Attitudes in talking about training

Discussion in 'Disabled Martial Artists' started by SaiMaster, Dec 21, 2003.

  1. SaiMaster

    SaiMaster New Member

    I find that few disabled martial artists really talk freely about thier training. I sometimes wonder that is related to the attitude many able bodied people have when they see us try to do things they think a might beyond us.

    Have you heard the "Oh my, you are such an inspiration". I have and it can really get on my nerves. We are not inspirations we are just people trying to get the most out of lives.

    You all on your assets. "Oh poor dears, they just try too hard to do too much". Like how are you supposed to learn if you can do something or not without trying. And it isn't like their are supposedly able bodied people who also haven't landed in similar postitions trying the same moves.

    And then their are the brick walls who don't even think we should have a chance to try at all. They think the risk is too great.

    Does anyone have any thing do add or to share?

  2. Andy Murray

    Andy Murray Sadly passed away. Rest In Peace.

    Hi Sai, nice to see you here.

    All I can say, as someone who's taught physically/mentally hindered people before, is that it's sometimes very hard to be motivating without being patronising, so I for one look forward to everyones views on this.
  3. Cain

    Cain New Member

    Hehe, I have had quite a few people like that, they look at my fingers and instantly bombard me with loads of questions and/or praises that I got through till now.

    It's fine until they overdo it so much that I have to be rude to them when they push it over the edge :(

    The ones who know me for a while take it for granted and don't....I mean never bother me about it.

  4. Noob

    Noob Valued Member

    Fortunately for me I have nothing wrong physically, the good - I can choose who I tell I have my problem too.

    Right now my Sifu doesn't know. I'm conflicted as to whether or not I should tell him. I'd like to try not telling him, see how I go with that. It's not my intention to be decietfull but just to be treated normally for once.

    People who I do tell, I always make it absolutely clear, I don't want any sympathy from them, I don't want to hear praise for doing what I do. I get that from my family all the time. Though they have started to tail off from doing that.

    The best advice I can think of is simply to not treat any person who is disabled, as though they are disabled. One thing I know I do not need is someone pointing out my disability to me, I already know it's there, and chances are I've known longer than you and dealt with it.

    With regard to people who don't think we have a chance of doing something (right now my Psychiatrist - who sees me for 1/2 an hour every three months - dontcha love the NHS - Thank god for my Counsellor), I say "Insert Profanity Here" them. Anyone who says that to me, simply isn't going to be someone I can respect. Why, because someone who asks me how I think I could do this, is always going to win my respect.

    As for motivating me, I don't feel that I need (or should need) any more motivation than anybody else. I'm happy just learning something.
  5. Aravi

    Aravi New Member

    It's just another hurdle to overcome.

    No more, no less.
  6. chungmoomonkey

    chungmoomonkey Just a few more months...

    there is s kid at my studio with 1 arm and we just treat him normally and he is fine
  7. fluffydoc

    fluffydoc Carry On MAPper

    All credit to you for fighting against depression and agoraphobia for 6 years Noob. I was glad to read that you are starting to recover. I wanted to make a few important points though:

    1. Psychiatrists and counsellors have totally different roles.
    2. If you're managing to train and contribute to MAP as you are you must be at a pretty good level now and probably don't need frequent contact with psychiatry.
    3. The NHS is chronically under-resourced and and under-staffed, particularly in unpopular areas like mental health so this has probably contributed to you not being treated as you would like.

    I can understand that you would get irritated if your psychiatrist has advised you against things you want to do and that you've discovered you can manage and that you enjoy. Nevertheless, they're probably trying to give you the best advice they can (people tend not to go into caring professions just to irritate others). Give them the chance to be human and make mistakes too please!
  8. Noob

    Noob Valued Member

    Thats kind of what he's done, along with some stuff the hospitals done, to be honest I was kinda annoyed with him when I posted so sorry if that came through a little too strongly (in a better mood now). Plus I don't blame all Psychiatrists and understand that mental health is just starting to move out of the throw 'em in a sanitorium phase of peoples thinking.

    I do understand your point about me getting better and not needing so much time - which if it can be used to treat the next guy with a problem is a good thing.

    But the hospital has mostly made some mistakes (cancelling my appointments without letting me know, then having to rebook which can be three months from the original date). I'm also very aware of how underfunded the NHS is and even more aware of how fortunate I am to live in a country where this type of treatment is readily available.
  9. fluffydoc

    fluffydoc Carry On MAPper

    Depends which tabloid you're reading.:woo:

    Thanks for replying. I hope my post wasn't too full on! Sounds like your irritation was fairly justified.

    Hope things keep going well for you.:D
  10. Noob

    Noob Valued Member

    Actually saw my Psychiatrist today, seems to be joining in my new found optimism so yay too him. Basically I'm starting to withdraw from my medication (Been taking it for oh about 8 years so things look good).

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