Being mediocre at everything-Not having a passion

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by RaKzaroK, Nov 23, 2013.

  1. RaKzaroK

    RaKzaroK Valued Member

    Hey all.

    So, I have been thinking, I am 19 years old but I'm pretty much mediocre at everything - I've noticed the same thing at many friends / family of mine -.
    Let me tell you why:

    I have always been a normal boy, but as long as I can remember me, I can't remember having a big dream, and this makes me feel sad.
    At 10-14 years old, I got fat, too fat for my height and then I started sports to counter this.

    -I did counter this, I did become a fit person, I am a fit person now, I love working out, but, the thing is, I don't have big dreams, for anything. I did get thinner and more good-looking, but for example, I don't really care about a full six-pack or being shredded, I don't really care about taking my nutrition and training on a higher level.

    -I have 3 medals at the National League of Canoe-Kayak, which I got at 16-17 years old, and of course, something like this IS an achievement, it made me really happy and gave me the feeling that hard work means success.

    -I got in Engineering School with a grade of 17.400 / 20.000, I have a general High School grade of 19.0 / 20 but the thing is, I'm not the best, and what's even more worse, I DON'T WANT TO BE THE BEST.

    -I'm now practicing Japanese and Brazilian Ju Jitsu, I'm having a lot of fun, I'm giving it almost my all, I might participate at tournaments, but again, I don't want to be the best ( and I know this is somehow impossible, starting Martial Arts at 19 years ).

    What I'm trying to say is, I don't feel the need for greatness at something particular and I suppose that's bad, I don't want to be the best or one of the best engineers, I don't want to be an elite martial artist, when kayaking I didn't REALLY want to go further than my 3 medals, I was happy with that.

    I know I have achieved things at Sports / Studies, I gave much to achieve them, BUT I could give more, I could give it my all.

    Generally, what I want, is being healthy and able to live normally with the same applying to my family and real friends.

    That seems somehow bad and miserable to me, not having any big dream to motivate myself to.

    What do you think?
    Am I a p*ssy, am I lost?
    I'm asking seriously, these thoughts have been in my head for a long time.
    Thanks in advance.
     
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2013
  2. belltoller

    belltoller OffTopic MonstreOrdinaire Supporter

    Greece has a cracker paratrooper outfit, the First Raider Brigade? Why don't you join that?

    Sometimes being taken out of our comfy environments is just the thing we need to gain the perspective that we are really not the centre of it all, in fact, feel blessed to have a chance of one day, being able to sit in an ice cream parlour and enjoy taking a breath for a few moments.
     
  3. ap Oweyn

    ap Oweyn Ret. Supporter

    What's so terribly wrong with being normal?

    If you were being less negative about yourself, you might describe that same set of behaviours and priorities as being "well balanced."

    I'm the same way. I have a few achievements, but nothing mind blowing. I'm not great at anything. But I'm good at a few things. I'm proud of my relationships with family and friends. I'm respected at work. And I enjoy doing things without feeling the pressure to excel at them. I don't regret that anymore, though I can remember feeling differently (a bit) when I was younger.

    Perhaps you're not wired for obsessive|competitive|type A. And so what? Find the positives in how you ARE wired.
     
  4. Fish Of Doom

    Fish Of Doom Will : Mind : Motion Supporter

    the main problem i see here is that you seem to think that you NEED one, but since you don't have one, you're unhappy even though you excel at many things.

    one simple solution comes to mind, which can be approached in two ways: keep trying new things, particularly those that are challenging to master.

    essentially, you have a good life, and you excel at many things, but none of those things "call" to you enough that you want to dedicate yourself to them. on one hand, many people with ambitions and high dedication, on the other hand, don't live happy lives, and many crash and burn in pursuit of their goals, therefore if you can stop worrying and enjoy what you have, you'll have solved the problem, and trying new things will keep you engaged and busy rather than having you wallow in your perceived flaw, because you'll always be trying to improve unfamiliar skills, and most likely the worst you'll get out of it is a tremendous body of physical skills and knowledge. when you get bored or find that something doesn't suit your fancy, move on to something else. on the other hand, a constant flow of new activities will also increase the chances of you finding something that you actually DO want to dedicate yourself to. your choices are limitless, and one of them is to make the search itself for something worthy of an ambition your primary goal.

    one approach negates the self-imposed flaw, the other actively seeks to correct it, and both should keep you engaged enough in different areas that whatever periods of dwelling on your problem you find yourself entering should be minimal.
     
  5. Ero-Sennin

    Ero-Sennin Well-Known Member Supporter

    I always feel bad for people who are "the best" in something. That usually means they are good at one thing, lack life experiences, and have missed out on a lot of things life has to offer. Sure it's great to be the best and all, but if your life revolves around being the best in the 100 meter sprint, winning a nobel prize for chemistry, or doing a hostile takeover on the stock market . . . . how much did you sacrifice in your life to do it?

