fear of sparring in competeting but need advice to get over my fear

hello i have problem

i hope to go back competing to sparring in competition in ITF TAEKWONDO
but i got afraid after incident i have in competition 10 years ago
i was sparring girl she nearly drove my teeth through my head with kick she kick me under the jaw full force i got fright i never compete again
i was so afraid. i would like to go back competing again but i don't know how competing again but i am afraid to but i don't know how to get over my fear
to get back in ring again. but i don't know how can any one help me.

please help .

 

Were you wearing a mouth guard when it happened? And I'm sorry to learn that it really shook you up. It sucks having to unlearn a phobia.

 

I competed a bit in the regionals and nationals in the UKTA/ITF some years ago. The classical guard position/fighting stance in taekwondo is a bit open for headshots, even in the ITF and more so in WTF. Things might have changed though mostly blocking is body level and evading for head level. If you worked with a higher guard then the downside is leaving your lowest rib open to a body kick. Gumshield and headguard for training, see if evading would still work or changing your guard opens you to more body shots. I think head shots got higher points so for those with the speed and flexibility head was the main target.

 

yes i was wearing gum shield. but hard for me to get over the fear .

 

Just back home from a competition and beeing a bit afraid of competing myself, I think I have some advise; find a tournament (or whatever you call it), where you know the participants, and trust them. That's what I experienced this week-end, and allthough we fought pretty hard, it was a good feeling to shake hands and cheer the winners; try and get the "we're a band of fighters"-feeling, not the "haha-I win, you loose"-attitude

 

yes that good advice but where i am competing DOING PATTERN sONLY there go very hard i won't know them there will be from different countries with years more experience then me this will be my 1st in 10 years i am will very very nervous .i went completion just to do pattern and 2 x15 years old kids(boys) knock each other unconscious they were stretcher out to hospital just example of what i mean they knew each other !

 

Hmm, then it sounds as if you should find some other sport to compete in. One guy that I fought this weekend is very experienced, and have won contests in many european countries, but he is a very nice guy, both in and outside the ring. I called him a "caring hurricane", and I challenged him spesifically, just so I could get the experience from fighting him. But your sporting events seems to be much-much more risky than my sport (Harnish-fechten in full harness and with blunt weapons), and then it's important that you're peered with someone on your own level, so that you're not blown to pieces. I think I still would stick to the advise to seek out someone that you trust and know to be honest and upstraight, and ask them to have a little private tournament with you, just to face your deamons, knowing there's no prestige, and knowing that they will fight you fair and square. Perhaps the experience will make you overcome your fear, and if it doesn't, I'd consider finding a new sport; harnish-fechten, perhaps

 

Sadly I don't think there's much help to be had.
Sparring will involve getting hit. Getting hit can involve getting injured or hurt.
And that's the way it is and that won't change even if you spar with friends or other people you trust.

So...seeing as you can't change the nature of the activity you then have to ask yourself how YOU want to respond to it.
The only real advice I can give is to get stuck back in.
Accept that it's fightening but do it anyway.

I've been almost crippled with nerves myself and really sympathise but after dealing with it for many years I've come to the conclusion that the answer is within you and that's where you need to look.

 

every one has nerves competing in the ring its get over it .is the problem i see plenty of people sparing they have no nerves they can't wait to get in there they no fear how they do that.i get scared quickly

 

People feel fear/nerves to differing degrees.
And I think that sort of fear threshold is complex and a result of genetics, upbringing and experience. It can change but you can't really start over.
All you can do is work with what threshold you have and go from there.

The toilets at martial arts competitions are usually pretty busy so that shows other people get nervous too.

Something like Geoff Thompson's fear pyramid might help.
Find something you are slightly nervous about doing (hold a spider, bungee jump or whatever) and do it.
Then find something slightly more challenging.
Do that over time and build up to sparring and competing.

 

This reminds me very much of myself when I first started the martial arts and also back when I did ITF Taekwon-do.

Now there's a couple of things that needs to be looked at here; what was going on in the build up to the incident that made you fearful of sparring?

