A lobster walks into a bar

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by morphus, Mar 13, 2004.

  1. morphus

    morphus Doobrey

    A physical ending & funny i thought.

    A lobster walks into a bar one evening & asks the barman for a pint,
    The barman says "i'm not serving you",
    "Why not" asks the lobster
    Cos everynight you come in here giving it all that - (hold both arms up hands opening & shutting your hands - imitating a lobster/a chopsy so & so)

    Well i DID think it was funny, i thought it was great ....ok i'll go now. :D
     
  2. Tatsumaru

    Tatsumaru Your new God!

    lol, hate to criticise but maybe it loses something in the telling by text :D
     
  3. Tatsumaru

    Tatsumaru Your new God!

    Clearly the funniest joke ever told by man is:


    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?





    Because it was dead! :D :D :D

    (or maybe it takes a certain sense of humour to laugh at that joke)
     
  4. Anth

    Anth Daft. Supporter

    i hope chimpcheng and chungmoomonkey dont see this :p :)
     
  5. semphoon

    semphoon walk idiot, walk.

    Equally as good as the dead monkey joke-

    Why did the plane crash into the mountain?

    Cos the pilot was a loaf of bread.

    Brilliant.
     
  6. dragon_bunny

    dragon_bunny Valued Member

    it's up there with
    whats brown and sticky?
    A stick

    ...
     
  7. Chris.B

    Chris.B New Member

    If this was some american idle show for jokes...simon would have eaten you. Get it...HAHAHAH...hahaha...haha...ha......ha..........ha.................ha.......................ha.. OK...umm look a giant distraction! *chris runs away and when everyone looks back chris is gone.
     
  8. Topher

    Topher allo!

    Whats black & whiye and read all over...












    ....a newspaper :)
     
  9. Shortfuse

    Shortfuse King of Hearts

    hahaha thank goodness my sense of humor tolerates this :D
     
  10. StorDuff

    StorDuff adamantium

    A couple guys of varying race/ethnicity/religion/nationality walk into a bar, the bartender says "Get the F out"


    I can't retell it like I heard or else I may get a quick banning :eek:
     
  11. Kris H

    Kris H New Member

    Heres another bad one along the monkey lines.

    Why did a koala fall out the tree?
    Because it was dead.
    Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree?
    Because it was nailed to the first.
    Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree?
    Thought it was a game.
    Why did the fourth Koala fall out of the tree?
    Because of Peer Pressure.
    Why did the lady die?
    Hit on the head by four Koalas.

    Ha.....Ha.....

    yes i'm done laughing to :D
     
  12. Shortfuse

    Shortfuse King of Hearts


    thas pretty funny
     
  13. YounGrasshopper

    YounGrasshopper New Member

    lol at the Lobster, Monkey, Koala, and STick joke (i like that one)
     

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