I've been tempted many times to adopt this kind of outlook, and there's a crap ton of applications for it. I would go so far as to say science is the pursuit of understanding exactly what you just described. Everything happens for a reason, and that reason is dictated by an immense amount of factors we are constantly trying to measure. However, I think I'm pretty firm in the belief that the more self aware we become both as a society and an individual, the more "free" we become. If you know why you do something, you're generally able to opt out of doing it or choose different things to go a different direction. In a world of infinite choices, it's hard to manipulate that with the, "well then you're just making a different choice because you're aware, which still dictated your choice." I just feel like using the predestined argument becomes inadequate. Becoming self aware to be able to control yourself more is a very common theme in religion, the concept of God, movies like the Matrix, etc.. It's just slow going for us mortals, who have to evolve and progress at a painstakingly slow rate ::tear::.
I think it's just the brain injury then. No way I'm becoming enlightened. I'm too dastardly a character for all that. xD
Sometimes I remember things about my character when I was younger and how me in the present views things about myself during that time. For example I remember I used to feel emotions a lot stronger towards people, and one of the things I would think to myself is that if I had to bare a lot of suffering for certain people who made me feel happy, I would do it without question. Not in the sense of letting somebody treat you like crap, but in the fictional "utopian possible through the suffering of somebody else" type way. So if it took me living in hell for said person to live happy, I told myself (and believed without question) I was willing to do it. I used to be religious as well, and used to pray that I was given the burden or suffering in life so other people wouldn't have to deal with it. Fastforward 10 years, add time in the military, a bad relationship and divorce, and a debilitating brain injury and PTSD that claimed a bit over two years of my life; something that can change you permanently and has to be considered in anything you pursue in the future, and it puts things in a different context. Now when I think, "how far would I go for somebody else's happiness?" the understanding of what actual suffering can be and how hard it is gives pause to the absolute willingness to accept hardship and suffering. Internally I feel the dread and fear from experience. It's unnerving when you look at foundation character traits and you can't just say "yep, I'm down for that" without a pause for consideration, a moment of doubt or fear of what such a decision could potentially mean. I think for the most part I'm still the same type of person, just more protective of myself than I used to be. It's strange that a fictional situation you use to judge your character in your past that only has light ties to application in the real world can make you feel like you're betraying people just because you now question putting yourself at risk for another. The things you think about when you can't sleep at 2 am in the morning.
After the crap you've been through brother, that sense of self-preservation you developed is completely understandable. I see people sacrificing their time, energy and health for family, which is fine, but more often than not they're having the mickey taken out of them by those same family members they're sacrificing it all for. Gotta protect your own energy first, man.
I chuckle about this far too often you my football fan friends: the amount of reaction from little knocks in football made me wonder: what would sparring look like if you reacted like a footballer during sparring/ fighting? maybe get a good roll across the gym after someone attempts a sweep? backflip and hold your face after someone roundhouses your leg?
"Crisco Aaradia" Is it just me or does that sound like an awesome, exotic kind of specialized Crisco for extra special occasions, and packaged in a gold container covered in rhinestones?
I really like buying used books for classes, and not because they're cheaper. I really like reading the notes and scribbles of past owners of the book, and looking at implications of their note taking techniques. In the current contract law text I bought for my class, I'm quite amused at the former owner's highlighting techniques. The technique of highlighting key points for later study within a section is pretty common. What's also common is how many people fail at doing this correctly. The former owner of the book is a great example. They didn't highlight key phrases. They literally highlighted near everything. The only thing they skipped over with the highlighter were words like "the" and things in parenthesis. They must have needed a new highlighter every two chapters.
I can't help but chuckle at how my training log has started out. Me: I'm going to start walking. @querist : WHOOOOAAAAA BUDDY slow down there! Have you checked with your doctor? Walking could kill you ya' know! Obviously this is really exaggerated (nothing but love querist!) but I can't help but boil it down to that in my head. xD
I always feel bad every time somebody "likes" a post of mine, especially if I've noticed they have liked a bit of the stuff I post. I feel bad because I generally don't register the "like" portion of social media and overlook it, and then I feel like people might not think I acknowledge them, their humor, their usefulness, or their input in general because I didn't "like" their post. Then I get mad about having this part of social interaction online being dictated by a "like" feature and I want to be rebellious against it. I think I need to start making a conscious effort to "like" more things I like. I'm not going to beat the game here, and I feel like not partaking in it probably makes me look like a jerk more than anything : P.
Hmm. Was the big bad wolf really bad, or was he a victim of social media? Haiku I recently saw: When life gives you seeds Plant them in dry rocky soil I'm an optimist
Is it ironic if I like this post? I get that it's not for everyone, I use it as I'm often prefer to like a post that I like, rather than write a brief post
Finally realized and accepted something, I knew before but didn't want to believe: All the openness, understanding, sympathy, acceptance, and whatnot regarding psychic diseases is in nine out ten times pure pretending. I think more and more often, that people saying how they understand it, and think it's okay and the such, is essentially a lie. Most people seem to be saying that, because it is "in" at the moment to be accepting regarding these sort of sickness, and not really because it's being seen serious, let alone understanding. People claiming to to just get the s...ituation together -never mind, if with words like these or in roundabout ways- and straighten up, and things will be doable again, seem to prove that more and more. Being more realistic, I'd say that it will be years to come, until you can be really open about it, without the risk of negative repercussion and similar.
I'm confused -- did your true love give you 1 partridge, or 12 partridges in a pear tree (1 each day)?
I'm more nervous about a practical portion of a job interview in the area I've been working in since I was 18, than I was when I was stepping up to compete.
