What is dangerous and should you take chances if you have responsibilities?

So I came home today and for about the 5th time in 12 months have taken a tumble of a horse. I am 47 and have two secondary school age kids to look after. I came back home with two black eyes and no skin on my nose and my father told me I should give up horse riding before I did myself serious injury that I have responsibilities and I am no longer young. To my annoyance my boyfriend told me the same thing on the phone. I wear a riding helmet (which I am replacing tomorrow - first time I've ever killed one outright), thick leather chaps and a body protector (though not a gas powered inflating one).

So what is dangerous and are they right? I could be mown down by a number 23 mounting the pavement every time I go shopping, should I not get on an aircraft, should I not do MA and get put on the deck every so often. Should I be more aware of responsibilities and at what age do you know it's time to give up something you love?

 

Everything is dangerous. Getting on the internet is dangerous. Listening to the advice of others on a martial arts forum is dangerous. Not paying your bookie in time is dangerous.

I know your husband robbed you from the crib, so you are at least 21 years old. When we were younger, we could recover from injury quicker than as we get older. Plus the urge to experience and do crazy things seemed more like a good idea at the time.

I think you are accepting that you need to adapt with age, do things differently. You also know that if you were with a group and someone was seriously hurt in the woods and there was one wild horse, you might be the most prepared to ride that horse into town to get help. Dangerous, yes, something you must do, yes.

My point is that you should consider the risks and be reasonable. However, my bigger point is that when you accept that you can't do things the same as before, with that you don't give up your dreams. Instead, figure out what you have to do and still keep that edge. What is the minimum horse riding and in what conditions do you still ride so that you don't lose that edge.

When you lose that edge, that is when fear can creep in. IMHO. Don't live in fear, face your fears.

 

i dont know if i want to have kids and i was doubtful about even starting a relationship because i want to work in some of the world's most dangerous cities and i couldnt think f dragging anyone else with me... but its the dilemma of giving up something you love for someone you love, either way you'll be unhappy

Ya adulthood!

 

Isn't horse riding one of the most dangerous sports?
Much more dangerous than martial arts, footy or even rugger?
David Nutt compared "Equasty" (horse riding) to taking "ecstasy" because horse riding is more dangerous.
Personally speaking I don't even fancy standing near half a ton of skittish muscle with metal feet let alone getting on top of the damn thing, kicking it in the ribs and then trying to steer it around the place. That seems like madness to me.
That said....falling off 5 times in a year seems like quite a lot of accidents? Is that normal? Is that an expected average? So you'll fall off 5 times next year too?
That seems like the risk versus reward ratio is starting to lean very firmly towards "risk" rather than "reward". I'd have to REALLY love horse riding to put up with that.

 

I'd suggest your bit, although still important is done now. They're listening to other people now

 

An interesting set of responses - thank you all. The history to the horse riding is that it was something I did regularly until I was about 20, then I owned 2 foals, raised them, trained them and rode them did it to a greater or lesser degree due to time commitments until 5 or 6 years ago. I mentioned on another thread that I hadn't been successful in teaching my kids to ride. As my horses were getting on I then did very little for about 4 year, but when I finally could afford to let the kids go to riding school I sat on the sidelines for about 2 weeks and then asked the riding school if I could join in. I have lessons with them once every two weeks for the last 2 years. Usually in the ménage (confined riding area), I walk, trot, canter pop the odd small jump.- nothing too tremendous, but I love it. I think I've just been unlucky, I've come off over a jump when a horse dropped his head (horses fault), lost my seat at the canter before I got my muscles back (my fault), been bucked off the biggest horse (all 60" of him) at the canter (horses fault, don't know why he did it - it was completely out of character), been wiped off at the walk when I failed to steer away from a gate post (my fault) and yesterday when the horse tripped over at the canter - it may have been the surface he was on - it could have slipped with the rain in it (just one of those things - I don't blame the horse or myself - he was going great at the time). So I think it's only as dangerous as my own stupidity - there are fewer unexplained incidents. However, this morning I am sporting a swollen face, semi closed eyes and sore shoulders and neck - I'll get better, but I suppose it could have been worse - how much notice should I take - should I replace the riding hat?

 

Aren't these sorts of accidents where the phrase 'getting back in the saddle' comes from?

I been training in Parkour and martial arts since I was about 13. 14 years and a couple kids later I still am. My missus' favourite phrase is 'it's your own stupid fault, just don't let the kids copy your mistakes'.

Haven't a clue about horses or riding (here in the good ol' Black Country we only ever see them tethered up on a field somewhere or by the cut [canal]) but I think you may have just had a spell of bad luck.

As for your age, it shouldn't really be an issue. Damage is damage no matter what age you are. The only things that really show with age are recovery rates. Almost everything else (ability, reaction, proprioception etc) can be well trained and maintained.

