Frustration and pride!

Discussion in 'Karate' started by gemtkd, Feb 22, 2017.

  1. gemtkd

    gemtkd Valued Member

    My gorgeous 9 year old daughter after almost 9 months of training received her yellow belt. She was awesome, class was awesome, she was so proud.

    She took her yellow belt to school as a bit of a brag I guess. Bitchy 9 yo black belt started on her. "You didn't earn it" blah blah blah. (Ftr I know both the kid and the fact that her clubs barely 2 years old). I'm not saying miracles can't happen, but I know this kid and while at best could be technical, could absolutely not rock a bb anywhere ever.

    Basically it's left my daughter desperate to prove the girl wrong and wantsping to train day and night. I'm a tkd'r, and while most of our moves are similar I don't want to mess her teaching up so I have her do kata, kicks, punches etc and basically point out gross imperfections and where she can use speed and power.

    It seems though that as her mum whatever I say falls on deaf ears. I'm wrong and all and literally anyone else knows much more than me. Where do I go? What do I do?
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 22, 2017
  2. Pretty In Pink

    Pretty In Pink Valued Member MAP 2017 Gold Award

    This is a family friendly forum, you're not allowed to swear! Imagine if your daughter read that!

    As to "oh you didn't earn it" comment from the brat of a child, just let your daughter challenge her to a fight in TKD? Simplest way to prove whether or not she is good.
  3. aaradia

    aaradia Choy Li Fut and Yang Tai Chi Chuan Student Moderator Supporter

    Mod Note: Gemtk, glad to see you posting, but please refrain from the profanity - including masked profanity. Thanks!
  4. aaradia

    aaradia Choy Li Fut and Yang Tai Chi Chuan Student Moderator Supporter

    I think you need to teach your daughter about proper attitude in MA. First, she started off by bragging. A talk about humility would be good about now.

    Sharing n accomplishment is fine, but you said she did it to brag.

    Next, talk with her about how she shouldn't let what another kid thinks affect her so much. When one spends so much energy disproving someone, you are actually letting them affect you and get into your psyche way too much.

    Training all day and night is fine, but to do it to prove someone wrong? Not healthy.

    Training for the right reasons would be the lesson that IMO should be taught right now.

    Finally, you should tell her instructors about the whole thing.
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2017
  5. gemtkd

    gemtkd Valued Member

    First of all, apologies for the swear. I can't even remember what I wrote to be honest, bit of a rage post.

    Brag was perhaps a strong word. She worked very hard to get her yellow belt and was proud. Her instructor is aware and has assured her she earned her belt. He's also open to her taking an extra class.
  6. Dan93

    Dan93 Valued Member

    Just encourage her and give her praise for her achievements, good on her being so determined to prove her wrong.

    What I am more concerned about is what Dojo issues a dan grade to a nine year old within two years.... A black belt shows that you have a good understanding of the fundamentals of the system which I would argue takes longer than two years of training and is definitely out of reach of a child of nine years of age.
  7. Fish Of Doom

    Fish Of Doom Will : Mind : Motion Supporter

    "What I am more concerned about is what Dojo issues a dan grade to a nine year old within two years"

    This, and to one who puts down peers who recently passed their first grading, to boot. Might be worth contacting the other girl's school and letting them know one of their students is reflecting poorly on them, as one would hope they'd want to have a talk with the kid and let her know that that sort of behaviour is frowned upon. Who knows, may even help said other kid out in the long run too.
  8. Weave

    Weave New Member

    I find that people like to pull others down for their achievements; I remember years ago when I achieved by Shodan - I told everyone at school but a great number mocked. Me personally, I would never take my obi to show others - only my fellow practitioners and opponents see it. To this day, my closest friends have never seen my belt and I do not show it, why would I, after all it keeps my gi bottoms up (but this is another topic).

    As others have said, clearly mockery or ill behaviour is not a good reflection on the persons home dojo - I think a lesson of respect is required.

    Always take the higher ground
    - these are words to live by.
  9. bud00

    bud00 New Member

    I would say not to overreact, leave other kids opinion. It's life. There will always be someone who will tell that you don't deserve something or that they had to do a lot more to get what you have.

    At this topic comes to my mind a book The Four Agreements:
    1. Be Impeccable with your Word
    2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
    3. Don’t Make Assumptions
    4. Always Do Your Best

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