Get buck naked, draw an arrow on your belly and write "CHECK MY LOG" across your chest. At the absolute least, one of you might get a good chuckle Feel free not to answer this if you don't want to, but have you noticed your diet changed with keeping the log or not?
Pizza Paranoia ***Due to the state I was in last night I took it easy today, and I certainly had problems today. All in all it was a good symptom evaluation/data gathering day. I almost feel like a scientist. Unfortunately I have to feel like complete crap for the information*** Continued Symptoms from yesterday: Ringing in ears, pressure/pain in eyes. 5:30 wake up - Felt strange when I woke up, head felt "hallow" and fuzzy. - Very dehydrated - Took 3 advil migraine with 16 oz. water 7:30am-7:45am 15min. pacing - 1391 ped steps Note: - Felt really "off" - Ringing in ears ***Decided to ice my head*** 7:50am-9:45am - Took prescribed migraine pill at 7:50 - Iced back, front, and sides of head during this period of time. - Felt better 11:45am-12:15pm 30min. pacing - 2545 ped steps Note: - Felt drained, but relaxed - Started getting really tense in the last 5 minutes 2:10pm - Went down to lobby of building, had a lot of tenseness in head and neck and a lot of anxiety - Right side of head feels funny ***Muscle tenseness or brain?*** ***At this point of the day I am out of food in the fridge, not feeling good enough to go to the store, and my wife is still asleep due to staying up until 5am. Decided I wanted a pizza. Turns out this was a horrible idea.*** 2:15pm Placed order online, waited. - Anxiety levels increased, wondered if I would be able to make it down to the lobby just to get the damned thing. - Had to lay down I was feeling so bad - Right side of head was buzzing - Very Tense - Throat tightening 2:50pm Phone call from delivery man. - Felt instant rush of relief. It felt like I just did a fully body exercise and like I had that post workout pump going on, but on the inside of my body vs. in the muscles. Very strange. - Was very, very tense getting to the lobby to get the pizza and returning. That's all I did during the day as I've felt pretty crappy all day. While I think the anxiety levels and crappy feelings are increased because I'm suffering a bout of PCS symptoms, it makes me feel pretty depressed about my situation. Today was a tough day for feeling like I'm worth anything at all and am not a pitiful excuse for a human being. Very difficult to keep a positive mental attitude. All in all though, things have been tolerable aside from doing any kind of activity. Last time PCS symptoms were this bad I spend a few days laying around doing nothing because I felt so bad so I have improved the situation a little bit. I also feel like I need to start upping the anxiety by moving outside a bit for short durations. The anxiety I get in the apartment is very light an manageable, I feel like I have to get out of my comfort zone a little bit to make improvement. May hold off on this and continue the same things I've done the initial week of this log since I've had some problems with increased activity levels in a 'safe' setting. May be smart to see what the therapist says before I try and get a little gung-ho? Finishing the reading of the anxiety work book may be a smarter idea, we'll see how I feel tomorrow. The pizza was damn good though.
Yes, I don't eat as much because I'm focused on doing things. My diet does need to take a big shift (ignore the pizza today! and tomorrow and the next day because I ordered 2!) and I might start logging my diet in as well as a tobacco usage bit (need to get off of it, I'm sure it isn't helping me). Was trying to find a comfortable format in writing the log both on MAP and in my notebook before I started adding other things in. Small steps, still wrapping my mind around making logs. And I would feel so guilty writing all the crap I eat. I've already had to acknowledge the scope of my situation this last week ("acceptance" crap ), I feel like I should be spared having to acknowledge how crappy I've been eating too. :cry: Seriously though, eating habits I've noticed also go along with symptoms I'm feeling. When I feel especially bad with what I believe are oncoming migraines I think I eat a lot more, like a gorging before the storm. Probably worth putting down. I have horrible knee jerk responses when it comes to diet.
Take your time with it dude, there's really no rush. And yeah, we all know tobacco ain't good for you, but in your current condition (sorry if I sound rude, not intentional), I would be more worried about you suffering from withdrawal symptoms and heightened anxiety on top of everything else you're going through. Definitely something to aim for when you're feeling strong enough to try, but not something worth rushing. That's just my two very english pennies enough, feel free to ignore me. Lol, leave it for now then dude . If it's any consolation, I could probably write a fairly hilariously bad "I've been eating wrong" blog at times that would probably make Simon have a coronary
Just don't start logging your logs... :thinking: Why did Mr. Spock look inside the Captain's head? Unusual cravings for sweets? Particularly chocholate, by chance? Cereal grains?
