Tiny Sister needs help Learnig Self Defense

My younger sister is going to college out of state next fall, and she's a little bit worried about being alone in an environment where she might not be able to protect herself from assault in the event that she can't run away.

At 5 feet tall with a dancer's build, she isn't very imposing, but she's in good physical shape and was a competition level dancer and gymnast before quitting to dedicate more time to school. Currently, spends a lot of time riding horses, which toughens you up a bit. She also used to run cross country, and made it to state once.

She is a believer in nonviolence, and has displayed interest in Aikido. She also thinks that Tai Chi is cool, though she won't say much about it since I started learning it. Both of these take a long time to learn (especially Tai Chi), however, and she only has until fall to practice.

Her biggest problem is her size. She's TINY, and so anything art that requires a lot of force or weight won't work well for her.

Do you know a martial art that someone that small could learn to use to defend herself so soon?

 

Buy her this book: The Gift of Fear

Amazon.com: The Gift of Fear: Gavin De Becker: Your Store

Reading this book will do more than 30 mins with big brother showing her some techniques could ever do.

 

Or if they are out of stock, De Becker's Protecting the Gift.

 

For books and the like I'd recommend looking into Geoff Thompson's stuff - www.geoffthompson.com/listAllBooks.asp.

For women's self defense I think BJJ would help a lot, though some striking is always good to have. Might also be a good idea to see what's available in the area where she is going to.
While I respect Aikido and Tai Chi, for the most part they are not practical for realistic self defense.

She could of course get herself a big burly boyfriend

Damn Frodocious getting in there before me!

 

Judo or Krav Maga-all depends what you have about
or if she can both!
if she can think longer term Aikido can be great for self defense,but as you say it take a while

 

Any use of physical techniques/martial arts in defense is going to entail violence - how much just depends on the situation. Your example of Aikido is a perfect demonstration of this; some people will give in to the techniques simply due to pain compliance, but others won't. And if they don't, the techniques have the ability to break bones, etc.

There is a lot of difference between being a violent person and being able to use violence when one's well being and/or life (or that of those close to you) is threatened.

Couldn't she (as others have already suggested) find a dojo/school near the college and continue training? As well as being good self defense, 'twould provide excellent relaxation from so much schoolwork!

 

Big brother doesn't know any techniques, because his only martial arts experience is a couple of months of tai chi. Big brother was just helping little sister decide what martial art to take lessons in, and when to begin taking them.

She learned those standard female self defense tricks in school. I wouldn't presume to teach her a thing about self defense.

 

Very important thing is to make sure the instructor is good. If the instructor is no good, it doesn't matter what the art is, she's not going to learn what she needs to learn.

 

I meant no offense to shorter women with the tiny remark. It's just that her height has been a problem with her on occasion.

She and I have been talking over the phone. There's no BJJ place near her school of choice, though there is one in our hometown where she's living. There is Krav Maga, Aikido, and Karate offered both at home and her school. Mom and dad are leaning hard on her to take Krav Maga or BJJ for the summer and then switch to Aikido at school if she so wishes.

Looks like the research is done. Thanks for all your help!

 

I'd say she should check out the Krav Maga place. Out of the 3 you mentioned it tends to have the more realistic approach to self defense. I also think she should look into www.geoffthompson.com and www.urbancombatives.com. These are UK based people, I'm sure there US based people who are similar. What they do isn't based on any particular 'style' but rather takes principles from various styles and teach self defense based on concepts and principles.

Just out of interest, do you know what style of Karate the club is?

 

Please don't buy her a book. Books are entrainment only. No martial art can be learned over night. How long it takes to progress depends on the teacher, the student and the time put in.

Sadly there just isn't a quick fix to this. But I don't think self defence is the issue. It's her confidence in living alone and she's expressing that by telling you about the worst case scenario she can think of.

My advice is to help her find something she will enjoy and help her build her confidence.

 

You are absolutely right. Nothing can replace time spent in the Dojo. But there are some really good books and DVDs out there that would fit really well on top of the training. Ones that cover the areas of awareness and negotiation, which I feel is left out of a lot of "traditional" styles. Good Krav Maga clubs will probably cover these areas too.

 

Buy some pepper spray and a rape whistle then get her practising sprints. Also tell her to try and get a big boyfriend.

At 5ft any normal man is going to dominate her in any sort of physical conflict. You could have a BB in every martial arts but theres some gaps that techniqe cannot bridge and a huge strength/weight gap is one of them.

Learning any martial art will likely give her a confidence in her ability to protect herself that she shouldn't have. In the event of a conflict or assault the only chance I could see her having (without the rape whistle or spray) is attacking the eyes and I doubt that would stop most attackers. If she can carry a concealed gun or knife legally that might be a good idea too.

Of course chances are she will never be attacked. Most of it can be avoided by being sensible, such as not drinking too much, not walking home alone, not being confrontational and staying in well lit public areas.

Edit: Judo and Bjj still require a level of strength and size similarity compared to your opponent to be able to pull off the submissions and take downs/throws. There are very good black belt woman that are average size and strength at my judo gym and I can still dominate them by just being stronger, and your sister is not of normal size and strength by the sounds of it.

If any martial art is going to of any use at all it would be krav maga, however that's more of a mind frame imo and as your sister says she is non violent she might have a problem with the mind frame that krav maga requires.

 

:bang::bang::bang:

Here's a true story from my Yoshinkan coach : At the time this takes place, Coach had just reached brown belt, and he was starting to develop a bit of an ego about his skill :hat: So his sensei brought in a tiny Japanese girl and had her use my coach as uke!

Lesson #1: Keep a hold of that ego...
Lesson #2: Little girls can throw big guys around nicely if they use proper technique.

Very limiting viewpoint. While Krav definitely sounds like it would fit what she needs, to say that it's the "only art that could help her" is way off the mark. How many times have we heard that it's more the teacher than the art?

I really doubt that a good teacher is going to expect the student to come in with a certain mindset, with the exception that the student should be open to instruction and not a know-it-all.
I believe that most Krav schools include "mental conditioning" if you will - including simulation of attackers hurling insults at you before a combat situation, etc.

 

Actually Helio Gracie was a small, frail man who wasn't strong enough to effectively compete against bigger stronger Judo-ka. So the the whole point of BJJ was so that a small person could defeat a larger person. Sure it's come a long was since then, but the point still stands.

This thread is starting to turn into a debate. Grammish, I hope the posts made here have been helpful, and I hope everything works out ok for your sister.

Peace.

 

Self-defense and martial arts are often quite different and while martial arts need to be learned through physical training, most of self defense is non-physical.

It seems to me that teaching someone (particularly a woman) worried about self-defense in common situations a martial art before reading this book is a bit like showing someone how to buckle a seat-belt during a car crash.

Having her read a book detailing some of the most common strategies that mostly men use to manipulate mostly women so that she can recognize the danger is going keep her out of more trouble then several years of martial arts that are focused mostly on what to do when you've failed to recognize the warning signs.

Everyone should read this book, it's really quite good. It has its faults, but those are far exceeded by its benefits.