    Now, all the things missed may be fine for said individual missing out on them in a pursuit of greatness, but I don't really want to go that route with my own life. I want to be good at anything I do honestly whether it's academic, athletic, or whatever. The jack of all trades who's good at all those trades is a lot more useful than the master of one or two trades if you ask me.

    I mean seriously, ask yourself: Who do you want to be around during the zombie apocalypse? The nobel prize winning chemist and 100 meter sprint Olympic Champion, or the guys who have soldiered, done construction work, have a normal college education, held an office job, traveled, and who enjoy hunting and camping with a myriad choice of weapons and know how to survive in the wilderness?
     
  6. Rand86

    Rand86 likes to butt heads

    On a tangent...

    Can we please take this ridiculous notion out back and shoot it? Once and for all?

    19 too old indeed...
     
  7. Southpaw535

    Southpaw535 Well-Known Member Moderator Supporter

    I just watched Monsters University. I feel like its something you'd enjoy
     
  8. panderso

    panderso Valued Member

    Maybe it's time to start asking yourself some new questions?

    "What sort of person do I want to be?"
    "How can I be the best person I can be?"
    "How do I want to shape or influence the world around me?"
    "How can I better care for my family, my friends, and my community?"
    "How can I be healthy, balanced, and at peace?"

    There's a lot more worth aspiring to than fame or excellence, and it sounds like you already realise that. So instead of worrying that you don't have anything you want to be great at, focus on what makes you a better and more whole person and keep pursuing that.
     
  9. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

    Could be worse. You could be crap at everything!

    Edit: sorry the advice was a bit short but the plane ride to Greece? & back was a touch expensive just to slap you xx
     
  10. Rand86

    Rand86 likes to butt heads

    Also, I'd wager that many people would happily give ten years of their life to instantly achieve what you consider "mediocre".
     
  11. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

    I'd give 10 years of my new life just to be 19 again!
     
  12. Rand86

    Rand86 likes to butt heads

    I wouldn't, but then again I'm young enough to remember what being 19 was like... :whistle::D
     
  13. Count Duckula

    Count Duckula Valued Member

    So... you're worried that you should feel bad because you are not obsessed with being that best? :) If you find happiness the way you do. what does it matter what others think?

    The key to being happy is to figure out what you want, and then pursue it. If that means being 'the best', then pursue that. If it means taking care of people, then do that. If it means raising a family and being there for them, then do that. It doesn't matter. Just be you.
     
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2013
  14. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

    It would make me 29. That'll do!
     
  15. GSHAMBROOKE

    GSHAMBROOKE Thats Tarm Sarm

    If you are the best then there will be no one left to beat but there will be plenty of people lining up to beat you, see how long you stay on top then.
    Anyway if you are so bored with life go and live in some third world countries and work with the ordinary locals for a while a year or two then come back and see if life is so bad.
     
  16. Ero-Sennin

    Ero-Sennin Well-Known Member Supporter

    Or do a forced march with a survival kit, a knife, a water filter, and one pair of fresh socks from Sydney to Perth in Australia. If you do that and survive, you'll have accomplished more than enough. :D

    Bonus points if you swim a few miles in the ocean with large tuna attached to your body.
     
  17. GSHAMBROOKE

    GSHAMBROOKE Thats Tarm Sarm

    I take it you know how far Perth and Sydney are from each other it might take more then a couple of weeks.
    As far as swimming in the deep i gave that up a very long time ago, i was spear fishing and a shark followed me all the way back to shore to the point that as i was walking backward out of the water i could see its dark shadow in front of me, never been back out there since.
     
  18. Ero-Sennin

    Ero-Sennin Well-Known Member Supporter

    I Google Mapped everything to go for the most extreme possible. :p

    It would probably take a good year to cover that distance on foot between the distance and all the attacks on your life.
     
  19. GSHAMBROOKE

    GSHAMBROOKE Thats Tarm Sarm

    I know that we are getting a little off topic here but considering that we mentioned the word shark here is a very recent article you might be interested in and to think that in my youth ii was always in the water and frequently swam this deep, Russian roulette.

    http://www.theage.com.au/queensland/queensland-shark-attack-victim-a-legend-20131124-2y3ja.html
     
  20. Ero-Sennin

    Ero-Sennin Well-Known Member Supporter

    I saw a news clip of that earlier today. I'm not a big fan of being in an environment I have little control in so you can imagine how I feel about getting in strange waters. I tend to keep away from depths I can't touch with my feet and have my head above water when it comes to salt water swimming. Sad happenings though.
     

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