So, 2 days ago I knocked my brother out and fractured his jaw. I punched him with everything I had with no regard for anything, I was at that moment, not accountable for. You see he beat the crap out of my sister-in-law, his wife. I was at home relaxing and playing games (I still live with my parents) when suddenly I was called downstairs where I would see the swollen, beat up face of my sister. I've known her for 10 years and she's the biggest sweetheart I've ever met, so at this point I consider her my sister. I love her, she's awesome. She and my brother got married a few years back and they have a 1 year old super cute baby together. Now my brother is a very troubled individual. He is paranoid, narcissistic and a control freak. I've always been worried about him, because he's insane. His rage bursts like a volcano and his screams are so loud that you'd think the windows would burst. Aside from his insanity, he can be very fun to be around and likes to take care of the people around him. He especially likes cooking for the whole family. His pizzas and hamburgers are world-class, no joke. And he bakes a mean cheese-cake. So onto what happened 2 days ago. It was his birthday. We went out to eat at a nice Italian restaurant to celebrate his 32nd birthday. From the second we met up at the restaurant, I knew he was in a bad mood. Apparently something work-related was bothering him, so we tread carefully around him and tried to keep a positive vibe going on. But it was pointless, because everything seemed to irritate him. Eventually he zero'd in on the fact that his wife had spaghetti for her main course and not a fillet-steak. He could not drop this inane issue and eventually we finished our dinner and went home. I figured he was gonna rage about this stupid stuff again, but didn't expect anything more than that. I didn't because prior to this incident, he had never been violent with anyone. He was the type to lose his temper, but he had never been violent up to that point. However, I was in for a surprise that night. My worst fears and predictions all came true in 1 single moment. As I understand it, after we separated he, with his wife and baby started driving somewhere and his wife was not allowed to know where they were going. From one moment to the next, he started backhanding her with a closed fist while he was driving and continued to do so once or twice every 10 minutes. At one point he stopped the car and she tried to escape, but he tackled her to the ground and dragged her back by her hair. At some point he stopped, drove home and allowed her to leave the house. I suppose he came back to his senses by this point and was perhaps in shock from his own actions. She came to my parents house where I still live. I was playing video games and listening to Enya. I am the polar opposite of my brother, but there is one thing that infuriates me and that's injustice. When I saw my sister's battered face and traumatized look I sat her down, wrapped a block of ice in a towel and gave her glass of water. I listened to what happened and tried to comfort her as best I could. In the meanwhile my father had already left on a war path straight to my brother's house. I gave it a thought while looking outside towards the sky. A strange feeling of rage built up, a calm rage is how I would describe it. I went upstairs and got myself dressed again, I told my mother and my sister that I was going to see if everything was alright with my father and brother, but I lied. I went to my brother's house to beat him down. After all those years of verbal abuse and having to deal with his inane rage, he had finally become violent. I had come very close to beating him up many times before, but I never did. I always restrained myself and searched for rational solutions instead, but not tonight. "Tonight he dies" I thought. I arrive at my brother's house and I ring the doorbell, my father opens the door and the situation seems completely calm. I see my brother sitting on the armrest of his couch with my little niece in his arms. I already understood, but my father explained to me that my brother was using her as a shield so he wouldn't do anything to him. Without skipping a beat I walk right up to him, grab his throat (larynx part) and squeezed as hard as I could, so he would stop using his child as a human shield. I finally wrestle her off of him, to which my father took her to safety while I proceeded with my assault. I'm throwing hay-makers left and right, but my brother makes for the ground to avoid them. While he is on his knees, I repeatedly kick his legs after which he stood up and tried to get away. I throw 2 round house kicks to his ribs and finally connect with a right hook so violent and full of rage that he gets launched head first against a cupboard and crumples to the ground. Some pent up rage still remained and I soccer kick his legs twice and yell some stuff at him I don't fully remember. I calm down a few seconds later and immediately I'm worried that I killed him, but thankfully it didn't get any worse than it already was. My dad stayed with him for the night, he threw up a few times, but refused to go to a hospital even after my pleading. He told me to go home and that I did enough already. Fast forward to the present (2 days later) and he finally agreed to go to the hospital, because the pain was getting too bad to deal with. The doctor said he has some fractures in his jaw and he must wait to hear if he needs surgery or not. I'll update this later. I have 2 problems now: 1. I love my brother, a lot. He was like my best friend and we did everything together. Watch football, play games, we help each other (mostly me helping him, but still) and we talk a lot about various things. I try to be source of good advice for him and I help him deal with many of his issues. But now, the memory of me punching him like that is screwing with me. I feel sad, angry, guilty and depressed and I go from one emotion to the other. 2. After years of begging him to go to therapy, so he could become a happier person he has not done so. He said many times that he would, but never did. This time was no different and now he is adamant that he can solve his issues on his own. I have no faith in that and judging from what he did to his wife (read again if necessary), I now suspect that in the worst case scenario, where he does not receive therapy and regresses even further, he might end up murdering his wife and child in a fit of blind rage. Now I must say that what I did was in no way the right thing. In that respect I'm hardly any better than my brother. I wrote all of this to have some outlet about all of this. It helped me organize my thoughts I suppose. If there's something you'd like to say to me, do so without restraint. I'm usually the logical and rational type, so I won't take it personal. *update* He needs surgery. His jaw is loose and his cheekbone is also fractured.