Just from this week of logging you can see the development in the length on what I'm starting to see as relevant. It's already grown in length on what I'm logging and I want things to be efficient and not seem all over the place. I think diet/tobacco use will be the easiest thing to add in since it's not open to identifying problems aside from the direct face value of when/what/how I do them. It's funny how I re-do the log when I put it on MAP compared to what's in my notebook. The notebook has all kinds of foot notes and little details jotted down, but using MAP as the actual log I'm able to organize and refine it and it's been really helpful. I can both see how I didn't like to use logs and why they're necessary to make, definitely a habit building project. While I can't seem to recall cravings, bread, cereal, and sugary things do tend to be what I go for and what have found themselves on the grocery list which certainly implies that I am having a craving for those things. It also suggests from what I know about food cravings that it's a "prepare for danger/stress" type reaction. Noting when I have cravings probably suggests oncoming migraines. I have a meeting at 11am today with one of the neurologists today so I'll be reviewing and making relevant notes from these log entries to discuss with him at that time and will mention it. I also got my wife to read the log and she says, "You need to listen to that guy. He's very intuitive and wise." She also noted my constant misuse of 'then/than' and said I use fragmented and run on sentences too often.
Dec 24th – Dec 29th Summary Accomplishments: 1.) Got myself on a normal sleeping schedule. When I was on an erratic sleeping schedule I felt like I was mentally fatigued which seemed to bring on PCS symptoms and cause more anxiety to deal with. 2.) Was able to efficiently start logging and differentiating between symptoms of PD/PTSD and PCS. 3.) Started moving and being active again. This is a plus even though it’s only in my own home. I feel like I’m more in control of myself and not as depressed. This has been helpful in keeping a positive mental attitude. Key Things to Remember: 1.) While I’ve gotten myself on a normal sleeping schedule it seems that accumulated activity levels throughout each day may cause PCS symptoms after a few days. Will need more time logging activity and symptoms to see if this is what is happening. 2.) I can maintain some level of activity when my PCS symptoms are not too severe. Taking migraine medication and icing helps with relieving PCS symptoms. 3.) PD symptoms are much more intense when PCS symptoms are occurring. The more sever the PCS symptoms are, the stronger the PD symptoms get. When PCS symptoms occur: 1.) A headache does not seem to mean I am suffering PCS symptoms that are severe. A change in mood, food cravings, and feeling “fuzzy” and fatigued mentally have a stronger association with oncoming PCS symptoms. 2.) PCS symptoms in order of experience seem to be 1. Feeling irritable/distraught, change in bowels movements, sensitivity to noise and ringing in the ears. These symptoms intensify to the point of being debilitating. Further symptoms from the point of experiencing these are visual oddities (tunnel vision, flashing lights, blind spots), numbness in head, and pressure behind my eyes. 3.) Migraine medication and normal advil, along with icing help to relieve these symptoms. When PD/PTSD symptoms occur: 1.) Constant presence. Not as strong without PCS symptoms and seem to be tolerable. I also feel like I can manage these symptoms. 2.) Symptoms involve feeling slightly disoriented, tenseness in facial and neck muscles, and ‘sense of doom.’
Not a lot to add today. Was pretty busy upon waking up sorting out the summary above and preparing notes for a webcam visit with a neurologist. After that I pretty much said to hell with everything and lay around reflecting on how ridiculous all of this is. Anyways, I did do a little activity. 1pm-1:30pm 30 min pacing - 3130 ped steps. - Head has pressure feeling in it, getting head throbs (slight pain) every once in a while. 1:30 - ? Iced my head for about 40 minutes. Icing seems to help alleviate some of the PCS symptoms. 4pm-4:30pm 30 min pacing - 2552 ped steps - felt fine 9:50 Went up to store. Got anxious thinking about it and thought I would have problems but I went anyways. Pretty cold outside and I was tensing up and shivering. It's funny because I knew I was tense because I was shivering and not because I was going to have an oncoming anxiety attack but it's like part of my mind just feels it and thinks "oh god you're going to die" or some crap. Once the car warmed up so I could get some heat I was fine. It's all so freaking stupid. Nothing else to add.
