What would you do if your coach dissed you?

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by u6s68, Jul 17, 2014.

  1. u6s68

    u6s68 Valued Member

    We do ab work on the mats at our cardio for boxing class. I've only been three times and I took the first mat. The remaining 6 or 7 fell down (they are stacked against each other). I remembered then that the coach held the mats in place the previous two weeks. Anyway he seemed kind of annoyed so I said sorry and that I would pick them up.

    He likes us to get to work fast and proceeded to sharply say "leave it!" Followed by a few expletives and I thought I heard the words "lazy" and "donkey" in there but I could not be sure.

    I did as I was told but I was half miffed and half p33d off about it.

    Maybe he has some bad stuff going on at home but I will just give him the benefit of the doubt and carry on training hard.

    Just wondered what you guys would do?
     
  2. Bozza Bostik

    Bozza Bostik Antichrist on Button Moon

    If someone working in a shop called you lazy and a donkey, would you go back to that shop? In my opinion, it's no different. You're not just a student, you're also a customer and you don't speak to customers that way. You shouldn't speak to students that way either.

    Of course, he could have had a smile on his face when he said it.

    I quit a club a year or so back for a few reasons, one of them was I felt that instructor was patronizing and had too big an ego.

    If he definitely said it and it wasn't banter, I wouldn't go back.
     
  3. Ero-Sennin

    Ero-Sennin Well-Known Member Supporter

    I prefer that type of training partner or coaching, so I would probably stay. I tend to get motivated by insults, and internally I'm also really critical of myself.

    That's not for everyone though. I've worked out with a few people who I've ended up coaching/training a bit because they weren't as well versed as I am, but I've always asked if they are responsive to that kind of stimulus. I learned to do this after either my little brother or somebody else (can't recall, this was years ago) got really moody with me after saying something mean to them while training. In your situation that would have been one of the hardest sets of crunches I would have done ever in that class. You have to prove you're not a lazy donkey now! :)p)

    Different strokes for different folks though. The guy might just be a jerk, either way it wouldn't bother me much but if that's not the way you like to be coached then don't put up with it.
     
  4. 47MartialMan

    47MartialMan Valued Member

    I would have yelped out "HEE HAW"
     
  5. Pretty In Pink

    Pretty In Pink Moved on MAP 2017 Gold Award

    I hate that personally. I love professionalism and respond to true criticisms rather than false ones. I respond best to encouragement and honest encouragement, such as "you need to push!" When I'm slacking.
     
  6. YouKnowWho

    YouKnowWho Valued Member

    One time I trained outdoor under the hot summer sun. I found a shady area under the tree. My teacher made the comment, "a rich family kid tries to train MA." Today I look back. He was right and I was wrong.
     
  7. Bozza Bostik

    Bozza Bostik Antichrist on Button Moon

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Nvdh0FMzr0"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Nvdh0FMzr0[/ame]
     
  8. Saved_in_Blood

    Saved_in_Blood Valued Member

    I wouldn't go back again. You're there to learn... if his mats are an issue, maybe he should do something else with them.

    It also doesn't matter what he has going on at home... if home life isn't good then he needs to stay home and get it straight and not take it out on his students, and calling you names? Come on. Get rid of that guy.
     
  9. Heraclius

    Heraclius BASILEVS Supporter

    Personally, I'd say give it a bit longer if you've only been 3 times. He could be a great guy and a great coach with a bit of a temper. Or he might just be a jerk. I'd say give it a bit of time to decide which it is. Then again, you're under no obligation to stay if you don't like it.
     
  10. belltoller

    belltoller OffTopic MonstreOrdinaire Supporter

  11. aaradia

    aaradia Choy Li Fut and Yang Tai Chi Chuan Student Moderator Supporter

    Me? I would leave. I don't pay someone to treat me badly.

    Pretty much what Lily Sunshine said........
     
  12. belltoller

    belltoller OffTopic MonstreOrdinaire Supporter

    If the OP leaves the impression at his school that he's actually auditioning for the main part in "Mr. Bean Goes to Boxing School" rather than a serious student more often than not, he's not likely to perform better under that kind of criticism; in fact, he will more than likely become so uptight for fear of making a blunder that he becomes essentially paralyzed.

    I'm sure you saw examples of that in Basic.

    If that be the case, I'd wager that OP is already maxing out crunches and the like in an effort to please his instructors.

    I.e., he may be trying too hard already.

    Of course, I don't have reason to think that based on anything the OP's said, but one has to think through common reasons for seemingly odd, out of line reactions to people.
     
  13. LemonSloth

    LemonSloth Laugh and grow fat!

    Yeah, what that coach did was just lazy aggression, which really doesn't work. There really is nothing wrong with criticism as long as it's productive but that kind of thing isn't helpful for most people. Especially for someone who was in their 3rd/4th lesson.

    EDIT: As for me...I'd probably just shrug it off and get on with the training on that occasion. As u6s68 said, he could have some crap going on we don't know about. If it kept going though, I'd definitely have to re-evaluate how much I'd be getting out of the training.
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2014
  14. Rhythmkiller

    Rhythmkiller Animo Non Astutia

    I think respect has to come from both parties and unless the comments were tongue in cheek i'd leave.

    It's quite simple for me, he makes a living off of you, not the other way around, when you are familiar with him then you may allow him to make those kind of comments. At only your 3rd session it smacks of arrogance that he thinks he can say these things and expect you to accept it.