As a parkour practitioner I've trained with people who are now going into or already into their forties. It's a high impact, high stress activity and these guys are moving and acting in ways that defy ageism. If you have a real passion for something then live it. Having responsibilities is fine but would you want to be that mom that strives to do difficult things and inspires her kids or the one that gave up?

 

Maybe I should have mentioned - in terms of getting back in the saddle - once I had ascertained that all bits of me were probably still communicating with all other bits of me I bent by glasses back into shape, and, to reassure the poor horse that it wasn't his fault and to reassure me, I got back on him and cantered him back around the same corner. Apparently I looked a bit fearsome with my tattered hat and blood streaming down my face - but I did it (and was pleased I had). The reason for posting on here rather than on a horse forum is that horse people are very dedicated to what they do (and I am also not registered yet on a horse forum). I reasoned that MA people would understand risk and yet might be more objective with respect to a completely different sport - and you all seem nice people round here :-D

 

I'm of the opinion that people should do things they enjoy even if it carries with it a risk. If you and your kids enjoy the horse riding and its a nice shared activity then stick with it I'd advise trying not to fall off though lol.

My mother is disabled and has to look back on the things she used to do as she can't do anything physical any more, in her current position she regrets a few things where she didn't do stuff she enjoyed when she could. By all means try and manage the risks but don't let fear stop you from doing something you enjoy.

 

I used to ride horse, I can imagine the comments from people in the UK about that (heard it all before), as PASmith said I think it has an incredibly high injury rate. My girlfriend likes riding too (tee hee) and has broken a fair few bones.

But if you enjoy it, it's worth the risk in my opinion.

I always turn to Viz when I need some advice on life.

 

There comes a time in life when you realize that you are breakable - particularly as the older you get the less well you repair. I injured myself hang gliding 13 years ago and have never been the same since. I love flying but I gave it up because I like being able to walk more.

if I keep my marbles I might take up flying again in my 90's. You got to go one day and you might as well have fun doing it. but until then there is so much fun i can have on the ground.

 

Do you want to live or ...just exist ?

 

Horse riding keeps me employed. You have to do a risk gain analysis. Is your enjoyment of horse riding great enough /means enough to you that the percentage risk of leaving your children orphaned or having to bear the physical and financial burden of your care is worth it. Horse riding is way more dangerous than any of the activities you've listed (indeed I believe that it's a leading cause of death in women under 40 in the UK) but that doesn't mean you're guaranteed to sustain a serious injury. However your risk of doing so is greatly increased by riding. You have to weigh up the risk and decide if it's worth it to you.

 

Sifu Ben -

 

If your unwilling to give up, but recognise the danger, get yourself private medical insurance, if you have a preexisting back injury, you have to weigh up the risk/reward of horse riding.

 

The older you get,the more serious the risk of injury with a fall.
The longer the total accumulated time spent in the saddle,the higher percentage risk of an accident.
A good friend of ours is just showing signs of recovery after being put in an induced coma following an accident where the horse fell on top of her(and died)
crushing her.
Tbh it seems a miracle that she can now say a few words and open her eyes after the
state she was in immediately after the incident although it"s too early to tell what if any permanent brain damage she may have suffered.
I should qualify this by saying that she was slightly older than you and rode every day(looking after a number of horses) both on and off road.
This is the reality of the situation,though if you'd asked our friend before her accident whether she would ever give up riding the answer would probably have been not while I'm still able,as it was such an integral part of her life.
(she has four children btw).

 

Ned - I sincerely hope that your friend continues their recovery - that is the sort of nightmare situation that I wouldn't wish on anyone - the question is should I run scared of such a story?

Hi Fusen. Luckily I have private med insurance through my firm so I should be covered if needed. I think the previous back injury is OK now - in twenty plus years I've twice had a trapped sciatic nerve, but that's the only residual I've ever experienced. I could just as easily put it out doing Karate!

I think I might keep it going at least until the summer. I'm going on a trip of a lifetime this year to the States and want to try a Western style riding experience while I'm there - it will be easier to do if I am 'riding fit' when I go - I'll just have to cross my fingers that I don't do my dire mischief before I go and wipe out the possibility of the trip full-stop.

 

While I'm not a fan of dobbins, I know a good few riders and have been around them all my life.

What I've learned is that once it's in your blood, a horse rider would rather give up breathing than riding...

Even with horrific injuries - my ex got put through a concrete wall and airlifted to hospital, my friends wife has had her leg smashed to pieces when her hunter fell on her - people still get 'back in the saddle' and crack on. As long as you understand the danger and assess the risk, keep going if you enjoy it!

Take out good insurance when you go to the states though!

I get why you do it, one of my jobs sees me with a good risk of injury every time I clock on, and my main job has been in the construction industry for nearly 20 years. I have an 18 month old baby and a wife, and think all the time 'should I keep doing this'? But I really enjoy both, so part of it is selfishness there, but another part is striving to further my career to provide a better life for my family, so a bit swings and roundabouts