Oh dear, "Why did Mr. Spock look inside the Captain's head (latrine, thought you'd knowing that one!) ? "Because he wanted to see the Capt's Log." segues into 'Don't start logging your (Captain's) logs' :INSERT CANNED LAUGHTER HERE
I totally missed that. I'm disappointed because when I read the quote I got it before I read your explanation.
Obviously a woman of exemplary discernment, you have there. :meditate::bow1: Let me guess, she's a teacher by profession? - That grammatical correction obsession developed after years of grading essay after essay before bedtime. I know there are '.'s, ','s and ';'s placed between the words every so often. Beyond that ... its a cross between guestimation with one eye closed and Russian roulette as to where those things go.
Lol, I'll have to tell her you said that. She's about to be a lawyer actually, so I guess that's a bit worse than a teacher being they have their own set of language which have extremely strict guidelines. The use of ';' or ',' could change the meaning of the world in their opinion.
- Dec. 31st 2013 - 10am wakeup - 1 cup coffee. Didn't make my head buzz from it at all. - Feel good, neck didn't make strange sounds when moving my head for the first time in seven months. ***Icing may be helping quite a bit throughout the day*** 11am-12pm -1hr pacing - 4894 ped steps Note: Little tenseness/anxiety at start, felt find for majority of time 2:20pm - Iced head, front/back for 20 min. 2:50-3:20 30 min pace - 2464 ped step Note: Felt good throughout, no anxiety/tenseness 6pm-7pm 1hr 'activity' (didn't sit at all) - 1,250 ped step outdoors, 2,028 indoors Outside: Felt better than usual, but got some anxiety about 1/3 of the way. Started getting tense, heart rate increased, was getting startled by any unexpected noise (and there was a lot of noise being it was new years eve). *** "Acceptance Therapy Technique: Starting to notice I deal with the tenseness (directly related to anxiety levels) in two different ways. I usually 'force' myself to relax which causes me to feel a little queazy, but since doing the ATT method of acknowledging the symptoms and giving them focus I tend to gradually relax with each deep breath and am not left feeling queazy. It's more difficult to do the ATT method though, lot more focus involved. *** Seems to be a fine line of similarity between ignoring symptoms as a coping mechanism and successfully doing ATT method because both eventually lead to not being focused on the symptoms. However I feel like trying to ignore them results in a gradual increase of symptoms to the point where I can no longer ignore them and they force their way into being acknowledged. Bolded to catch eye for future reference, bring this up in Friday's therapy session Indoor pacing - 2,028 ped steps Note: Wasn't difficult and felt good, but I also felt slight exhaustion mentally between talking to the wife and pacing around quicker than usual. - Quit because my head started feeling stuffy/under pressure, but felt ok in general. 7pm Icing 40 min, front/back. Pressure/stuffiness relaxed in severity. Summary: Completed roughly 10,600 ped steps, had a decent day. Note: Reaching the 10k goal seems easier after a week. Doesn't wear me out as much physically, and more importantly it doesn't seem to wear me out as much mentally. - Seeing progress. Need to reset my mindset and get to where I'm feeling disciplined again. The three days of migraine symptom management was good for data gathering in the log but has left me feeling a bit unmotivated and depressed. Accept it and get over it, you don't have a choice.
World Indoor Pacing Champion Jan 1 2014 Wakeup: 8am - Felt good but head felt a little weird. - 1cup coffee, little bit of a buzz but not bad. 9am-10:30am 1.5 hours pacing - 9076 ped steps (yeah, you're reading that right) Note:- Start of and @ 70min. mark I dealt with anxiety/tenseness. Some moments rougher than others but I was able to work it out. - Felt pretty good in general 11am Icing of the back of head 2pm-2:30pm - Weird hip and groin stretches. 20 sec. tense/10 sec. relaxed hold - Lotus lunge, Horse stance, and standing or sitting groin stretch mostly 3pm-4pm 1 hour pacing - 5818 ped steps Note: - Feeling really "meh." Not good or bad but really bored. I'm going to wear a path on my 10 step across room. - General tenseness in head/neck last 20 min. but it was manageable 5pm - Iced head again ***Haven't been making use of advil migraine or normal migraine, or any other medication the last two or three days. This is good because I haven't taken it because I don't feel like I need it.*** ***Need to start adding some more exercising. Want to schedule forearm/grip and calf work in since that's not going to cause me too much stress. Need to try and get some calisthenics worked back in as well but may wait until next week due to the increase in walking*** ***Night ending with a lot of tenseness in head and clenching jaw but can easily make myself stop without having to do any breathing or anything. Approaching end of week, will migraines be a weekly occurrence? Hope not.*** Edit: Picture is what a "lotus lunge" is. I'm trying to work my way up to being able to sit in the lotus position and found this on some youtube video and they called it a 'lotus lunge'. I'm not familiar with stretching to get into the position so have been searching for stretches that will give me lateral rotation in my legs/hips. This one hit the spot. I don't look like the picture though, I'm doing a very bastardized variation and am working my way up.
