me. I still feel very ashamed with myself.

    How am I supposed to get better If I can't fight?
     
  2. tkd GU

    tkd GU Valued Member

    You're banned from entering a ring? I think it's time for you to find a new trainer.
     
  3. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

    Well if you're going to cry after taking a punch he's not going to risk that happening in the ring for your sake and his reputation.
    Work hard and don't worry about getting caught and winded and you'll get a shot at a fight but you will have to show him you can handle the pressure and the pain.
    The trainers wife is right you don't get that many girls stepping into the ring but that's not to say you can't be one of them. More training!
     
  4. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

    Maybe. I've seen many fantastic martial artists just fold when the enter a ring. It's not for everyone
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2010
  5. kilat02

    kilat02 Valued Member

    maby with the best intentions, I know the cause of your failure in the fight.
    you let your emotions go too much.
    the fact that you were crying when you were beaten (I assume not because it ached)but because it hurts your credit. tells me that your emotions take the best of you. keeping your emotions under control in combat is very important you probaly lost your focus when the emotion of winning took the best of you.
    get your emotions under control! and get back in that ring!
    I know your trainer has the best intentions for your safty but crawling back togheter and getting back in the fight shows character!
    if you dont you will always regret it!

    I myself had also an injury sustained during training (a hard low kick on my knee) it felt almost paralyzed. but the MAS (teacher) did not help me up
    insted He said that my next traning would be getting up on my own strenght.
    I walked the rest of the training in pain but I did it anyway.
    some people will say that he is a bad teacher by not helping his student, but I know he helped me in the future to teach me to get up own my own power.

    give a man a fish and feed him for a day, teach a man how to fish and feed him for a life time.
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2010
  6. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

    .....apart from which you got winded by someone much bigger than you. No shame in that. It hurts but a grimace and a groan should suffice. If you do cry, don't stop fighting
     

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  7. Hapuka

    Hapuka Te Aho

    I don't want to stop or give up, thats the last thing I want to do. If I give up, I'll never get better.
     
  8. Johnno

    Johnno Valued Member

    Maybe it would be a good idea to take a step back and think really hard about why you end up in tears when something like this happens. Don't just think about it though, make a written list of everything that comes to mind.

    Leave it for a few days, then sit down and go through the list, analysing each point. Cross off any which don't ring true.

    Now you've got something concrete to work with, rather than just a mess of thoughts swirling round in your head, which is what I'm guessing you have going on right now.

    You aren't going to deal with your emotions getting in the way until you fully understand where they are coming from. And until you can cope with those emotions in the ring, then it sounds like your coach isn't going to let you spar again.

    In the meantime, keep training hard, and focus on why you want to box. If it really is something important to you then don't give up, because it might bug you for a very long time. But it sounds like you've reached a bit of an impasse for some reason, so I suggest trying a different approach to whatever you've done about the problem so far.

    Hope that makes sense.

    The best of luck to you.
     
  9. Hapuka

    Hapuka Te Aho

    I agree with Johnno, that the problem is an psychological one, which for me makes the problem much more bigger and frustrating.

    Where do I begin with something like this? Its like looking up at Mount Everest.
     
  10. Polar Bear

    Polar Bear Moved on

    They bottomline is that you are soft. The reason you get upset is because you don't like being soft.
    There is only one cure of softness ... conditioning.
    Psychological profiles and emotional heart to hearts aren't going to solve jack. Your trainer is right, you simply aren't up to the condition required for sparring. So the only choice you need to make is are you willing to step up to the level of conditioning or walk away.

    The Bear.
     
  11. Hapuka

    Hapuka Te Aho

    Of course I want to step up to the plate.
    I just need to know what needs to be done in order for me to become more conditioned. I know practice will teach me what I need to do psychically, but mentally its a completely different ball game.
    How can I condition the mind so its up to sparring?
     
  12. Polar Bear

    Polar Bear Moved on

    The mental comes with the physical. The more you endure in conditioning the more you can take in sparring. TRAIN TO YOUR LIMITS. Train until you are past exhaustion and everything hurts. This will build your fighting spirit.

    The Bear.
     
  13. Johnno

    Johnno Valued Member

    Agreed - that's why I said 'train hard'.

    But the same applies to the mind as to the body. If you don't know where the weaknesses lie then you can't correct them.
     
  14. Simon

    Simon Administrator Admin Supporter MAP 2017 Koyo Award

    I have to question your coach. Sure stepping into the ring takes guts, but sparring is about learning and respect. The idea is your partner should push you 5-10% more than you are used to in order to get you to raise your game.

    Are you getting tips on sparring and do you feel you are being taken through different stages.

    For example stage 1 might be technique sparring where you can only use a jab.
    Stage 2 might be condition sparring. The coach sets the conditions which must not be broken. The conditions might be boxer a attacks and boxer b defends.
    Stage 3 could be open sparring.

    There would also be beginner, intermediate and expert levels in all of the different stages I have outlines and if you are not being taken through these stages look elsewhere.
     
  15. holyheadjch

    holyheadjch Valued Member

    If being punched makes you cry (sounds like a well-evolved defence mechanism to me), then the only way to stop crying when you get punched is to get punched more often.

    Only you can decide if you've failed. I'm not really big on the notion that a "Positive Mental Attitude" leads to success, but I have no doubts that a 'Negative Mental Attitude' leads only to failure.
     
  16. kilat02

    kilat02 Valued Member

    I gotta agree with the others you should chance your fighting mentality
    the "fight or flee" instinct this is one of the basic goals of martial art
    to increase your self-respect, confidance and most important staying calm in a fight.:meditate:and I will bet that your fighting skill will increase if you chance that mentality :fight1:
     
  17. Hapuka

    Hapuka Te Aho


    I do feel that sometimes I am thrown into the ring without knowledge on how to defend myself with confidence. My trainer does watch me spar and will stop the match if he spots something wrong with my technique.
    What I would really like from my trainer though is to do more mitt work so I can build up confidence with techniques, I am hoping that he will spend more time with me on the mitts, now that I am taking a break from sparring.

    I am getting tips on sparring, however I get paired up with all sorts of people.
    I don't sparring with other new students because it feels like a duel to the death. I don't like sparring with intermediate leveled students because I feel like that I am being used as a moving punching bag.
    The only techniques I have been taught and that I have been told to use in all of my sparring matches is the jab, the cross and guard.
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2010
  18. kilat02

    kilat02 Valued Member

    was that a sarcastic comment? :rolleyes:
     
  19. Kuma

    Kuma Lurking about

    The Bear speaks wisely in his two posts (and that's not me being biased because he is another fellow ursine).

    Take it from me. In the beginning stages of my boxing days I never dropped due to a head shot but due to body shots. One of the best defenses against body shots is building up your midsection to take tough shots. Start researching various midsection training routines, find one you like that covers all the bases, and start doing it several times a week. Once you've build your midsection up some, a simple 8lb medicine ball and a friend will help you loads from there.
     
  20. Johnno

    Johnno Valued Member

    But I'd guess that you never burst into tears, right? That's her issue, as I'm reading it. All the training advice in the world (good as it is) isn't going to stop her crying when she gets beaten. She needs to deal with that, or else she won't be sparring again, and all the training in the world won't change a thing. (Except to make her fitter and stronger, which is no bad thing in itself - but she wants to box.)
     

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