Daughter Off To College

As a parent it can be hard not to become a little bit paranoid at times I think the general advice already given by others here of building up a sound base of friends to hang out with and having folks looking after eachother is best option. Another thing; if you are near enough and have the oppurtunity, let them know they can always call you up to get a ride back home from a party/ alternatively tell them to get a cab back home / to the campus on your expense if they are out late. In particular if, for some reason, they get split up from their group of friends during the late night/ early moring hours.

 

One thing that struck me as I got older was how different my perception of things changed.
When I was at Uni I'd often walk my female friends home at the end of the night. I'll be honest and say that sometimes I was doing that for the right reasons (helping keep them safe, etc) and sometimes I was hoping I'd be asked in for "coffee". And by "coffee" I really mean some nooky.
Now with hindsight and more knowledge of the situation I've realised that "nice boy that walks you home in the hope of something sexual" is much more of a risk to women than "random stranger that jumps out of the bushes". But at the time I didn't realise I was putting myself in that role and maybe my female friends saw what I was doing differently to me (and obviously I wasn't actually a danger to my female friends).
When my daughter goes to Uni I will effectively have to warn her to be wary of men like I was. Weird.

 

I recommend a torch, and you say the most useful part of the torch, is the light that comes out of the end. Why do you think I was recommending it?

My kubotan reference was specifically explained as a size guide. (purely as it is more comfortable than carry a normal bulkier torch.

 

Perhaps torches where you live are more complex, but in the UK torches traditional have one button, used to turn it on and off.

I'm not sure why you would require training to operate such a device?

Turn it on, shine it in their eyes to blind/distract, punch/kick them, run away. :bang:

 

So you want to completely ignore Cooper Colour codes, target hardening skills, threat awareness & evaluation skills, verbal de-escalation, and all the other non physical self protection skills, and go straight to "stab them"?

 

Crikey, no need to beat yourself up! There's nothing wrong with hoping for nookie as long as you gracefully accept the situation if your hopes are dashed.

 

I don't think he was beating himself up, so much as realising there's no way he can tell his daughter how to differentiate between nice, if hopeful, boys, and boys who won't take no for an answer. So his old self is out of luck, because accepting that walk home is not stacking the odds of the situation in favour of said lady.

 

I'm not beating myself up. Just looking at the situation from a different perspective and with more knowledge of such matters.

Had to gracefully accept that all to often.

 

To be fair in those days I don't think my female friends would have realised a friendly acquaintance with ulterior motives was more of a danger/risk than the "rapist in the bushes" so were glad of the company on the walk home.

 

I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea. I have attended and taught many self defense seminars. From kids, juvenile teens, college, and adult levels. My daughter has the grand scheme of these as I had taught her. (As for teens and college-date rape, drugs being slipped in drinks, etc.) Her mother is the biggest worry wart.

I do not like the idea of weapons on campus (Likewise to when she was in high school) A weapon, as I have come to realize with sense a long time ago, will not protect or create a invisible shield when someone already has bullets flying. And also, many people with weapons, misuses them


I seen, once a gun show many years ago, that there was body armor in the form of school back packs. The armor was lined in front and back, which looked and functioned like a regular back pack

That all said, she survived high school with what I had taught her, along with the very wits she had created

I do not have a fear like her mother, I have a desire to satisfy her mother to put her at ease

 

i never expected nooky but would raid cupboards for food before passing out on the floor covered in peanut butter

good times

 

Sounds like you have the basic skillset covered. If it is just to make her mother feel better, a small folding knife or a decent torch have good utilitarian purpose, are easy to carry and can be used in a crisis. As the previous poster suggested, Spyderco are great but I'd go to a store and try a few so there is one she is happy with and can manipulate easily. Likewise a good torch that fits her hand

 

Carrying a knife has the potential to turn a gbh incident into a fatality , I think if I suggested my daughter started taking one to college she'd quite rightly question my judgement.

 

If you carry a knife you've just added the possibility of being stabbed with your own knife.

If you absolutely have to give her something, a rape alarm and a can of pepper spray should be enough. At least she can add some seasoning to her food if nothing else.

 

This was my point . My daughter is strong and fit , she began martial arts training kickboxing aged 8 , if she's going to be overcome by a stronger assailant a knife is a liability to her own safety. Being female does'nt really
come into it.

 

While my daughter would rather a firearm, as she owns a few long guns and had trained, she is not of age to legally own a pistol and carry. But, as she normally follows my mindset about firearms, she would never carry one on campus


A whistle-alarm, good OC spray, and a small utilitarian knife, should put her mom at ease. A knife would not be there for the actual use as much as to satisfy her mother's worry.

On another note; Colleges have safety pamphlets and courses she could look into.

My daughter trusted her wit and instinct in high school, she can apply the same in college

As for my view, college campus are somewhat like high school campus. In some cases of high school, some students acted like adults and others are acted like juveniles......oh, wait, this can be in college also

 

I'd go for an electronic one. They can be louder, and they keep going without having to blow through them.

 

I always carry - always. And I use it daily for a million things that do not even come close to being combative. Something like a Spyderco Ladybug is small and inoffensive and very useful day to day. It will satisfy the concerns of the mother and provide the daughter with something actually useful outside of the 1% chance of a physical encounter

Rape alarms and whistles are only useful if carried and as they have zero additional function they may be neglected or simply ignored

 

But I would have thought that a rape alarm is more likely to bring about a better outcome should the worst occur.

I completely agree about the utility of a knife, but as a weapon I'd be more inclined to use it (if I were to use it at all) folded to hammer fist with, if the opponent were unarmed.