Damn dude, that's a lot of pacing. I don't know if you've seen it before, but Ross Enamait has some pretty good low tech ideas for grip training and the like. The door grip one he shows here works brilliantly and might be worth a try (the one where he sits down gripping the door) and the gripping the rice one works really well to boot. Maybe not the sledge hammer ones or the ones with the dumbbells yet though http://www.rosstraining.com/articles/trainingthehands.html As for the calves, I tend to just stick with good old fashioned calf raises personally. Since the ROM is more important than trying to go up and down fast, I like it for using while watching tv. Shouldn't raise your heart rate or stress levels too much but it should get the job done in the process.
That is a great website, I've done almost all those exercises at one point or another, the ones I haven't done are the rice grab and sledge hammer. I did the farmers walk slightly different, I used olympic plate instead of dumbbells, its harder and I feel it works more of my forearm.
Even 1.5 hours of pacing is nothing in comparison to 2 miles of forced shopping! Ol' Rossy ross eh? I was grabbing some ideas from him when I was boxing. Interesting thing about him is he used to box but he admits to not being that great because he didn't focus on it as much as he should have. I was able to hunt down his ammy boxing record and I think when I found it that it was posted up by himself while admitting he's better at training than fighting. Dude can train though. Between skipping rope and doing pull-ups on a rope, good lord. Something I'm starting to implement on the wonderful pacing is doing calf raises while working. It's easy, but if you do it for 10 min. it gets a good burn going. Then I'll walk with my knees bent (dropping my weight) and leave the follow leg out a moment longer and it gives a nice active stretch to keep things loose. Reason I want to focus on calves/forearms are for when I get back into weight training/rope work, and I don't think it'll cause my head problems from straining. Will be nice to have my calves used to work so I don't have to build endurance/strength as long to skip well, and forearms are a link that can hold you back in weight training. I want to be able to really hit pull-ups/deadlifts and get up to a decent workout weight quickly and forearms are always and issue. Hoping that if I focus on them for a few months as a side project I'll be able to get into an actual gym and have them be ready to hold some decent weight. I have a few homemade contraptions and CoC grips (#1 and #2). I'll post a photo of my little 'wrecking ball' contraption I'll be using for wrist strengthening today, it's a nifty little thing I made with a leftover back of sand, old cloth belt, and lots of duct tape.
Doing it with O-Plates, presumably you used more of a pinching grip than a crushing grip? I've done it a few times, it really works on the fingers with the pinch grip. But rather than keep getting heavier plates, I just switched to using the door method. Much cheaper . I haven't done the rice grip one with rice, but I have done it with wet sand. Admittedly it was also part of training in the dojo so it was usually spear hand strike into a full grip, rotate the wrist, then release. I was surprised how much it worked. My brother in law used a couple of old towels and a bucket of water, dunked the towels, then wrung them out over and over. Until he got to the point he was tearing wet towels in half. Maybe, but on the plus side, my trip ends with potential doughnuts! Yeah, he's pretty brutal. He's also a fan of miniature ab roller wheely things which I love/hate with a passion. He posted a picture of himself bench pressing 345lbs despite never bench pressing, which was quite impressive IMO. I knew he had boxed in the past, but I wasn't sure how much he'd done. Still, you have to admire his training methods. It better not be a Miley Cyrus type thing, young man! [EDIT: Scratch that, it better be a Miley Cyrus type thing! ) Weight lifting will probably be a good thing to get back into when you build up more confidence mind. If I remember correctly, you did some in the past?
