Tips for fighting multiple attackers

Hey everyone, I've found myself in a potentially bad situation. There is a guy I know who has taken a liking to calling me a slur related to my sexual orientation (due to TOS I can't say it, but I'm sure you know what it is). To those on this forum who may not know, I am openly gay, and find this extreemly offensive. I have asked him to stop on many occasions and he hasn't. I recently stood up to him and he felt very imasculated by the whole thing.

Although he has made no threats, I wouldn't put it past him to gather a couple friends (he knows I'm a black belt, so likely won't attack alone) to try and "teach me a lesson". I would of course never accept a challenge to a fight or try and pick one. My only concern is my own safety.

Although I am a black belt, and I dare say a fairly good fighter my self defense knowledge is fairly minimal. Does anyone out there have experience or knowledge that could help me out here? Tips regarding situational awareness, how to best evade and get out of the fight as soon as I can, ETC.?

The school has already been made aware of his harassment, but no direct threats have been made so I can't do anything until he does make a threat or just attacks me.

 

Multiple attackers is a very bad situation. Avoidance is your best option, escape is your second best. If it comes to a fight against multiple attackers you really need some sort of equalizer, and even then producing a weapon raises the stakes and could increase the chances of serious harm. Personally in this type of situation, if I couldn't escape I would insult the ringleaders need for all his mates to jump in. Suggest he is a coward and try to get it down to a one-on-one fixed fight as opposed to dealing with multiples.

Have your phone with you at all times, and maybe a personal alarm of some sort might be wise. Stay aware of your surroundings, as the biggest danger comes from being jumped while unaware.

 

That bit about insulting his need for help is good. I'll remember that.

One thing I plan to do, is always travel with a friend while in the hall way. And tell them if anything happens start video on their phone, and if punches are thrown call 911

Thanks for the reply, the bit about the equalizer doesn't really apply unfortunately as I'm a student so I can't carry weapons.

 

It sounds like this is happening at your martial arts school. If your teachers are aware of this and don't step in, there is something seriously wrong.

 

Oh god no, I'm a senior in high school, it's happening there.

 

Oh man, dude I'm so sorry. Even more so in your circumstance! We shouldn't have higher standards of martial arts places than we do of schools. I'm really sorry you have to deal with this, that's the absolute extent of wow I just violated TOS. I know this is not a great consolation for you at the moment, but you're a really smart guy with an eclectic and introspective mind. I see you getting into a good college with a healthy LGBTQ community and doing really well there. I think it genuinely will get better for you and you won't have to deal with an edited sentence. I'd like to recommend considering Vassar College, because it's just the best, especially with issues like this. :]

 

Strip all your clothing off and immediately lay on your back with your legs open, ready to catch a guy in your guard when he attacks. They probably won't even approach you. Defecating immediately while naked and then laying down will probably 100% guarantee they won't mess with you!

NSFW videos are Not Safe For MAP.


In all seriousness though, keep your distance and don't be caught in the middle. You won't likely be able to really hurt anybody to defend yourself, but it will keep you safe. No sense in doing anything that may screw you going to college or graduating high school when you're this close man. Unless this guy is involved with a gang or some other students who have disciplinary problems I wouldn't stress it too much. I wouldn't provoke them though, just try to suck the pride down and keep away.

 

Oh good lord, what did I just watch?!









....and why do I want to watch it again?

On a more serious note, the way it was always taught in my old Aikido dojo was that movement was king. It was always seen as better to "guide people" along their way to avoid the punch than to stand and fight. If you look at the entry work on techniques like Irimi Nage, it should give you a fairly good idea what I mean. This is aside from the fact that the best idea is always to get the hell out of there first if you can, mind.

I know you can't carry weapons, but are you allowed to carry car keys? My oldest sister once punched a guy for picking on our sister - but in her hand she had gripped her key tightly so that the key was sticking out a tiny bit between the second and third fingers. Tore his cheek open pretty badly. Not pretty, but stopped things escalating even more so from there.

The rest is just coming down to general risk assessment really - travelling with a friend where possible, in public, big spaces, camera phones, etc. The fewer opportunities you present to let someone try and jump you with relatively minimum risks, the better. I'm sure some of the other guys on the forum will have better advice, but that's my 2 pennies. Hope it helps.

