The Microsoft TV Dinner Coming soon to a grocery store near you. WELCOME TO MICROSOFT TV DINNER! LICENSE AGREEMENT By removing the product from the box and peeling back the plastic cover, you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft's rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is. Microsoft makes no claims for the fitness of this dinner for any purpose, including human consumption, and will not be responsible for damages of any kind in the event of the user's death or other loss or damage to the user or the user's kitchen, including but not limited to ovens, pots, pans, and related hardware. INSTALLATION INSTRUCTIONS - PC OVENS If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set the oven using these keystrokes: \mstv.dinn.//08.5min@50%heat// . Then enter ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\l/yum~yum-) gohot#cookme INSTALLATIONS INSTRUCTIONS - UNIX OVENS If you have a Unix oven, insert the dinner, enter the ingredients of the dinner (found on the package label), theweight of the dinner, and the desired level of cooking and press start. The oven will calculate the time and heat and cook the dinner exactly to your specification. INSTALLATION INSTRUCTIONS - MACINTOSH OVENS If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start. The oven will set itself and cook the dinner. TROUBLESHOOTING GUIDE Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case your oven must be restarted. This is a simple procedure. Remove the dinner from the oven and enter ms.nodamn.good/tryagain\again.again.crap This process may have to be repeated. Try unplugging the microwave and then doing a cold reboot. If this doesn't work, contact your hardware vendor. Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger than the dinner itself, having many useless compartments, most of which are empty. These are for future menu items. If the tray is too large to fit in your oven you will need to upgrade your equipment. Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the chicken variety is currently produced. If you want another variety, call Microsoft Help and they will explain that you really don't want another variety. Microsoft Chicken is all you really need. Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller versions of their chicken dinners. Future releases will only be in the larger family size. Excess chicken may be stored for future use, but must be saved only in Microsoft approved packaging. Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner after '98. However, that version has yet to be released. Users have permission to get thrilled in advance. Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in the freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost. This is a feature, not a bug. Your freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway. __________________ David
Very funny! But I don't think I'll be eating any of these dinners -- why not? Obvious reason -- full of bugs!
