How to be a Domestic Goddess

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by Saz, Jul 4, 2002.

  1. Saz

    Saz Nerd Admin

    Forget Nigella Lawson, here's how us Real women do it :)

    Delia's Way #1
    Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

    The Real Women's Way #1
    Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. You are probably lying on the sofa with your feet up eating it anyway.

    Delia's Way #2
    To keep potatoes from sprouting, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

    The Real Women's Way #2
    Buy Smash mashed potato mix and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year.

    Delia's Way #3
    When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

    The Real Women's Way #3
    Tesco's sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.

    Delia's Way #4
    If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.

    The Real Women's Way #4
    If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough sh*t.

    Please recite with me the Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

    Delia's Way #5
    Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

    The Real Women's Way #5
    It could keep forever, I don't eat that crap.

    Delia's Way #6
    Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

    The Real Women's Way #6
    Sainsbury's frozen pie directions do not include brushing any eggwhites over the crust.

    Delia's Way #7
    Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

    The Real Women's Way #7
    Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of tequila. Drink the tequila. You might still have the headache, but who gives a sh*t?

    Delia's Way #8
    If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

    The Real Women's Way #8
    Go ask mister tight ****, cute legs, single neighbour to do it for you.

    Delia's Way #9
    Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

    The Real Women's Way #9
    Leftover wine????!!!
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2002
  2. Chido06

    Chido06 New Member

    Right onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
  3. Melanie

    Melanie Bend the rules somewhat.. Supporter

    Welcome Chido06,

    Hope you enjoy the forum and look forward to hearing more from you...

    Especially about Chi Do Kwan...
    I have heard of this (I think) it an off-branch of Tang Soo Do or Tae Kwan Do...or are these the same things? Never did have that clarified.

    Sorry to ask so many questions, just never had the chance to ask a student direct before.
  4. fluffydoc

    fluffydoc Carry On MAPper

    I thought the real women's motto was "I made it and you will eat it and you will like it!" - at least, it's worked for me for years....
  5. Saz

    Saz Nerd Admin

    I doesn't really work with me. There's no way anyone could even pretend to like anything I cook. Unless its cheese on toast :)
  6. Spike

    Spike New Member

    Can`t be as bad as a mate of mine. He had to Microwave two different things, one for four minutes, one for twelve, so he cooked both at the same time for 16 minutes
  7. fluffydoc

    fluffydoc Carry On MAPper

    Or my friend who tried to make boil in the bag meals by opening the bags and pouring the contents into boiling water...'but it's all runny..."
  8. Saz

    Saz Nerd Admin

    lol! :) A friend of mine once put an unopened can of beans in the microwave. She seems surprised when it blew the door off and set the kitchen on fire.
  9. fluffydoc

    fluffydoc Carry On MAPper

    Reminds me of the woman who tried to dry her poodle in the microwave like she'd done with her oven for years then successfully sued the manufacturers for not explicitly stating she could not do this on the instructions...

  10. Dragon_Princess

    Dragon_Princess Princess Available

    lol@spike...16 minutes!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahaha

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