Girls keep telling me Im intimidating to talk to... grr

Ive never really had problems with women before, but I just moved to Orlando where Im new in town and I dont really know anyone so things are becoming a bit more difficult.

Ive always been told that I was intimidating to talk to and recently a girl I just became friends with down here said that at first she thought I would be a cocky ahole that only wanted sex... which is obviously not true because now we're friends.

When Im out I try and be outgoing, smile alot, joke around and just overall have fun because I know that sitting at the bar and staring at people can be a bit intimidating but it seems that im still unapproachable.

What the hell? Im goofy as hell and a super-nerd... what makes me (or guys in general) seem to be a cocky butthole to the opposite sex?

Haha, its actually kinda funny because guys think the exact opposite and try and push me around a lot cuz im the tall skinny blonde guy

 

Maybe you just look like a rapist? :hat:

 

It's the black van and the large kitchen knife that does it. Gaffer tape in the vans glovebox is perfectly acceptable though

 

haha maybe... So I guess growing a mustache is out of the picture? Damn.

 

You say your new in the area? I would just keep doing what you do, that way when you run into someone you'll actually have something in common with them without having to fake anything. Then you can put all that horrid rape behind you

 

So... What youre saying is that I will become popular by being that "cocky ahole I keep seeing everywhere" which will in turn make me more approachable?

Brilliant!

 

Could be something in your body language that sends abnormal signals. I am told I look serious and aggressive a lot of the time, but I'm usually just thinking

 

What I'm saying is if you just act like your normal self then your friendships will be more meaningful when they arrive as you will not be having to compromise or hide who you are. Do not try and be anything.

 

If girls are sensing this, you may have to change your communication skills. Perhaps listen to more of what they have to say and less of what you want to.

 

I have the same problem. I just don't worry about and try to speak in a soft voice when I talk to women. Maybe the tallness is a factor? Try staying seated hahaha.

 

Well I dont really have any issues after initiating conversation with women (other than the normal ones every guy has )

The problem is Im giving off a cocky one-night stand vibe which is making girls who could potentially be interested in me hide in fear

 

hahaha thats funny u say that cuz my best friend always stays standing because hes kinda short and I always sit next to him because I feel giant

 

I don't really see what the problem is. It's when women start calling you "sweet" and a "nice guy" is when you should start worrying.

 

Touche.... I suppose there ARE worse things to be labeled as :O

 

Well a lot depends on if you are a man ho or your looking for that special relationship with one girl that finds you handsome and not intimidating looking.

 

It took me two girlfriends to understand that me being my shy, introverted, thinking self was actually giving off this silent disinterested look like I don't want to talk. Doesn't help that I'm 6'2

Easiest thing to do I think is to consciously smile more. Smiling is the least intimidating thing. Not smiling can be somewhat intimidating apparently

 

No way dude, not harsh at all, thats exactly what Im getting at! I KNOW the problem is with me so Ive tried to correct it by smiling more often and having a body language that is more open, and just trying to be friendly and talkative to everyone I talk to, but apparently its not enough.

The girls say that when my best friend and I hang out together is when its the worst... Maybe it has something to do with me and him having our own little world of hilarity and it looks like nobody else is invited? haha, I dunno...

Any other tips?

 

I used to be a man whore back home, but Im really trying to meet someone worth a damn now. Maybe its just that I cant escape that mold I created for myself, arg. I guess thats what they mean when they say you cant outrun your problems!