 

A lot of good advice here. I would also suggest talking to your counselor or a principal about letting you carry pepper spray.

 

This will give you a strong motivation to train hard in MA.

When I was your age, someone said, "I'll kill you next time we meet." Instead of waiting for that to happen, I gave him a surprised visit. For the rest of his life, he tries to stay away from me (this guy lives in Houston today).

 

The problem with a 'pre-emptive' strike is that it makes Grasshopper the aggressor, in terms of how the college would see it, and if there were any legal ramifications as a result. However real the threat from person is, so far it is purely verbal.

Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that I think that a pre-emptive strike would be 'wrong', as it might nip a potentially bad situation in the bud. But you have to bear in mind that attacking someone as a way of dealing with a perceived threat isn't self-defence unless you are sure in your mind that you are about to be physically assaulted by that person. (At least, that's the position in English law. Other countries may vary.)

 

It's important to let your opponent to know that you are willing to deal with whatever that he intends to do to you.

The 2nd part of my personal story ended as the following.

I met the guy face to face. I said, "Last time you said that you are going to kill me next time we meet. Now we have met again. Let's settle this once for all." He said, "John, look at how big you are and how small I am (I was not that big and he was not that small). How can you take advantage on me?" I didn't say anything, trurned around, and left.

 

Oh, right. I assumed from your previous post on the subject that you'd beaten him to a bloody pulp and left him begging for mercy, or something. But if you just pre-emptively spoke to him, then that's fine. Of course, giving a bully a bit of a talking-to doesn't always work. But like you said, showing that you aren't going to let yourself be pushed around is important, and sometimes that is sufficient.

 

Your school doesn't impose any consequences for the use of such a slur?

 

I'm off to school now, if anything will happen it will probably be today. I'll keep in mind all the advice here. Thanks everyone.

Pointyshinyburn, the short answer is normally no. People say it all the time and at most get a talking to. But I have some pull with the lady who handles harassment so I think I can get him for it.

 

Try to train harder. Put some muscle on your body, you problem may just simply go away.

 

Which is fine a few months down the line but not now. Besides, Grasshopper is a big lad anyway - you can see it in the videos he posted of him training. Plus the lad knows GrassHopper also has a black belt in Karate, for most people the reputation is enough to act as some protection.

To be honest though, the lad sounds like a *insert TOS naughtiness of your own devising and a coward anyway, hopefully nothing will come from any of this.

Here's hoping.

Let us know how things go dude, take care (etc).

 

Sorry to hear you're being harassed. I'd probably just ignore it until people actually get physical, and then try to end it in less than a few seconds.

Here's the thing with large groups: They mainly consist of followers. There are maybe 1-2 aggressors in the whole group that might actually be willing to attack you. Once you take these out, the rest will run off. I've experienced this multiple times during my own high school time.

Seriously though, get a good talk with your teachers in. Express your concerns, and maybe hold a speech in class. Bullying gay people is usually caused by 2 things. Homophobia, and the illusion one is an easy target.

The first point can be solved by letting people know that you won't try hitting on everyone just because you're gay, and that you can have friends without actually falling for them. I know it feels like pointing out the obvious, but what may seem obvious to you is new for someone else.

As for being an easy target, I'm sure that opinion changes once you do take one of them out. I'm not suggesting you walk up to random guy and punch him in the face, but the next time someone is actually trying to hit you, floor him. Confidence is key.

An easier solution might be holding a seminar during sports class. You can share your love/passion for martial arts, and show them in a friendly yet stern way that you are quite adept at it.

Good luck, and I hope everything works out for you.

 

I think the technical advice is all well and good. But truthfully, I think the first step needs to be more social than technical. The kid says these things because there are no social consequences and likely social reinforcers. He's getting something from this.

I'm no expert on bullying, but the research I did on it suggested that the real key is social connectedness. Would you say you're socially isolated? (Sorry for the personal question.) There needs to be a social consequence for messing with you. To me, your best bet is to reach out to people, if you're currently isolated. How you go about that, exactly, I don't know. Does your school have any sort of club? Like a gay-straight alliance (GSA)?