how do people cope up with deaths? it's a sad fact of life. everybody knows everybody's going to die someday, yet people don't really talk about it. i'm not afraid of death, as my sig says, but i can't help but feel sad for the loss of someone special. a very good friend passed away the other day. she was 22, very very pretty, and with tons of suitors. i never really tried to date her, because i treated her like a little sis. very flirty, very outgoing, always smiling, never a dull moment with her. a beach girl, a party girl, articulate, funny, really bright, cute, single, eyebrows oozing with sex appeal, a body to die for, the two cutest dimples ever, and a smile that could brighten up the room every damn time she enters any area. we were out clubbing till 1am the other day... being the bro that i am, i had to insist that we go home cause it was late (yeah right... actually i was unusually sleepy that morn, considering i had a grand total of two light beers, i had no idea why i was feeling like shyte that early morn). of course she'll say no, and of course she'll insist that i leave- i expected that. after all, she could ask any guy out there to drive her home if she batted an eyelash. i dragged her to my car so i could leave her to another place where i know some of her friends would still be hanging out. and i left for home. at 1:12. (my time is advanced by about... 10 mins give or take a min or two) according to "friends" who were with her, she was unconcious around 1:15, and nobody did anything until around 2:30, where people found her starting to turn pale and white. of course nobody there had the knowledge to do cpr, and of course, not one of her idiotic friends had the brains to check whether or not she was just unconciously drunk, or just unconcious. she was doa at the hospital, reports say, of cardiac arrest. i have no idea if she had any history, since she never told, and we never spoke about it. i don't think it was the mixed drinks or the food. or the interaction with one another. because i'm not smart enough to check on those. i never cry at funerals. i guess it's different with deaths in the family. people dying with old age- i guess you learn to accept it- and sometimes even wonder when their time will come. you kind of expect it. knowing the time will come, just asking yourself when it's going to happen. it's different with friends. it's painful with close friends. it's getting stabbed in the chest with a 6" serrated knife. only twice the pain and thrice the scars. knowing that you could have been there but wasn't. knowing that you could have done something, but chose not to. knowing that the moments you shared will forever be etched in your mind. forever. if she was here, she'd tell me to stop worrying. to stop crying. but she's not here. how could she? she's out partying. where angels fly, instead of people grinding. where harps are played instead of techno and rock. where beer and booze is passed in favor of honey and wine. i miss you so much babe. here's one for the road. may you walk the path you always wanted to travel, may you soar as high as the heavens above, and may you fly... to where you heart takes you to. i miss you so so so so so so much. on a little bright note, i keep remembering a funny quote that sticks into my mind whenever i think of her, the jolly little gal that she is... "i'm not afraid of death, i just don't want to be there when it happens" - can't remember who said that... but i'm sure that put a smile on her face if she's reading this...
Loosing somebody you care about is the worst thing that can happen to you in life. People cope because they don't have an alternative, and they do this by grieving, it doesn't make things OK but it does allow you to let go of the person and get on with your life.
My deepest sympathies to you and all who knew her, glenchuy. Grieving is different for each person, and even the same person may not grieve the same way twice. Mourn your friend the way you need to and accept that there are no rights and wrongs about it, just whatever gets you through.
People deal with it in very different ways. I'm pretty sure that even writing this thread was a way to let it out a little. I've never lost anybody I was that close to. But you seem religious. So honour her memory well and imagine her soul in a place that's much better than here. Be there for her family. They're hurting just as much as you. All the best.
yeah, writing this and expressing it out to people who i don't know was a very much needed outlet, i had kept all these emotions bottled up for too long, i felt that it was going to implode in me if i didn't let it out last night. had a long talk with her family and we recalled how she used to make us all laugh and how bubbly she was. and how she'd had so many stuff to do and how she'd amazingly pull off everything- usually to the detriment of sleep. she had plans for everything. and i mean everything. i finally had the balls to look into the casket during her wake today. she looked different. she looked distressed. her face wasn't only pale, it was gray. the make-up artist didn't do her justice. as i peeked through the casket, a part of me just died. there she was, all quiet, sober, i could swear she was frowning. i wanted to smile, but couldn't. sorry babe. her aunt actually forced me to look. i was content looking at her pics. for the first time in a very long time, i was afraid. to see what's become of her. i couldn't help but shed a tear. i didn't want to look, the less i saw, the less i had to believe. i tried to sound and look happy, but my voice betrayed me as i was talking with her relatives. it seems we all miss one thing about her- her smile. i didn't want to leave, but i had to. the more i stay there, the more i missed her. images of her flashed in my mind, and i caught myself staring blankly at the ceiling a lot more times than i'm willing to admit. i know i shouldn't feel sad, she'd have hated that. she used to lean on my shoulder when she felt sad. now i needed hers. i think i sat on one corner of the room for about ten minutes all by myself. the others probably knew i needed to be alone, and left me there. how could they all feign to be so... happy? i remember how excited she was when i told her that we were building a new office for their department. "does it have new computers?" she asked. "yup. every single furniture is brand new." "do i get the window rooms?" "it's not for me to decide, but i think i can pull a few strings." "promise?" "yeah... i'll work something out." she'll be buried tomorrow. may you finally rest in peace lil sis. i guess it's finally time to move on. a part of me still believes that this is all a dream. my mind refuses to accept it. but i'm preparing myself for life without her. life after all, must go on. bye laine, i'll make sure your building is finished on time. i'll make sure the best room in the building is vacant on the first day of operations so i can put your pics on the desk. farewell laine... and if you're reading this... lot's of love, "yes i promise" -glen
