Help I Got A TKD Femme Fatale On My Tail

Hey guys and gals. Okay, apart from the humorous title, there's some actual truth behind it, and not just an obscure reference to some B movie from the 70's

Here's my predicament. I have a friend, she does Tae Kwon Do, she's pretty good at it from the looks of it, heck, what am I saying? She's actually the top female champion in the country! That gives you a fairly good idea of how good she is. Anyway, long story short, she likes to show off to us non-martial artists, and when I mean show off, I mean delivering mock kicks or punches literally millimetres away from us. She's pretty fast and she's pretty accurate. Now it's all fun and games, but that doesn't detract from the pretty uneasy knowledge that she could easily kick my ass, without me standing much of a chance, giving the only fighting experience I have is from watching WWE.

So...ususally, it'd be wise not to **** her off right? Well you see the thing is, I'm the kind of friend that likes to tease, and here comes my predicament...

We're more than friends but not in that way, so sometimes I can get away with alot of stuff and vice versa. We all like to play around and tease each other sometimes, it's human nature. Only one time, she wasn't in a very good mood. Despite the fact, I continued bantering with her, knowing full well that she knows not to take me seriously. Ok, you must be thinking what did I do? Enough pussyfooting. I simply made the mere joke of telling her I understood her bad mood, her being a woman and all. Before you verbally hang me...it was not malicious, not disrespectful but completely light-hearted. She then proceeded to tell me not to patronize her, which I responded with, "Come on, what're you gonna do?". Suicide? Perhaps, but my crucial mistake was to forget about a certain something. That's when she responded in all seriousness and with a look of grave danger on her face, "If you don't, I'll kick the **** out of you"

Alarm bells went off at that stage and I realized she was probably very deadly serious. "What right here in the parking lot?" She said matter-of-factly, "I'm not afraid to throw down anywhere". That's when I kinda took a step back and bailed out while the going was good. Now, I'm pretty weary of every bantering with her again which brings me to the question...what if she really does lose her temper and lashes out? Isn't it a rule or something for martial artists not to use their skills on non-martial artists? Lol, I don't know what I'd do in a situation where she actually would intend to kick my ass, knowing full well that she could do so. So, what do I do folks? How do you placate or defuse a rogue femme fatale martial artist without getting your ass kicked? Thanks for your time. Who better to ask than the horses mouth right? PS This time, you can take me seriously. Honest. I like my face.

Adios

- Blue

 

Wouldn't know:bang::cry:

 

Leg kicks.
TKD kryptonite.
When she gets back up again tell her to stop showing off and throwing her weight around.

 

If she'd do that she's not a martial artist, but rather a thug who knows martial arts - big difference.

Rules don't really come into it, integrity and conscience are far more relevant.

Hold her really tight, TKD can't deal with the clynch from what I've seen... Someone will correct me though no doubt!!

 

Tell her pain, especially from feet, give you an erection.

 

I've already tried the Masterson Lock on her from WWE (although this was just fooling around and not a serious attempt to contain her) and she got out of it pretty quickly and almost cracked my rib in the process lol. As for attacking her back, I'm not a violent guy (hitting girls is definitely not on the cards for me) but even if I did try and stop her, there's a huge difference. She's got a black belt and I don't. Well I do, but my black belt is of the leather, inconsequential, holding up your pants on a dinner evening kind.

Maybe I should just high-tail it and if ever, she decides to go Bruce Lee on my ass. There's no effective martial arts strategies against running right guys?

 

She sounds like an idiot.
I wouldn't need to do anything to her as I wouldn't hang around with her in the first place.

 

For starters, you can stop being a sexist idiot. Actually, I mean that seriously. Stop and think about it as if she was a guy friend instead of a girl friend. You would have exactly the same predicament, except you wouldn't be asking a forum full of strangers to solve it for you. You would flat out know that if you ****ed off your guy friend, whether he knows martial arts or is just bigger and badder than you are, that he would kick your scrawny behind for you. It's no different just because it happens to be a girl with the excessive testosterone and the ability to face plant you.

Don't be a jerk, and you won't cause people to want to mash in your face. Those are words that you can live your life by.

 

Hahaha. I'm not being sexist, although I may be an idiot. At least I'll admit that. What you're saying though is pretty irrelevant, considering the context of the situation as well as when you take into consideration, that friends always josh each other. We all like to tease each other. That particular dynamic has existed since time immemorial and it's got nothing to do with being labelled a "jerk" or any of the other conventional labels that are in vogue as we speak. Watch an episode of Entourage and you'll see what I'm talking about. I never did nothing wrong by the girl, but it's pretty strange to get threatened for joshing a friend.

PS Lighten up. This was posted under the jokes section, so go easy Confuscious.

PPS Not once, have I indicated that I was scrawny. Perception is a funny thing.

Arriverderci

 

The answer to your question is here. [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNxURJDQ6-E"]YouTube - ‪Fist Of Legend: Jet Li vs Billy Chau Fight Scene‬‏[/ame]

So you're Jet Li, and your friend is the steroid addict. You start fighting like Jet at 7:56.

Hope this helps.

 

pgsmith is right. What is a joke to you obviously was no joke to her - especially the suicide comment.

As for the question about not fighting, I don't agree. What people tend to forget (especially on internet forums) is that you can verbally assault someone as well - perhaps worse than physically which is what you did. I do not believe for a second that martial arts is all about being passive. If you want extreme passivity become a Quaker, but martial arts especially TKD and Internal Kung Fu has a lot of Taoist roots which doesn't line up with passivism. They are arts which teach there's a time to take a stand.

Denial is not just a river in Egypt. You don't have the right to declare if you are being sexist or not. The person who hears you (or reads your words) does. Just like I can't say "I'm a good martial artist." Only another person say if I am or not based on their experience. The fact you are still claiming this to all be a joke shows how you misunderstand the gravity of the situation your friend takes it to be. Me thinks you need to mend a fence with her.

Good luck.

 

He didn't comment about her committing suicide. Read it again.
He made a stupid joke about women and periods.
She overeacted. If she would actually really throw down with a supposed friend over a dumb joke about periods then she's an idiot IMHO.
For sure the joke was a bit crass but what man hasn't made a sly joke about women being a bit..."lively"...once a month?

 

yea he did PASmith - read it again:

 

Hey different strokes for different folks I guess. Lol, heck, I reckon 'taking a stand' against an obviously playful and unmalicious joke is a bit extreme, but hey that's just me. Call me crazy. The way our minds have been shaped, we're always looking for the 'good guy' or 'the bad guy' or what is 'black' or 'white', 'right' or 'wrong'. What happened to in the middle-ground, to a thing we call understanding. But I reckon I'm waxin' too philosophical there.

"So say goodnight to the 'bad guy'!"

 

I don't think that the suicide thing was a comment he made, but was saying that he was essentially committing suicide by making other stupid comments.

 

ah I see, my bad on that part.

 

you got a big point there. G'luck with mending fences.

 

Not another "verbal abuse is worse than physical abuse" person... I thought I physically abused those people out of existence... JUST KIDDING

and there's the other problem with what you say, he WAS just kidding. That's what it's origins were. If it turned into abuse when it got to her brain (which was probably hormonal at the time) that's her problem.

NOW, since she took offense, the friendly thing to do is to say "sorry 'bout that, I went too far, I do that sometimes..." and her reaction, if she's over her bad attitude, will be something like "That's 'k, I was just having a bad day, I don't want you to stop joking around, it was just me..."

In my humble oppinion, you didn't do anything morally wrong, but it still caused a problem you should take care of in a serious manner. Ya know?