Ideas for SD demo for abused women

appropriateness

I am relying on them [the shelter] to tell me what is appropriate. I will put some scenarios to them and see what they say.

But in the end, we need to start somewhere even if this is not perfect or not start at all, which would be worse.

 

Yes but you may not need to start right now.

You need a sense of trust to be built, IMO, if this is going to be worth a damn. If you are doing it then do it right.

 

I think you'll find that doing the wrong thing in a self defence course is much worse than doing nothing at all. You should already know that.

It's the 'taster' element that concerns me the most. If you were running a 10 week programme, you could do a proper slow build up that gives you time to understand and account for the individual needs of these women, but a 'taster' pushes you towards showing these women things that they are not ready for and you wont know beforehand what you need to avoid. You can't just rely on the shelter staff to tell you - you're the self defence expert, you're the one who should understand the potential triggering effect of training on your students.

 

cooper code

Looking into Cooper Code.
Interesting.

I am very aware of, and will be very careful about the sharing aspect. But we have to start somewhere.

 

I've had limited exposure but depending on the place certain things are taught but I doubt very much it would be in the same way as we'd think of it. Things like knowing what sets their abuser off, safe places, escape plans, emergency contact lists etc or even how to safely use a phone or PC, as odd as that may sound.

Surviving an abusive relationship takes a rather different approach to having to deal with Joe Mugger on the street.

It's not something I'd expect to see from a counselling service.

I have a very good friend who works in this field, they are pretty damn amazing actually, and I can certainly pick their brains about this.

 

generics

I am confident I understand generic SD. This is particular. But either someone is going to take the plunge or no-one, or a shyster who confidently blags his way in and teaches nonsense (see my thread on confusing the client). But there is not a queue of SD instructors to teach these women. That's why I'm here trying to pick your brains.

Those that just take the plunge without advice would probably only pretend to know what they are doing and take even greater risks.

I hope this taster will lead to a 10 week course, or longer. But I have to start somewhere.

 

If these women choose to share with you then you are being given a privilege, if you say "this will go no further" then you need to mean it and not disclose it to you mates, fellow instructors or even your spouse.

That's how trust and confidence is built. Not only that but if you end up working long term then dealing with this kind if thing can take its toll on you, so you need to have an appropriate support network.

Of course I'm talking about emotional content and personal backstory there and not things like if they are going to go and shoot someone and it's going to depend on how far along they are in their personal journey.

I'm no expert though so you need to have the backing of someone who is.

 

Then start at week 1 of that 10 week course.

 

understanding

Sorry. I don't know what you mean.

 

trust

I think I need to give the centre and the women themselves the trust to know what is good for them.
If they don't, who can?
If they are asking for help, doing nothing is not an option.

 

I mean it about the personal support. I have no idea of your background but if you aren't used to some of the horror that goes on then it's a bloody shock, even when you are accustomed it can make you cynical and hate the world for a while.

It's fine listening to it on the news but when you are face to face with the emotion and pain then its something far different.

 

If you want to do something that will have positive results and actually work then take the time to get to know the field you will work in.

Otherwise it's just a token gesture to buff out the C.V.

 

Sometimes it is an option. You do nothing and find someone who can help, part of this is knowing what you can and can't do and being honest with yourself.

 

week 1

Well yes.
But in a sense this is week 1 of 11. Week 2 depends on this being well received.
If I get past this week, I have a whole syllabus set up, and scenario training. All flexible according to needs as they arise.

If I were the shelter, I would not commit to a course unless the clients were saying it is worth-while.

 

Yet you don't know something as fundamental as colour coding?

 

experience

I am well used to the horror. I would not contemplate this if it were not a familiar world.
But investigation after the fact is not the same as preventing recurrence, which is what this is about.
In the past, my side of prevention was helping them towards a shelter. Now, strangely enough, it is coming round again from the opposite end.

 

scenarios

Quite.
I am not thinking of anything more involve than - if this is the grab, what is the response? For example.
Again, we have to start somewhere.