ever forget the reason you train?

Quick reply, the list of possible side effects on all drugs look scary, that's because its a list of everything ever recorded, try them, and if the side effects are bad, talk to your Dr who will try you on different types until you find one that fits you best.

PS good luck!

 

I'm kind of backwards.

When I started I actually did not know why. My Dad was a Pak Mei instructor, so when I was old enough (I guess) he taught me motions and moves. Then I got dumped into a group and told to crack on.
For a long while, I was treating it as a social/exercise group, like being at school and it was the norm.

I carried on for a while then stopped due to the family wanting me to concentrate on my studies...(be a Dr/Lawyer/Accountant kind of mentality)

And even though I had a few years break, my muscle memory would kick in and keep doing certain practices. As I got older and I looked into my culture further.

I was pretty much the only Chinese person in my school/year all the way up to 16. All my friends were of different nationalities and me and my parents had issues communicating at times as they couldn't speak a word of English and I wasn't learning the lingo good enough. My older Brother was born in Hong Kong and my younger sister was sent to live with her cousins as we couldn't afford to raise her.
Which left me being the middle child and all the issues that come with.
I'm 14yrs old, working in a take away, serving Fish and Chips, being the only Chinese family miles around, plotted in between 5 pubs.
I suffered years of racial abuse from everyone. And I mean everyone. White, Brown, Black, Mixed, Man, Woman, Child, Ginger....

It wasn't till I was older that I discovered (or at least rediscovered) the reason I trained.

This is my family legacy that my Dad wanted to start within us. He knew he wasn't in a position to educate me and my Brother about what it is to be "Chinese", he knew that being an immigrant, and although we were very much welcomed, we would be facing adversity in some points in our lives and he wanted us to be ready and to be reminded as to where we came from.
Hence also why he dumped me into a group, they , like me, were in similar position. All learning about our culture, without realising what we were really there for.

It also explains as to why I think the way I do. When people ask me about the "spirituality" of my style, I shrug my shoulders and say "Dunno, punch em in the face and it makes no difference".

So I never forgot the reason why I train, I learnt the reason why I have to.

 

FWIW, I've struggled with severe depression ever since I was 14, and medication has had a huge positive effect on my life.

 

I'm just hoping I dont need to depend on medication long term, it's Prozac

 

Think of meds like a pair of crutches with a broken leg, they take the pressure off whilst the injury heals, if you don't use them its more difficult to get the leg to heal, but once its healed you won't need them anymore. There just a tool.

 

And that is your considered opinion as an M.D.?

Sometimes meds are temporary indeed, just like you describe. But it is just as possible for meds to be something permanent. I know several people who are on psych meds, and who can get by just fine as long as they keep taking their meds regularly, and who go off the rails again if they quit.

 

Hence why I said (in the context of depression and not anything else) once its healed, if it never heals then you use the crutch long term instead.

In treating depression, in the UK, we use a combined approach of anti depressants and talking therapies, generally people do not stay on antidepessents long term, although they may do if its required.

And no I'm not a Dr, (although I am a registered medical professional) and neither was that medical advice, it was more encouragement to engage with his Dr, who is the only person people should really listen to in this context.

 

As a heads up to everyone who has posted, Im not on medication. It's a low level prozac dose of 20mg. Currently (and surrprisingly) my sleep patterns and mood have had huge changes from the moment I started. I'm still feeling a bit more tired than I'd like to, but Im finding with a support network, the medication and a break Im feeling much better over all.

I've also decided to sit back and think more about what I want out of my training. I got my nice 1st dan in the bujinkan but honestly, I think it was more down to my teacher and his approach to the art that made me want to stay. I checked out others and its just not the same to me as it is. Forcing that continuation has left me somewhat jaded.

Instead, Im gonna go look for something thats A: local and not needing nearly four hours of my day travelling to get to and B: is fun

 

Yes! Find something that's fun! I have found myself in a similar situation a few times - why do I train? I always ask people, when they ask me what I think of their school/style, "Why do you train, and are you getting it?" As my current school just lost our location, I'm approaching that question again, as my needs have changed in the course of the past 10 years. I've trained for exercise, to compete, and for something to do. But as my competition days are likely over (and we're not a competition-based school anyway. I just happened to win more tournaments then lost), and I'm helping to look for a new location, but not sure if I want to find a new style to do, I come back to this very issue.

 

See in a weird way of late, since my bujinkan dojo shut and my sensei stopped teaching, i tried other bujinkan clubs and found the training rather different to what I witnessed (at ours, we actually hit each other), but my original school was fun, I had a great friendship with my sensei and I think that was definitely what made me stick at it, but we were all laid back too. I checked out other dojos and there was quite different approaches (everyone super formal, no contact) and it just didn't sit well with me as a person.

I tried other styles for a while and honestly while Im not looking to compete in tournaments and leave class with a bloody nose every week, I do want to know Im training something that will challenge me, help my confidence and give me joy to study. I still see a guy in Manchester to go over kung fu as a closed door student (we have a day once a month for a few hours study) but theres a karate school up the road from my house and I like the environment, the teacher and convinience, plus the art itself (doesnt hurt that the teacher also does BJJ and kickboxing to boot)

When I was checking out other styles over a period of months (Hung Ga, Shuai Jiao, Wing Chun, Aikido, Boxing etc) , I was often taking journeys that by the time I set off, trained and got home, half a day had been spent, and with the anxiety that left me absolutely knackered multiple times a week.

 

Hi all, I know I've been quite abscent of late, an update though on my circumstances.

I've been on medication for nearly two months, and its made an absolute monster of a difference to most of my life and my training as well. I'm staying training at First Dojo in the Blackpool area for, to focus on Goju Ryu Karate. We have regular sparring (Which is a massive plus) and very strong focus on fitness as well. My sensei pushes us hard, and also teaches Brazilian Jujitsu and Shin Atemi. Both of these other styles get brought into some classes regularly as Shin Atemi contains elements of Judo and Jujitsu's ground fighting, so we get a rounded approach as opposed to just stand up fighting.

Even though Im focusing on this, I still see my sifu in Manchester, Chris, on a one-to-one basis for intensive training. He teaches a lot of different styles (not strictly chinese, we had a big capoeira seminar a few weeks back, for example) but I'm going to work on focusing on the Si Ji Hao style he teaches (a Lama Pai/Tibetan White Crane style) as opposed to trying to cram loads of info in at once.

I have some plans for some hot spots I want to visit for a training venture abroad (like going to Thailand to see what the Muay Thai culture is like there) but those Im going to leave till Im significantly more proficient with what's on my plate.

I know I've asked a lot of questions and tried a lot of different things in the last 12 month period, and I feel my experiences of looking around have been interesting in their own way, but now I've got a focus for my training to work on. I wanted to thank everyone here for everything they've done, be it answering questions to being supportive through my recovery.

 

Nice one, good luck bro!