Things People in SciFi Movies Should Have Learned, But Haven't

1) Be careful with "Super Soldiers." Devoutly nationalistic nice guys: Good. Zombies, giant spiders, or humans with enhanced aggression and dampened empathy: Bad.

2) DON'T punch holes in the fabric of space. Just don't.

3) You find organic matter, ancient ruins, or deserted space craft on a planet thought to be unpopulated. LEAVE IT ALONE.

- Over to you -

 

4) Injecting alien DNA into anything from Earth will go badly.

 

5) if you want to expand across the galaxy, don't append civilian elements to a formerly entirely conquest-focused military expedition as a late aftethought. the military guys won't like it.

 

7. Don't mess with the natives.

 

8. Always check the back seat of your car, spaceship or inter dimensional time pod.

 

9. Time travel is a bad idea. Almost always.

 

10) Super-intelligent computers have no use for people. No use you'd want to be put to, anyway.

11) Save yourself a lot of grief. And running. Just sleep next to the weird plant life and get on with it.

12) Don't stand around gormlessly in your front garden wearing a dressing gown. Those guys are ALWAYS the first ones brought down by fast zombies.

13) There are parallel universes, and your doppleganger in those universes is a jackass. Unless you're a jackass. In which case, he's probably a pretty nice guy. And you won't like him. Because you're a jackass.

 

14) If you're cloning a dangerous animal ie Dinosaurs. Assume that they are dangerous and may well eat/mate/both with/at/to you

 

15) Nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

 

They mostly come out at night, mostly...

 

17) Be mindful of who you Kiss, you may have a long lost Sister/Brother out there, that your Uncle never told you about...

 

18) Don't feed anything after midnight, ever.

 

19) ALWAYS carry a spare 1.21 jiggawatt battery...

 

19. The intergalactic,empire building aliens do not "come in peace"

20.Do not "take them to your leader"

 

If aliens visit our planet, don't shoot first. This only angers them and makes them want to destroy us.

Oh, and don't mess with Godzilla!

 

22. If they're not, then they're probably reptilians.

 

Change your last name to Ripley because then you won't die, ever. Not even if an alien burst out your chest and you throw yourself into larva.

Eggs are very bad for you.

Don't trust large corporations.

The new lieutenant will get you killed.

You can't retreat and call for reinforcements and suitable weapons. No, you just gave to go into the deepest, darkest part of the facility where there also happens to be a xenomorph nest.

If all else fails, use harsh language.

 

If you happen to be in charge of a future evil army of droids/clones/aliens don't give them precision laser guns.
Give them all sawn off shotguns because that way they might actually hit what they shoot at.