Things you don't want to hear in the operating room

Things you don't want to hear when the doctor's operating on you, feel free to add more

1/ I hate it when they are missing stuff.

2/ I hate that thingy in the chest thumping around, is there any way to stop the damn thing?

3/ You sure you are putting the scalpel in the right place?

4/ There's a really big market for kidneys nowadays and this guy's got two of them

5/ Oh lord, please accept this sacrifice!

6/ Good luck on your first time doctor.

7/ Is there any way to cheat in here like we did in the exams?

Any more?

|Cain|

 

We're one short on the forceps count.

 

Let's use our nails instead

|Cain|

 

Oh you sure it all went out well? :Angel:

|Cain|

 

Sorry, my post was a reference to the end of an op when the patient's being closed up and they count the instruments/ swabs etc. Damn doctors and their jargon.

 

Give me another hypo nurse. Ahh, thank you, I needed that. Now hand me one o' them knives

Woah, watch out where you throw that part, we might need it later

Did anybody see where my engagement ring went?

 

Ouch!

|Cain|

 

"Catch Fido!"

 

"Here Kitty, Kitty"

 

ROFL!

EDIT - bah! Forget it, keep forgetting I am a mod

"the light's gone out yet again, time to test our new home made nightvision goggles

|Cain|

 

Nurse...light my cigarette, please...

 

Get me an ashtray, I keep dropping ash all over the place

 

"Purrrrrrr"

 

What do you mean, "we're supposed to do the left side"?

 

No "bzzz" I must be winning!! (for those who remember the game Operation)

 

|Cain|

 

How about we expand this to other areas?

Things you dont want to hear when your training

Your throwing a great little kick, when all of a sudded you hear this lout RRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPP!!!!!

And suddenly you seem to have a lot more ventilation in the groin area and everyone can see your butt!!!

Happened to one of my students recently

 

Aikido Instructor: Wow...does your arm always bend both ways?
You: *looks* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!