Depression Coming Back

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by Pretty In Pink, Apr 23, 2016.

  1. Van Zandt

    Van Zandt Mr. High Kick

    Yeah, they can be handy to keep hold of and share with a therapist if the author decides to take counselling.
     
  2. flaming

    flaming Valued Member

    :topic: feel like :bang: today
     
  3. raaeoh

    raaeoh never tell me the odds

    Read your op, and just responded. Depression is a family trait for me. It can be rough brother. Secret here.. i have cried over a facebook post. This will never be mentioned agian.

    You have a huge advantage with a group like this. Mappers don't always agree and often argue about the dumbest stuff, but believe it or not it's a weired family thing. We come here to talk amongst ourselves about stuff that others just don't get. Or care to hear about.

    We all have your back.
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2016
  4. Paddleincircles

    Paddleincircles Valued Member

    Hiya Chadderz

    It is really healthy that you have decided to open up about it!!

    It isn't so much who you speak to about it, rather how honest you are (with yourself first).

    I speak from experience mate. I have suffered from depression for many years after witnessing some truly awful stuff happen to a person I love. This ended up with me living at the bottom of a deep bottle of Smirnoff for nearly a decade, and think daily about how "better off my loved ones and the whole world would be without me".
    Even my wonderful daughter.....

    open and honest conversations with people you feel comfortable speaking to is a huge benefit!! Removing yourself from a pattern of negative behaviour can be invaluable (e.g I've noticed I always feel like rubbish after I have visited my loved ones, then gone home on my home).
    Sometimes just recognising that pattern or getting someone you trust to observe and try to identify it for you can help you to see those times/places/people/activities that preceded your low times. And then you can start to alter that pattern.

    Of course if you have a problem that is known only to yourself, seeking a professional in that particular area is highly advisable!!!!

    I really hope that you start to understand why it's happening mate. It'll change you forever!!

    That is why martial arts is so important to me. THAT is what I do to change those moments of darkness that used to wash over me.....

    Please don't ever worry about how your feelings affect the people you contact to help you!!!
    If they are professionals, they will value speaking to you a great deal. That's why they do it!
    I work on an ambulance. I often spend hours with people who are right on the edge. I am priveledged to be allowed into thier homes, and honoured they would open up thier most intimate feelings to me. If I can help, I will. If I can't I'll be honest, but try my hardest to find somebody who can.

    You are not alone mate. Far from it! If you need to talk, do it however feels best for you.

    And worst case scenario, if you find that it's come down to the last individual in the world you haven't tried and you are not looking for a professional......
    I absolutely offer you my contact details if you want an impartial non judgemental ear to bend. Day or night. I mean it.

    The future ain't orange mate. It is bright though!!!!
     
  5. Pretty In Pink

    Pretty In Pink Moved on MAP 2017 Gold Award

    PM sent man :)
     
  6. flaming

    flaming Valued Member

    Thanks for this thread. It really helped me today.
     
  7. raaeoh

    raaeoh never tell me the odds

    Chadderz. I am not trying to.hijack your thread in any way. Nor am I saying your experince is the same as mine. Just using yours to cower behind.

    I have been struggling with Alchol for over a year now. Since my double shoulder dislocation.I think It hurts I drink. I get ****ed that I am drinking I drink more. Sorry map for the drunk posts by the way. There have been a few.

    It really has affected my training and it really makes me angry Wich leads me to drink even more. This is of course how I have handled my depression.

    I struggle every day I have come.close to drinking before I teach. Wich adds to the the guilt and the problem. I will win my battle as will you and everyone else who has a personal demon.
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2016
  8. flaming

    flaming Valued Member

    Yep I drank too much unsocially and I apolagize for my posts over the last year and a half. But I'm off all my self medication now. :rolleyes:
     
  9. YouKnowWho

    YouKnowWho Valued Member

    Most people only pay attention on what they don't have, they don't pay enough attention on what they already have. If I'm at your age of 25, I'll flip in the air and enjoy my life every single minute.

    One time I hiked from lake to lake in the woods. When I arrived at one lake, there were hundreds of mosquitoes that attacked on my body at the same time. I ran around 1/2 mile, there were only less than 10 mosquitoes that attacked on my body. I suddenly felt that I was in heaven. Since then, as long as my body is not in serious pain, I can truly appreciate my life.

    It should not take that much to enjoy your life. Just look around. You will find out how lucky you really are.

    Old saying said,

    - 3 legs frog may be hard to find, but 2 legs girls are all over the place.
    - A tea pot can server many tea cups. One broken tea cup means nothing and should not affect the tea pot.
    - You may like to drink milk, but you don't need to raise a cow in your backyard.
    - The new won't come until the old is gone.
    - ...

    I love my girl because she always tells me,"You need to find more girls for yourself. You are just too strong for me. I can't handle you all by myself." :)
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2016
  10. aaradia

    aaradia Choy Li Fut and Yang Tai Chi Chuan Student Moderator Supporter

    When someone has a chemical imbalance, it just isn't that easy. And it is really hard to explain why you can't just easily change your perspective in the way you describe.

