One simple parenting trick, That THEY dont want you to know...

Congratulations!
Here are my tips for parenting ...

Don't stop training. As time becomes a more precious commodity, you'll be tempted to drop training completely. However, every parent needs time away to clear the mind and keep from being overwhelmed. You cannot stick to your non-parent training schedule, but you can still attend training regularly. If your wife doesn't have a similar hobby, encourage her to start one (martial arts, yoga, fitness, belly dancing ...) as she'll do better with regular time away for herself also.

Schedule, schedule, schedule. Kids do better when they know what will happen, and it happens on a regular basis. Even if they aren't happy with what is happening (like bed times or chores) they are still happier having it scheduled at a regular time.

Jim Fay. He has some terrific insights into dealing with children, and helped us immensely in dealing with our ADHD child. Contrary to what a lot of people would have you believe, raising a child to be a responsible and contributing member of today's complex society is NOT a naturally occurring trait. It is almost impossible to 'wing it' and have it turn out well. It takes research, reading, and much effort on the part of the parent, but it's worth it!

 

They will eat your time, your finances, your sleep, your sanity. Everything you have and more, they will consume.

It will be 100% worth it. Every little bit of progress they make in life from being able to recognise your face, to first steps and beyond. It's worth any amount of personal sacrifice, discomfort, and hardwork.

Congratulations man.

PROTIP: Buy an absolute tonne of nappies well before due date. Seriously, stock right up.

If you get the opportunity to attend maternity classes with your missus, they help (helped me loads).

MOST IMPORTANTLY: DON'T BE HARD ON YOURSELF. No one has any right to tell you what you should and shouldn't do, no one has it perfect you will make 'mistakes' but ultimately it won't matter.

 

Learn to effectively balance family commitments, work, and training. I make three classes a week work. Don't give up training, though. It's a great outlet to blow off steam and keep sane as parenting can be very trying.

Be patient and supportive with your partner/wife. I don't mean this in a sexist way her, but hormones can be effected, a post-partum depression can hit. Never let her forget that she is a good mother, and that she is beautiful. Assist her in any way that you can. Sometimes this can mean sleepless nights and missed training.

Lastly, I recommend that you and your partner make your own parenting decisions. This may sound obvious, but there are many schools of thought to just about every aspect of parenting (especially breast milk vs formula). Strangers may judge you, and family may pressure you, depending on the choices you make. You will find your own way.

 

Sorry, can't chip in with advice, but MASSIVE Congratulations!

 

Also, Congratulations!

 

Congratulations!
I also can't help or share any experience, but I would also say that making time is the most important. It's great you are planning to cut some training to help the mum and be with the little one

 

Thanks, it's only fair, especially In the first few years when the workload is more constant!
I'll still train of course, but I'm gonna have to be more productive with my time!

 

You don't need to buy half the stuff you think you do is my big advice for a first child.
On a practical note Aldi nappies are better than Pampers and a fraction of the cost.
On a personal level lot's of people will give you "helpful" advice, but the truth is all children are different and everyone's life is different. Don't get too stressed about that you're not conforming to other people's ideas.

 

+1 for Aldi nappies! We saved a fortune with those, and they seemed just as good.
Also "helpful" advice we had many tell us what was best - if you buy 5 books on bringing up babies, then you'd find they call conflict each other.
We have 2 children, we pretty much brought them up the same way, but they are very different children. One it took 2-3hours to get to bed every night for years (hence why it wasn't realistic for me to train in the evenings) and the second sleeps within 5 minute
So don't stress (even though you will).

 

I'm not sure I have any advice. I find being a parent incredibly hard (more so with two) and think (know actually) I do a bad job of it. Other people seem to breeze it but it causes me no end of stress.

One thing I'd say though. Tell them "no" from time to time and damn well mean it. Most of the horrible kids I come into contact with are horrible because their parents were/are too lazy, slack, priviliged or stressed to follow through with a "no" and make it mean something.
In particular middle class parents seem to see the world as little Angus' (or Maximilian, or Oscar, or Seraphina or whatever middle class name they've got) own little play ground where they can do whatever they like and just smile when he's being a little toerag.

 

Congratulations !
Can't add much to what everyone else has said, perhaps don't make threats/promises you can't keep and be aware kids ( at least mine) have the ability to remember and quote back your words to you !
Share your passions and interests but learn when to step back, recognise sparks of interest and talent and nurture them,
above all listen.

 

Got it,
1) stop, take a breath and reevaluate priorates.
2) collaborate, with my significant other DP
3) and listen, to the kids and partner.



Seriously thank you all for the advice!

 

I agree completely! This is where Jim Fay's approach to parenting helped us out a lot. He stresses limits and how to teach them to make good decisions, and how you can inadvertently teach your kids the wrong things when you think you are just looking out for them. I used his methods to great effect on my own kids (The 30 year old is now teaching math at a high school for at-risk students, and the 36 year old is the senior web developer at University of North Texas) as well as a large number of Boy Scouts while I was a Scout leader.

 

Straight savage. I'm banking that in memory in case of future babies.

 

Congrats!!

To add to the advice here, when your child is a little older don't forget to bring the sippy cup on occasions you go out to eat.

 

You missed the important one - Aldi nappies.

 

Another suggestion.
Tell your kids off if it's warranted and don't sugar coat it.
My missus went round a new friends house the other day and it was chaos. The new friends kids run rings round her and don't do a damn thing she says. Not in a scratty "naughty" way but in a "too much freedom and privilege ", painfully middle class, kind of way.
At one point the older daughter (10 I think) was jumping on the settee, flinging her legs around. She was told multiple times to stop but didn't (because things aren't enforced). She did it again and kicked a brand new framed picture off the wall and smashed the glass. The mum finally snapped, shouted and told her off. A quick 2 minute telling off. And then....get this....apologised to the kid for shouting at her!
Now in my house...that would have warranted a stern telling off and some sort of consequences (loss of pocket money, sent to room, loss of something they enjoy). I certainly wouldn't be apologising for getting angry. Accidents are one thing. But something happening because a kid continues to do something they shouldn't be warrants a telling off IMHO.

 

Oooh, you gotta love kids like this!

Not a parent, but what noticed during kids training is, that the old "Be consequent" is golden.
Do something, if you say so.
If you tell them: "If I have to say that one more time, you get a break" - give that break.

Works wonders with the more chaotic kids, in a way that they listen to be better than to the other coach; which, btw, is the grandma of one of these kids.

Love, consequence, love, borders, love, ...
Even today, where most people say yet again how awful kids are, there are more then enough great kids of all ages.

 

I don't have kids but have heard friends talk about various advice.
One thing I recall: you can trade off night duty with your partner even while the baby is breast feeding. It takes a bit to get used to, but your partner can train herself to not really wake up, and still feed the baby. E.g., you can just bring the baby to her in bed for a quick feed, and once your partner gets a little used to it she may be able to feed without waking up fully.