A duck walks into a bar....

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by Combatant, Nov 21, 2005.

  1. Combatant

    Combatant Monsiour Fitness himself.

    A duck walks in to a bar and asks- 'Got any bread?'
    Barmans says-'No, sorry'
    The duck says- 'Got any bread?'
    Barman says 'No i'm afraid I don't have any bread, we serve drinks here'.
    The duck says 'Got any bread?'
    Barman says 'LOOK, I DONT HAVE ANY BREAD, PLEASE LEAVE!'
    Duck says 'Got any bread?'
    Barman says 'THATS IT, IF YOU ASK ME ONE MORE TIME FOR BREAD I'M GOING TO NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THE BAR!!!! :bang:
    The duck says 'Got any nails?'
    Barman says 'NO!!!'
    Duck says 'Got any bread?'
     
  2. Dr.Syn

    Dr.Syn Valued Member

    A Hooker walks into a bar with a duck under her arm/.
    "Hey, get that pig outta here" the bartender yells
    "This ain't no pig it's a duck" answers the Hooker.
    "I'm talking to the duck" says the bartender
     
  3. Combatant

    Combatant Monsiour Fitness himself.

    Hehehe :yeleyes:
     
  4. Tyranith

    Tyranith New Member

    Irishman walks into a bar with a toad on his head. Bartender asks "Where'd you get that?"

    Toad says: "Started out as a boil on my ****!"
     
  5. slipthejab

    slipthejab Hark, a vagrant! Supporter

    You guys keep these good jokes goin' and I will never have to really entertain my girlfriend.. I just keep telling her your jokes... she's splitting her sides laughin'!:D
     
  6. Hiroji

    Hiroji laugh often, love much

    During world war 2, a Nazi goes into a french brothel.

    He selects his girl, and they go somewhere private.

    Once in the room the nazi, with his hitler youth knife, begins cutting the bed up. he rips 4 bed springs out, and places them on the floor.

    The French Prostitute, looking kind of worried says " What is this you are dong to the bed?"

    the nazi says "Zis iz a method only ze germans use!. Now place each one of you elbowz in ze front springz, put each one of your kneez in ze rear springs, and qwack like a duck!"

    The french prostitute takes her clothes off and does as the nazi says and asks, "What is this method called?" to which the nazi replies,

    "zis iz ze Four Sprung Duck technique!" :D
     
  7. Topher

    Topher allo!

    A woman walks into a bar with a parrot on her shoulder.
    Bartender says: That’s an ugly bird where did you get it?
    Parrot replies: France, there’s million of them.

    :D :Angel:
     
  8. Dr.Syn

    Dr.Syn Valued Member

    HeeHee..
     
  9. Athleng Nordic

    Athleng Nordic Sadly passed away. RIP. Supporter

    :D


    My turn, A Irishman walks out of a pub.
     
  10. slipthejab

    slipthejab Hark, a vagrant! Supporter

    LOL!
     
  11. Dr.Syn

    Dr.Syn Valued Member


    Now that's FUNNY....
     
  12. Shadow_of_Evil

    Shadow_of_Evil wants to go climbing...

    Bah! Us Irish never leave the pubs. Are you crazy?
    HeHe
     
  13. Sgt_Major

    Sgt_Major Ex Global Mod Supporter

    Thats a lie! Like that'd ever happen!
     
  14. Athleng Nordic

    Athleng Nordic Sadly passed away. RIP. Supporter

    Walking no, crawling sure. :D :p
     
  15. Shadow_of_Evil

    Shadow_of_Evil wants to go climbing...

    *throws grenade, with pin pulled, into a Northern Irish pub*

    See! Still, no one is leaving.
     
  16. Dr.Syn

    Dr.Syn Valued Member

    3 ducks walk into a bar and take seats and bartender approaches the first one and asks his name.
    Huey the duck answers.

    So whats going on Huey?

    Nothing much, a little swiming a little quacking and jumping in and out of puddles all day

    The bartender approaches the second one and askes his name.

    Louey the duck answers

    So what's going on Louey?

    Nothing much, a little swiming a little quacking and jumping in and out of puddles all day.

    The bartender approaches the third duck.."So what's your name? Dewey?

    No, it's Puddles
     

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