Were you wearing a mouth guard or a helmet at the time?
Were you sparring someone more experienced than yourself?
What was the nature of the sparring match, was it a friendly/controlled spar (as in what you would normally do at your dojang) or was it a competition spar?
Was the match refereed?
How did your coach at the time handle the situation?
Were you admitted into hospital as a result?

Ask yourself these questions and try to go through the events of what happened. Then ask yourself, what would of you done differently at the time if you had to go through it again.

If I had to give a list of advice from what I learnt from personal experiences, this would be it:

Consider either joining a new dojang or a different martial art altogether. Sometimes familiar environments can trigger unwanted anxiety, by working in a new enviroment and with new people it might make it easier for you to overcome your fear of sparring.

Tell your coach about your fears of sparring, that way your coach can make exceptions and encourage you in areas you need encouragement in.

Consider starting over again as a beginner and learn the fundamentals of sparring. Partaking in an additional martial art can really help with this, such as Boxing (which would work fabulously with ITF Taekwon-do).

Ease into sparring, theres no need to rush through anything, learn to make sparring your time (where you get to dictate the rules, to begin with try something like this: Light sparring (no heavy contact) and no contact to the head) as you build your confidence up you'll find yourself wanting to challenge yourself more and more.

Get into the habit of wearing proper, protective sparring gear whenever sparring.

 

What ever you do, do not go into a fight thinking its going to happen again.

 

yes i was wearing both head guard and gum shield
yes i was sparring some more experienced she from my country but compete international which i didn't
it was charity competion yes it was controled to degree
no he entered in competion with out asking me i had no choice but to compete
no i was not admitted to hospital does subside the fear

i try talking to coach about my fears he said he have no time to deal with that problem

 

Oh dear. Leave the school. Seriously. He doesn't sound like he has your best interests at heart. Sounds like an idiot actually.
And you did have a choice not to compete.
How old are you?

 

at time i was 19 years old .i try back of it he said no . i have left him you right he idiot huge one.no he gave me no choice never even asked me he told he she was NOT strong she like bull and very strong he said she wasn't and feed false information on top of it

 

My friend, I'd get out of that school FAST. They are playing games with your safety-both physical,mental and spiritual.
As for sparring, I think you first have to work out exactly WHAT you are scared of. Face up to that first before going to far, if you push yourself you might make it worse-find out what it is that bothers you and attack that first.
Quite a few years back now, I competed in my first ever grapple&strike tourney. The week leading up to it was horrendous, I had this pervading sense of dread all week. I thought about it in all the quite moments I had to myself. On the morning my arms and legs were like lead and my heart seemed fluttery and shakey.
When I walked out onto the mat, my hands were shaking and I couldn't look at the crowd
Afterwards as I was getting up, I managed a grin at my opponent who came over and shook my hand-the feeling of having done it finally was electric

You ain't alone my friend, we all go through it. Take it steady and ease back into it-but don't give up!

 

Damn good post that.
What I've found is that my apprehension about an upcoming "event" is worse than the actual event.
I generally end up thinking "Well that wasn't so bad".
Damn mind...playing tricks on us.

 

:happy:What he said.

 

I was in a friendly sparring match while visiting a martial arts school and took a turn kick full in the face. The guy didn't mean to hit me that hard, it was just an accident but yeah...hurt and just about knocked me out. It did rattle me and I felt shaky and scared stepping back into the match.

I had to finish the match with cotton in my nose to stop the bleeding. Both teacher and sparring partner told me I did not have to finish the match and looked at me kind of strange when I said no I needed to get back in there. I sort of felt at the time it was like falling off a horse, if you don't get back on you might never get back on. We finished the match and all was well. I consider both people to be my friends to this day.

The bottom line is your teacher should have your welfare at heart, if you feel they don't then you should find somebody else. Sparring is really just a part of martial arts not the whole show. Tournaments are something you probably don't even need to do.

I haven't been to one in years and I continue to grow in my art. I do think when you've found a safe environment and teacher to practice with again you need to spar again till you've overcome your fear. Your own mind can sometimes be your worst enemy.