    Personaly for me i'd simply walk up and say "congratualtions you just lost a customer".

    Start the way you mean to finish so they say. It sounds like your instructor has.

    Baza
     
  15. u6s68

    u6s68 Valued Member

    I agree. Also a bit of tough love does me no harm. For example, I was sparring with a seasoned boxer and this same coach told him to take it light. I was holding back hitting the guy,mainly because I was gassed within one minute.

    He was p33d I was doing that so he told the guy I was sparring to "punish him if he's slow". There was no malice in it and the guy I was sparring with just picked up the pace and started throwing more, still at around 10% power.

    I was fine with that. It sets the standard clearly if I want to hang with these guys.

    I just reckon berating someone for a mistake, even after they apologise and say they will put it right is below the belt.
     
  16. u6s68

    u6s68 Valued Member

    This is what I intend to do. I have nothing against the guy and he was friendly before this last session. I plan on turning up next week, training harder, banking a little more progress and getting that dirt off my shoulder.

    However if the situation reoccurred I'm off.
     
  17. Unreal Combat

    Unreal Combat Valued Member

    Maybe he was just being playful and you took it the wrong way. I couldn't imagine any instructor going out of their way to be meaningfully insulting towards their students.

    Instead of jumping the gun why don't you talk to him about it. At least that way you know where you truly stand.
     
  18. Ero-Sennin

    Ero-Sennin Well-Known Member Supporter

    Don't bring up basic! Lily Sunshine won't have any of that. :p

    I tend to call people who act like Mr. Bean "goobers." I don't think any kind of criticism or motivation will get them on board and on track in the right direction. I don't get that from the OP from other posts on MAP, but you never know. :p

    People who respond well to being berated maliciously, or can shrug it off like it's nothing are not the norm. from my experiences. Basic training in my particular branch of the military opened my eyes to this. I've seen plenty of guys cry or have emotional meltdowns and outbursts. Hell, I even broke down once in infantry school but I was bordering on heat stroke at the time and nearly passing out. I shot an instructor with a paintball round after they said "cease fire" (like, 45 seconds AFTER they said cease fire) because I was delirious and couldn't make sense of any commands. I got yelled at good for that, but I was excused for it down the line due to having to get a "silver bullet" and a ton of ice thrown on me to cool me off (I think I had a 104 core temp.. I get emotional when I catch heat exhaustion, what can I say?

    Nothing like a corpsman who does MMA and weighs 250lbs of straight muscle giving you the "silver bullet" (this is taking your temperature rectally). Dude is used to people fighting him off due to the shame of the event, and he literally pinned me down (I wasn't fighting! :cry:) by the neck with his knee in the back of a HMMWV to do it.

    Imagine if THAT happened in a martial arts class. :p
     
  19. Saved_in_Blood

    Saved_in_Blood Valued Member

    I cannot speak for the rest of the world, I live in one small part of it of course. I have 2 boxing coaches who are spoken highly of. Both of which were to far for me to go to train (at least an hour each way and more likely 1 hour 15 minutes)with, oddly enough both of them were extremely arrogant. One guy basically talked about how his fighter is going to do this and that... and if so, that's great and I wish the fighter good luck. The trainer however needs to remember that he's just the trainer... he helps develop talent, but the fighter has to actually HAVE the talent and put in the work

    Anyway, both of the coaches I spoke with said that there's a lot of guys who claim that they box or once did, but that it's mostly a lie. That boxing is a small world now and most of the guys they would have heard of in the sense of local fighters.

    I think a lot of boxing coaches have become real primadonnas since the likes of Oscar, Floyd, Manny, etc. Then you look at the trainers such as Roach and Floyd Sr... they're arrogant. Roach got kicked by Ariza because he couldn't handle the fact that Rios' team had just as much right to be there as he did, but that was not his gym. Freddie has been quite known to be the guy who has to have everything his way and Floyd Sr also thinks he's the best at everything. He's not as good as his son ever was, and he's not that great of a trainer for others, though his work with Floyd Jr. of course is a different story, and then you have Freddie Roach, who has a lot of accomplishments, but was actually announced in his last fight as Ruslan Provodnikov's trainer (a fight that he lost)... what's that all about? I have never heard a trainer introduced like that in my life that I recall anyway.

    I said that to say this... boxing is the "all American" type of fighting sport, kicks and BJJ and all of that isn't looked fondly upon in the boxing world, and because of the arrogance that come from it, I do not regret one bit not getting into it. People ask what you do and you say boxing and it's ohhh and ahhh, tell them Muay Thai or San Shou KB and they are like??? duh what? Only since UFC became popular have they heard the term. Most boxing coaches are also unaware that their fighters would get absolutely destroyed by a MT,BJJ, etc. practitioner of equal experience, but they don't want to talk about that.

    I, of course love boxing and always will. I don't think it's a "dying" sport like most try to claim if you look at PPV's for boxing vs. UFC, but I'm glad that you don't see MT gyms on every corner like you do many other MA's... even BJJ is becoming a sport that is getting taught by guys who are less than qualified and to quick to pass out belts.

    My advice is if you love boxing, then try to find a more humble coach... even if you have to work in his backyard... otherwise I'd look into another combat sport.
     
  20. Pretty In Pink

    Pretty In Pink Moved on MAP 2017 Gold Award

    I don't particularly like that either. Unless you're preparing for a fight, going at your own pace is fine.
     

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