    It isn't that simple.

    I get that sort of thing with my OCD. "Why do you have to go check the stove again- you just saw the buttons were off? Why do you have to look to see the faucet isn't running? Can't you hear the water isn't running?"

    When someone has something in their brain that isn't functioning quite properly, just telling them they should be able to be different really isn't helpful. (Even if your intention was to be helpful here.) It just adds to the stigma associated with various mental ailments. It can, in some cases, also add to feelings of shame, guilt, and frustration with oneself, because one gets down on themselves for not being able to just stop the feeling, behavior, etc. And it those negative feelings then add to make you feel MORE depressed (or need to check things more or whatever). It then turns into a vicious cycle.
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2016
  11. Latikos

    Latikos Valued Member

    +1

    I mean, I do get that the comment wasn't meant in a bad way, but it's just not helping at all.

    When looking at some pictures on the net I stumbled across one that was something like: "To as a person with depression: "Why not just be happy?!" is like asking someone with asthma: "Why not just breath, there's enough air around?!"

    I thought that sort of fit really well.

    Having real depressions and not just some bad mood, because it was a bad day is way more then just being a sad.

    Most severe cases don't find any motivation to even leave their beds, let alone to just be happy.

    I was lucky enough to have that "fun" in not such a severe case, but only a light case of it (probably still have it, but I just got better at working with it and being a lucky case, where sport actually does help and is not just another well-mentioned tip).

    And I certainly hope that it's not *that bad* for Chadderz or anyone here on the forums. Or their loved ones.
     
  12. Van Zandt

    Van Zandt Mr. High Kick

  13. liero

    liero Valued Member

    To Chadderz and all the other people who have written about their struggles. I wish you all support I can over the internet. This thread and a few others I have witnessed over the years amaze me at the level of care the MAP community has for its members!

    When I have had to deal with difficult external circumstances, or my self-sabotaging feelings and thoughts I have found mindfullness, meditation and the principles of A.C.T. Therapy to be transformative.

    Here is a video linked to a series of meditation exercises I use daily.

    [ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTCXcxLjNcA"]Mindfulness Meditation Track 8 - The Three Minute Breathing Space - YouTube[/ame]

    This book is a classic of how to work through depression with mindfullness

    The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness (Book & CD)

    My personal favourite is:

    Get Out of Your Mind and into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Steven C. Hayes, Spencer Smith,

    I spent about a year working through the activities in this book and it changed my life for the better. I highly recommend anyone to obtain it.

    Hopefully these book recommendations don't breach any TOS issues. Like the websites posted and helping services I think they are invaluable. That being said. When at the bottom of your ability to deal with things, speaking to a professional is likely to be invaluable.
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2016
  14. Pretty In Pink

    Pretty In Pink Moved on MAP 2017 Gold Award

    Advice has all been fantastic and I really appreciate it. Next time I'm feeling down I'm going to call Samaritans. Came close last night.

    Diet is bad and I really can't be bothered training. Like, I'm motivated now, but come time to actually go, I brick it and cancel. :(
     
  15. flaming

    flaming Valued Member

    We are here...
     
  16. cloudz

    cloudz Valued Member

    Something that helped me in the past was volunteering to do a bit of Charity work. It was Help the Aged, but there are so many worthy causes around.
    I would also pay attention to what Liero posted.

    take care.
     
  17. David Harrison

    David Harrison MAPper without portfolio

    This is where meditation was really helpful for me. Not that I'd sit and meditate for an hour and feel better, but the tools it gave me that allow me to observe thoughts and feelings rather than always be consumed by them. The Acceptance and Commitment Therapy that Liero mentions works on a similar basis, as far as I've gathered from discussions with a friend who has studied it as part of their work. It's not that you try and lock down your feelings, which only leads to more inner turmoil, but you learn to accept them.

    We can all get feelings of anxiety, laziness, or anxiety masquerading as laziness. It's how you respond to them that matters. If you know that you will feel good, or at least not worse, by going to training, then try and observe those feelings of not wanting to go from a bit of a distance. However you do it, I think it is good to be aware of those feelings but not give in to them. Again, I'm not saying the way I do it is the healthiest, but I spent years developing a "shut up and do it" mindset. You don't have to feel positive and motivated, you just have to shut up and do it.

    Thoughts affect behaviour, but the opposite is also true. I think being able to decide upon your behaviour, no matter what your thoughts and feelings about it, is the foundation stone of self change.
     
  18. flaming

    flaming Valued Member

    [ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2H5Se-9XAVE"]Fine Young Cannibals - Johnny Come Home - YouTube[/ame]

    :topic::simon::mitch::Aegis::saz:
     
  19. flaming

    flaming Valued Member

    This song helped me, but I used sing 'won't you leave your home...

    :(
     
  20. flaming

    flaming Valued Member

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