marriage & divorce

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by abby, Feb 27, 2004.

  1. abby

    abby New Member

    Have you ever been divorced? Why?
     
  2. Kwajman

    Kwajman Penguin in paradise....

    My wife decided that she'd rather live in a big house with lots of money and her boss, than live with me and our four children in our house on the lake.
     
  3. Kof_Andy

    Kof_Andy New Member

    Thats sad.... People who decide to divorced with children make me sick, is there fault for choosing the wrong partner in the first place. Once they have children is too late to divorced already. Couple with children that divorced are self-fish brats. They don't even think whats going to happen to the children, but there own silly relationship. Nothings unfixable... there just too dam lazy to commit to each other.
     
  4. YODA

    YODA The Woofing Admin Supporter

    Nope.

    I met my wife when I was 11 and she was 10 (1973) and we've been together pretty much ever since then apart from a brief gap at around 15-16. We got married in 1984 - 20 years in August :D

    I don't regret a day of it.
     
  5. KickChick

    KickChick Valued Member

    My husband and I began dating at 15 and married at 23 .... married now almost 22 years. Had a rough going about 6 years ago but my husband refused to give up on me.... so it pays to try very very hard at working "disagreements" out... (counseling) ....
     
  6. #1 Stutta

    #1 Stutta The New Boot

    No, but my parents are divorced.
     
  7. Dark Blade

    Dark Blade It Roundhouse time

    Well, I agree with you on the most part, but sometimes people what a divorce because they're really unhappy, being abused, or they were cheated on or something. It's hard to say it's good OR bad.
     
  8. booksie_girl

    booksie_girl Lucy the Terrible

    Sometimes, the parents not divocing can be harder on the kids than a divorce. I mean, if the parents are arguing continuosly, it can make the home a pretty unpleasant place to be.
     
  9. Kof_Andy

    Kof_Andy New Member

    I couldn't agree less. They should get counseling like KickChick did and fix what need to be fixed then. Two grown adult arguing don't solve anything. Confront and fix the problem when you see one, dont run away with a divorce. Divorce... thats something I couldn't and will never do.
     
  10. Melanie

    Melanie Bend the rules somewhat.. Supporter

    I have had experience of divorce. My mum divorced my dad when I was seven. My mum hardly ever saw my Dad as he was a workaholic and thought more of work than of his own familly. Several years later my Mum got remarried and was happy for a long time - but my stepdad was a social worker and worked with children in London. He found that seeing these particularly badly abused and drug using children was so upsetting it drove him to drink and my stepdad became an alcoholic. We were never hit or threatened but he used to steal money to pay for his alcohol. Not come home for days and he had severe asthma and would be hospitalised frequently. I have now lost contact with my step dad and I don't know if he's alive or not.

    What circumstances would be good or bad for a divorce I wonder? I'm glad my mum divorced my stepdad. I loved him deeply, such a gentle caring man before this all started but his lies and the fear that he caused us when he disappeared was unbearable. I think sometimes its better for some famillies to break up than see one self-destructive person destroy an entire familly.

    That's just my opinion though!
     
  11. Brad Ellin

    Brad Ellin Baba

    I divorced my first wife. Why? She decided she was in love with my (ex)best friend (best man at wedding, godfather of first child). I don't regret it either. Yes, we have children. 2 lovely girls. Hard on them? Yes. But, it would be harder if we had stayed together. And Kof_Andy, before you start preaching, I tried for 10 years to keep my marriage together. This wasn't her first affair. But, I'm a forgiving kinda guy, so I did. 7 times that I know of. Yet, I still tried. Offered to go to counseling, she would not have any of it. So, when I got back from overseas, that was it. "Merry Christmas and oh, by the way, I want a divorce". Her words. Not mine. Tired of trying, felt better slamming my head against a brick wall. Granted her a divorce. Now I am remarried to the most wonderful woman in the world (going on 5 years). We have a 1 year old daughter. We have had ups and downs, being form 2 different cultures/countries/back grounds. But, you know what? We communicate. And that makes us stronger.
     
  12. morphus

    morphus Doobrey

    My wife & i met in school at the age of 15(me) & 14(her). We too have had our ups & downs because thats what relationships are all about - Too many couples give up on their relationships too quickly & too easily these days. We're still together & getting stronger.
     
  13. neryo_tkd

    neryo_tkd Valued Member

    I also think that people should work on their relationship. The easiest thing to do is give up. But, it takes two to fix the relationship. If one partner is willing, but the other one isn't, I'm afraid, in that case there is no mending.
     
  14. abby

    abby New Member

    what about if your partner cheated? (multiple times)
     
  15. KickChick

    KickChick Valued Member

    ... well that is when you need an impartial third party to mediate between the two of you as in counseling.

    There are certain instances where divorce is a good choice to make.... such as in this case....of this female soldier station in Iraq whose husband told her children, family, and friends that she had been killed in Iraq. It was all a hoax to cover up an affair ..... ‘Dead’ wife decides to divorce lying spouse
    Now there's a whole new dimension to this situation... her soon to be ex-husband has now been arrested and charged with sexual assault to a minor
    Husband accused in death hoax charged with sexual assault
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2004
  16. Pacificshore

    Pacificshore Hit n RUN!

    Nope, not yet :D
     
  17. abby

    abby New Member

  18. Chris.B

    Chris.B New Member

    I'm not married, but I hope I will never have to go threw with that. I think if you really love each other you should always be able to make it work. Yes, sometimes you'll need help doing it, but if you love eachother what else do you need?
     
  19. KenpoDavid

    KenpoDavid Working Title

    You have my sympathy abby, sounds like a very unpleasant place to be.

    IF you want to knwo if he is still cheating, then you have to take a hard brutally hard look at WHY he was cheating. No man will go steala cow when he gets free milk at home. I'm not (just) talking about sex becasue even though that's big it's not everything.

    If you figure out what he was looking for that you aren;t giving him, then you have to decide, is that something you want to (or are capable of) giving. Of course I am assuming that he is not emotionally or morally deficient, which he very well could be. In that case it owuld be wring for you to try to fulfill his needs becasue they are immature, selfish, dysfuncitonal etc.

    I think you know what is right for you but you are just afraid to do it. Your parents don't have to live with him and they don't have to be humiliated by his lies and unfaithfulness. You are 20 years old, an adult, do what is right for you not what Mommy thinks is best.

    You are not even old enough to go to bars yet, how can you be "used merchandise" you sound pretty fresh to me :D be brave be smart don;t settle for less.

    I was married at 20, divorced at 28 with 2 daughters. They are both teenagers now and the 9 years since my divorce have been difficult. Now I am engaged to a great girl who is not perfect but I am confidant she will make me happy for the rest of my life.
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2004
  20. Kwajman

    Kwajman Penguin in paradise....

    Well Abby, I too feel for you. If you haven't followed my posts, go to my journal and you'll see that a lot of people have been through a lot more than you. That doesn't mean your problems aren't important. On the contrary, it means that you will survive the problems at hand one way or another. PM or e-mail me if you'd like.
     

Share This Page