Argh! You're kidding me, right?

Discussion in 'General Martial Arts Discussion' started by Bon, Sep 30, 2003.

  1. Bon

    Bon Banned Banned

    Picked up a copy of Blitz magazine today, don't know why seeing as it's usually full of crap. It seems today it's filled with crap even more so - I've attached a page from the magazine I scanned.

    Does anything really think this would be a viable technique? Perhaps a better question would be who the hell works at blitz magazine that lets this crap get published?

    How does being a point sparring champion make you a legitmate self defense source? It's like asking the BJJ instructor to teach you how to punch. :rolleyes:
     
  2. LilBunnyRabbit

    LilBunnyRabbit Old One

    Altered step 4: Zibby falls backwards and cracks his skull on the floor as the shock rocks his head back.

    Altered step 5: Attacker falls over and crushes Zibby's ribs simply by his falling weight.

    Altered step 6: Zibby quietly dies, concussed, as his lungs collapse under attacker's weight.
     
  3. Tireces

    Tireces New Member

    Its possible for him not to hurt his head from the fall, but the fall backwards is still a pretty stupid step. It was okay up until that point. But why not just kick him in the nuts and stand up, rather than kick him in the nuts and FALL BACKWARDS IN THE CHAIR? Hey, if youre a grappler, you could even shoot at the guy right off the chair after a kick in the nuts, couldnt you? Why the fall backwards? WHY? That just makes no sense. Talk about strategies routed in idle fanciness. If poor mister headbutter actually fell for that one (and didnt just dive on him while he was on the chair to begin with, why would someone randomly walk up to you and headbutt you anyhow?), and had friends, mister zibby would be stomped right quick as he tried to apply a choke with his feet...
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2003
  4. Andrew Green

    Andrew Green Member

    lol...

    Funny stuff.

    Not much different then what gets published in any of the magazines though.

    Looks pretty cool though ;)
     
  5. snake_vs_crane

    snake_vs_crane Valued Member

    i hate guys like this, when you teach self defense people put their lives potentially in your hands.

    not that it matters in this case because that has got to be one of the most useless techniques in existence...
     
  6. Jim

    Jim New Member

    Hey Bon, dare you to write into Blitz and query it... :D
     
  7. Freeform

    Freeform Fully operational War-Pig Supporter

    Baaahhh hahahahahaha!!!

    What a load of tripe!!!

    Col
     
  8. Wearing Grey

    Wearing Grey New Member

    Hahaha, lol, haha, that is pretty funny. If it was me, I would just stand up and hit the guy with the chair.

    But if the he wants to fall back and crack his own skull I am sure that will scare off an attacker just as equaly as well.

    While he is at it, maybe he could just freak the other guy out by chewing his own arm off....

    Next Copy of Blitz, "How to run with Scissors"

    And I remain...

    WG
     
  9. semphoon

    semphoon walk idiot, walk.

    LOL
    As if an attacker would go to the bother of grabing you up out of the chair to place a headbutt on you rather than just punch/knee you in the face when you are at his waist level.
     
  10. semphoon

    semphoon walk idiot, walk.

    Sorry just looked at it again,
    between stages 3 and 4, Zibby's right foot goes from the attackers family jewels to being placed on the atackers left shoulder. In a real situation this would never work; the time factor must be in miliseconds. How dare Zibby try to make us think this would work.
     
  11. Kenpo_Chris

    Kenpo_Chris New Member

    WHAT A WICKED TECHNIQUE!!!!!!!!!!

    For the person doing it that is.

    I see myself standing up and from there, it's a defense against a 2-handed grab from the front.
    lol! :D
     
  12. tai-gip

    tai-gip New Member

    perhaps step 2 and 3 are simultanious

    hell half of us would use a high round or a spin kick in a fight why wouldnt this works

    plus you could easily roll your shoulders or breakfall i would prefer though to end up on something soft like the attacker and end differently but hey this guy is a 5th dan and a Dr :)
     
  13. AIKIDO_WORKS!

    AIKIDO_WORKS! New Member

    Is this magazine suppose to be a parody, or is it an actual credible source of MA information?
     
  14. Freeform

    Freeform Fully operational War-Pig Supporter

    Why the hell would someone attack you like that anyway?

    I'd probably let him head butt my elbow, or the crown of my skull in his face!

    Next month Zibby learns to defend himself from being hit by a baseball bat whilst in a swimming pool!

    Col
     
  15. tai-gip

    tai-gip New Member

    lol

    The Amazing Zibby shows defense against broken parachute from a seated and a standing position

    editors note due to unforseen circumstances this will be The Amazing Zibbys last technique workshop
     
  16. Saz

    Saz Nerd Admin

    Maybe Zibby does Stavit!

    I can see Zibby becoming the butt of MAP's jokes :D
     
  17. saikyou

    saikyou New Member

    stupid technique. first, why fall on the floor and second, do you really have to give him an eye gouge and a groin kick? A really good self-defense instructor would fight his opponent cleanly.
     
  18. Dark Blade

    Dark Blade It Roundhouse time

    What's wrong with an eye gouge or a groin kick?
    You’re just exploiting a weakness in order to win, what’s wrong with that?

    Have you ever waited for a gap in opponents defence in order to strike, that's exploiting a weakness, just the same.

    How kicking someone in the groin any different to smacking them in the side of the head, the head blow would often do more damage.
    So what's wrong with it?
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2003
  19. Jiam

    Jiam New Member

    Hey Dark Blade, wassup?

    I think that the groin kick in that situation was a really good idea, actually. It's something I never would have thought of, but it would be perfect. However, the eye-gouge looks a little implausible. First of all, if the guy is a really big punk, he'll have way more reach than you do, and you would probably be unable to REACH his face. Second of all, you can do a lot more damage than a mere eye-gouge anyway. Third of all, people are instinctually protective about their eyes, and so his reflexes would most likely save him. I'd stick to the groin kick.

    I have a problem with the last three steps though. Like you all said before, falling back in the chair would be a foolish thing to do. MY take on it was that if you REALLY kicked the guy in the groin with the force of even a novice martial artist, the guy would be DOWN. I've not even been whacked really hard in the crotch, and I've been stunned by a weak, unexpected blow in that region. Seriously, that guy would be either stumbling backwards, or collapsing on the floor, at which point you could beat the living daylights out of him relatively easily (kick to the face).

    As for "clean" fighting, if you've ever been in a real fight, you'll know that basically anything goes. As soon as someone attacks you with the intent to severly maim or kill you, they forfiet ALL rights to a "clean" fight. So yeah, maybe if you're really good, you can draw the fight out, use "clean" attacks and proceed to beat him up with finesse. Somehow, that doesn't really work in real life. You only have a moment to react, and any hesitation or failed blow will cost you seriously. If you risk a non-crippling blow in that situation, and fail to stop him, he'll have the advantage. However, a good solid kick to the nuts will stop anyone in their tracks, guaranteed. (Exception: Drug users, so watch out.) Besides, even if you want to have a "clean" fight, most likely they will not. I doubt you've been in serious danger before, saikyou, if you go for a "clean" fight instead of your own survival.

    EDIT: If this guy is ALSO a trained martial artist, he would not fall for a simple trick like this anyway. Then again, were he a trained martial artist, he would not be dumb enough to grab your lapels and go for a headbutt.
     
  20. semphoon

    semphoon walk idiot, walk.

    Next month the amazing Zibby defends himself against several horny lesbians with only the use of a sock puppet and a tea kettle:D
     

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