Tricky situation, tact help required!

Discussion in 'General Martial Arts Discussion' started by Su lin, Sep 14, 2009.

  1. Su lin

    Su lin Gone away

    Hello people.

    Just got a bit of an "issue" I was wanting some thoughts on really. My mma club is great, I love training there, really excellent instructors and I just think it's great.
    However, at the moment I keep being paired up with random girls that pitch up , mainly beginners too. Now, I'm no expert but I have been training a little while now and am trying to get good enough to fight. I'm getting frustrated as all the guys get paired up depending on experience/weight whereas at the moment I am getting paired up according to sex and it's starting to get to me.
    The girls are all nice and I really don't mind assisting with them and helping as I am ALL for more women getting into mma and I know it can be intimidating showing up to a class where it's predominantly men.
    Thing is, I'm not getting what I want out of the classes and they just aren't pushing me hard enough as I end up going through basics (I know thats often a good thing but not all the time).
    I think it may happen again tonight and I really think I need to say something to my instructor but not sure what yet as they are all really nice guys and I don't want to upset the girls either. Would be better if 2 new girls turned up so they could train together but it's always just one, then they stay a couple of weeks then quit!
     
  2. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

    My wife hates that as well but as she works in the gym she has to. She hates it.
    How long is your session? Is there a way of helping the noobs and then training after?

    1. Hurt them and make yourself unsuitable for beginners

    2. Tell the instructor that you are only prepared to go with noobs every other session
     
  3. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

    Remind the instructor of your age. Time is running out:rolleyes:
     
  4. Su lin

    Su lin Gone away

    Sessions are 2 hours and generally been paired up the whole session. One of the girls was in the more advanced group with me last week when she didn't even really know the basics.

    Don't want to go hurting them, and yeah I don't mind training with them every now and then but it's just not helping me.

    Perhaps if I growl at them a little? :D
     
  5. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

    Trouble i it's always going to happen in that sort of enviroment. You'll get the kids a well if they're allowed. Have a word with the instructor about limiting it or sharing the noob between a few of you.

    If you want the contact with other more experienced women then I'll tell you what I told Frodo, take judo, loads of women there. Find a randori class. Then get them to your MMA class.

    Advertise for an experienced female training partner?

    Seen this so many times, my guess you are very technical and good natured making you a perfect first training partner.

    Have a dedicated noobs session once a week? (not your call I know)
     
  6. Su lin

    Su lin Gone away

    I think they are planning a beginners women only class, which I will help out with and would be great as they could then progress up.

    Yeah, I suppose I'm technically quite good and won't go too hard on them while giving them a challenge. I may go down to SBG at some point again as there are loads of excellent women training there and would be good to have my **** handed to me by them:D

    And really want to get together with Frodo and Mrs Moi. Jamie has a job now so coming down isn't out of the question.
     
  7. Frodocious

    Frodocious She who MUST be obeyed! Moderator Supporter

    You want help on a tricky situation that needs tack, and your asking on MAP? You fool, you! ;) :)

    I think you should talk to your instructor about being paired with someone of your own ability, not your own sex, then do judo! Seriously, there is still just me and 1 other lady (who doesn't always show up) at my BJJ class, but several women at my judo class.

    I would be up for a meet up at some point now my life is getting back on track!
     
  8. Su lin

    Su lin Gone away

    Yeah, women go for judo more don't they. There's a brilliant club up in Kendal that do olympic training etc and I have been seriously thinking about going up there and having my ass kicked (thrown). Though saying that, last week I did hold my own against a Polish girl who had done 8 years judo ,even with my 4 years kung fu/18 months of grappling :D
     
  9. old palden

    old palden Valued Member

    Your trainers probably assume they are running class in a way that works best for everyone involved, and that they're being sensitive and considerate about gender issues. (In fact they are.) Women new to martial arts training of any kind are often out of their element and ill at ease, so even if it's not better for you, consider that working with you is better for them.

    It's up to you to communicate your goals and aspirations with your instructors. Let them know that you have no problem rolling with men. Let them know in fact that you want to roll with the men, and if it isn't happening sufficiently in class, find a guy in your weight division that is up for extra training.
     
  10. d0ugbug

    d0ugbug learning to smile

    Can't add anything apart from the fact I totally agree with Moi
     
  11. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

    Beat them up?:evil:
     
  12. Mitch

    Mitch Lord Mitch of MAP Admin

    Can you hear every teenage male on MAP shouting "ME! ME! ME!"?

    Mitch
     
  13. Su lin

    Su lin Gone away

    Lolol! Old Palden, yes I appreciate that. My instructors know I am fine with training with men, I have no choice :D
     
  14. dormindo

    dormindo Active Member Supporter

    You certainly have to speak up on this. If they are coming up with a beginner's class and you have no problem helping with it, fine, but you have to look out for your growth and development as well. If you rolled with men at the beginning, then why can't these women from time to time? It would seem that the men have become accustomed to having to train/partner with a woman, the women should have to learn how to train/partner with a man on occasion. If the women are nervous about that prospect, your instructor can point to you as the shining example, but you have to have time put in training with people who are going to challenge you. My two cents, anyhow.

    paz,

    dormindo
     
  15. Southpaw535

    Southpaw535 Well-Known Member Moderator Supporter

    No comment...
     
  16. Su lin

    Su lin Gone away

    None turned up last night,. Phew. Except me of course. And yeah good point about me training with men so they should too.

    And lol at me being a shining example :D
     
  17. Van Zandt

    Van Zandt Mr. High Kick

    It's probably since you shaved your beard they mistakenly thought you were a woman.
     
  18. DBX

    DBX Valued Member

    I sympathise, cos at our Thai club there's a woman in a similar situation, she's a senior grade & gets often paired with beginner women and kids.

    She's one of 4 women training seriously out of a class of 20+, 2 are (recently) at instructor grade & often get paired together (cos they're learning the same level stuff), another's been training for a year (though 3 or 4 x a week).

    I'm happy training with her, cos she's good and trains hard / can take hits, and sometimes I'm happy not get kicked about by big fellas, or take it easier and work on technique / varying tempo etc, she often complains to me about it.

    All you can do is speak to your instructors, and practice your basics with the beginners. Can imagine it's harder in MMA, with grappling etc, when we spar we swap partners every round so we get to mix it up.
     

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